PAIGE"So... tonight, same time?" Samuel asks me as he catches me on campus between classes.Today, I doubt it because I don't feel like I need it or want it. Sex with him is fine, but I know I'm going to compare it with Ashton, and I know that with Samuel, it's already beyond these encounters every other Friday. He wants to go out, take me to dinner and the movies, and that's not what I'm looking for. Not with him."Ummm..."My phone vibrates in the pocket of my coat, and I frantically search for it to get rid of Samuel and this moment. Ashton's name lights up the screen."I have to take this," I excuse myself. "I'll send you a message later because I might go out with a friend tonight," I lie, although it's not entirely untrue because Jo wants me to go out with her and the guys.Samuel smiles at me, and it feels incredibly awkward as he reaches out and brushes my hair away from my face. I fake a smile and stride away from him with the phone pressed to my ear."Come here," he orders.
PAIGEExams have started, and now I'm stressed out with no free time at all. Owen's check-up is scheduled for this Friday, and I take the liberty of calling Ashton to see if he wants to join us, so he can stop blaming himself for what happened."Why are you calling me?" he asks."Hmm?" I hesitate. "Because I want to tell you something?""And if you lift your head?"I do it immediately, and I don't plan on smiling when I see him next to my car. It's not something I can control; I feel like a fool. I tuck my phone into my coat pocket and sink into my clothes, closing my notebook with a snap."What are you doing here?" I ask him.He licks his lips and runs his fingers through his wind-tousled hair. He should cut it a little, although this length suits him quite well."Don't you want to talk?" he says."Yes, but I don't think you knew I wanted to talk to you before I called you. Is everything okay?"Ashton doesn't seem like the type of guy who waits for you in your car. I don't know what
PAIGE"You should give it a try," Jo says."Mmhmm," I reply."I'm sure he gets more exercise thinking about you than when he's fighting.""Oh God! Do you only come here for sexual stuff or what?"Ian and Jo laugh from the sofa, and I return to my notes to study. It's all I do, and even in my free time between classes, I stay in the library buried in notes.Girl with pretty eyes.I read Samuel's message over and over again and type:Sporty guy.I don't ignore him, and I don't think my thing with Ashton is going to go much further than what's already happened. He doesn't date girls, and I know I'm not and won't be the only one, so I can hang out with whoever I want. But Samuel... I don't want him to get the wrong idea either.I leave the phone among all my notes and adjust my reading glasses. I don't usually wear them, but I've found that if I read and concentrate so much, my vision gets tired faster and it gives me a headache. They're old glasses that I sometimes wore in high school an
PAIGEI wake up early, and Samuel is still asleep, so I take a shower and when I'm ready, I have to wake him up to take me to the mall to work. Today I only have a couple of hours off between my morning and afternoon shifts, so I go out to eat at a nearby store; while nibbling on a slice of pizza, I send a message to Ashton:How was the doctor's appointment?Today Owen has a check-up, and I can't wait for them to remove the bandage because I can't stand seeing him like this. In less than five minutes, I receive a photo. It's Owen, still with his arm bandaged, but he's happily playing with something on the floor.One more week.I don't want him to spend Christmas uncomfortable and unable to run. It breaks my heart. We're entering December, and there are a lot of things I want to show him, like the snow. But it seems like he doesn't mind wearing the arm so stretched out anymore because when I finally see him on Monday, he's running around with his friends again, still using only one arm
ASHTON"Have you thought about it?"I punch the punching bag with a closed fist."No, damn it. I don't trust you one bit.""I'm your father.""And a fucking drunk who spends money on prostitutes," I snap. "Why should I trust you with your damn business?""Hey! No phones in here," Apolo yells from the other side of the gym.What do I care about his damn rules?"Why don't you come to dinner tonight so we can talk and you can meet Lucy?""Pass. I'll think about it."I hang up the phone and toss it into my bag before Apolo comes to ruin my entire day. I punch the bag harder for fifteen minutes, until sweat sticks my hair to my forehead and I can't see.How bad can this shit go? I spend days researching it and talking to that asshole Apolo because he's the only one who knows how a business works even though the gym isn't the most "business-like" thing. It doesn't seem like complete shit to me; car dealerships make money, legal money, something that would suit me just fine; reluctantly, I a
PAIGETo say that I'm scared is too much, but to say that I don't care is too little. It unsettles me. It's been a week since my exams ended, so I've finished this semester, and now I don't see him anymore and I've deleted contact with him, but today he decided to stroll around the mall knowing it's almost an hour from campus, and it's obvious he's just coming to be a nuisance.Now that I only have my afternoons occupied, I've used these days to do things with Owen until I start work, and Ashton has come over to the apartment more often, not just to see him, because we ended up naked in the bathtub and maybe accidentally in Jo's room.I'm about to leave, and Ashton better have left Owen sleeping at home. Maybe he's even gone, and I think about calling him to see if he can come because the situation scares me a bit. Although maybe... "No! He's crazy!" I hesitate, but I leave accompanied by Laura. Together, we pick up dinner from a nearby restaurant and walk together to the car with som
ASHTONI entangle her in my hips, she's light, and I feel her against the back of the couch rubbing against me like an animal."Can you wait until I leave?"Paige pushes me by the chest, and I want to kill her friend. She gets off the couch and puts on her clothes."Are you leaving?" she asks."I had plans with Ian, I was waiting for you, but I see you have company, so I'll pass on sticking around to listen to you."Better that she leaves; I want to fuck her like an animal, but she's not the same anymore, not Paige, because I have her tits in my hands when a little voice separates us."Mama?"Paige pushes me away again and kneels on the back of the couch. Owen looks at us, holding onto his blanket with his little hands."How did you get out of your crib?"She puts on her clothes, and I turn away because I have a tent in my pants. And just like that, she's gone from being my sexual fantasy to a damn mother. She bends down in front of him, and he throws his arms around her neck."I want
PAIGEChristmas is much better than last year, although when I arrive at Liv's house in the afternoon, her son Lucas asks me about Owen, but I assure him that Owen will be there for them to play on New Year's Eve. I don't know what Ashton's plans are, or what they'll do, even though we've been spending a lot of time together lately, but the main thing is "for Owen."These holidays with my family were very normal, although I can't lie and say they weren't nice; but I don't talk to them anymore, and I can compare how fun it is to have dinner with people who now love and support me. Liv lives not far from the apartment, but since it's very late when we finish celebrating and playing bingo among the four of us, and Jo has overdone it with the drinks, we decide to stay over, and in the morning we exchange the few gifts we have compared to the mountain Lucas has. Around eleven in the morning, when I think it's a good time for Ashton to be awake, I dare to send him a message:Merry Christmas