LOGINASHER HALL Seeing Carson so broken, watching his friends pick him up, knowing the kind of man he is, the kind that hated being a burden, knowing that he’d hate being like that. It broke me. Watching him look so utterly defeated and being unable to take him in my arms, to protect him from the monster in his life.I’d felt sick.But I also knew I didn’t want his efforts to go to waste.So I’d fisted my hands, blinked away the tears, forced myself to look unaffected, like my heart wasn’t thrashing about in my chest.I pretended he didn’t matter.Crawford had swung into action immediately Carson’s friends took him away. Because contrary to what he says, he’s afraid of his son. He knows Carson will be his undoing, it was only a matter of when. He amped up his security, made sure his extracurricular affairs didn’t make it back to the news.I watched him in contained rage, the way he barked orders, paced, face white. He was different from all
Everything passes slowly and in a blur at the same time.My mother had exchanged herself for Fiona, who threw herself at me immediately she saw me. Crawford’s men had pulled her off me, and I couldn’t have felt any less disgusted with myself if I tried. He was dragging her off to heaven knows where, where anything could happen to her. But she was screaming for me the whole time. I’ll hear her threats to my father for the rest of my life. And the way he was taken aback by her screams of murder.I wish I could say I helped her. I put her there, I’m the reason her child will grow up in a cage.The thought of that made me feel less than human. Even more than I felt before. “Your own mother didn’t want you. I told you, but you wouldn’t listen. This is what happens when you don’t follow your destiny.” he had said. He was a monster, through and through. However, there’s a vast difference between guessing that he’d be able to do something and watching him do it.The only shred of humanity
The memories come flooding back. All the times I saw him hang by her statue, all the times I caught him lingering with an expression full of longing… all the times I ran here, I walked by, I was walking past my mother. If I had looked closer, I would have known, I could have saved her… if I lived here instead of demanding my own place. Maybe she wouldn’t have spent the last few years underground.I thought he couldn’t possibly fuck with me any more than he already did.But he’s Crawford, I should have expected something of this magnitude from him.Separating mother and child but keeping them together at the same time. Only Crawford could manage that.A terrible cry falls from my mother’s lips, snapping my attention to her. She’s awfully pale, almost translucent from the lack of sunlight. My heart constricts at the sight of her. There’s not much I remember about the woman that birthed me, not her smell, nor her smile, nothing about her screamed familiar, but I knew deep down in my bone
I’m full of self loathing and guilt as the address comes in. It’s the main house, where I grew up. Where all my demons are. I can’t help but notice the irony, it’ll end where it started, at least for me.Fiona suggests we tie her up, or cuff her to make it believable, but she takes one look at my expression and quickly changes her mind, I wonder what she sees, guilt, shame? The fact that I can’t call myself human after this is over?Tim drives us there, the whole time my neck is stiff, and spine is arrow straight.My friends already made celebratory plans for when all of it is over, but I know what they’ll find after. I’ve been working on it. They’ll hate me, but they’ll understand that there’s nothing for me here anymore.They’d understand.As the car inched closer to the main house, images of being jerked around by Crawford floods my mind. The time I ended up running down this driveway in nothing but boxers and a busted lip.No one was down here, no one came to save me.At the end, I
My lungs refuse to work as Fiona speaks with Crawford. It feels sticky inside, blood frozen in my veins. She must sense my guilt, so as she speaks in a shaky voice, she doesn’t look up at me. Still, it doesn’t ease the boulder that lodges itself in my chest. Crawford asks to speak with me and she finally turns to me, eyes full of regret, she shoots me a small, watery smile before handing me the phone. My hands are stiff. Tim walks to me, standing right next to me so I know he’s here, brows drawn, glare as hot as the sun directed at the phone. I find it’s easier to breathe with the realization that I’m not alone. Crawford doesn’t say anything, but his too steady breathing over the phone lets me know exactly what is going on, he’s angry in ways that he’s just inventing himself. Plus, the silence is to rattle me. I square my shoulders.This is war. We’ve been going at it since I was born, he’s always had the upper hand, this time though, I managed to one up him, and with that hand and
CARSON BITTERS POV I threw up thrice before Robin said we should call the whole thing off, arguing that we’d try again with something less dehumanizing.“Don’t be stupid. This our only chance and you know it. We blow it and I’ll be chasing cold trails for the rest of my life. Those girls will never have a life in the meantime.” I had said, glaring at him from the floor of the toilet.I’d never seen him so rattled, for the first time in a long time, I saw that look in his eyes again. Like he pitied me. And I fucking hated it.“It’s us.”“What?”“We’ll be chasing cold trails for the rest of our lives. There hasn’t been a time we weren’t in this together. And there never will be.”My acidic mouth was left hanging for a while, his words sinking in slowly. It’s not the first time any of them mentioned it, but it hits a lot different when you’re literally at rock bottom where it seems going up is a distant dream. Scrubbing the back of my hand across my mouth
The detective looks like he wants to jump over the table and punch my face until it’s a bloody mess. I shiver, giving him the stink eye.“Am I supposed to feel safe when the police looks like he wants to murder me?” Throwing in a fake gasp at the end.The detective gets to his feet nosily, looking d
Asher lied. He’s not on the bed this morning, he’s left the safety of the bed, he said we could stay forever. He’s standing in the living room, a frown dragging both brows to the middle of his face, eyes on his phone. Sliding next to him with a scoff, “Ignoring me for your phone? I too have one
Asher makes a show of glancing at his wristwatch, bringing his eyes to meet mine, unaware of the riot he’s caused in the pit of my belly. “You aren’t late.”Instead of answering, I walk into his arms, nesting in his body, eyes shut. I inhale deeply, finally able to breathe here. The real world dis
Asher drops my hand, extricating himself from me.I whine from the lose of his body warmth. He couldn’t just do that and leave! Nobody does that.But he does.And just like that, the tension snaps, left hanging with nowhere to go. “It might be scary,” I start softly, “I know mine was. But yours e







