Order in my life

- - Don’t you miss him, Maya?

- - Who?

I already knew the answer to that question.

- - Santa Clause!

We both laugh so hard that for a second I forgot about how sad answering her is going to be.

- - You know who I mean.

- If I say no it would be a big fat lie. If I say yes it would be against my rules. So, to answer your question I miss the way he was making me feel.

- - You mean loved, important.

- - Yes, that is exactly what I mean. Now come help me with this tree. I can wait to see it done.

I bought a Christmas tree just to beautify my house. And because of the holiday itself and what it meant, because there was no way in Heaven I will celebrate with my family. I don’t have one. I promised myself that sadness and sorrow would be gone this winter. Sometimes is so hard to believe Pamela is no more but at the same time, I agree with the thought that God just needed angels for Him.

It took us one whole hour to finish the tree and light