Chapter 1

I move to the beat of the music, suddenly feeling all my worries wash away. I wanted to forget. To forget that the man I’m in love with is having this party to celebrate finding his mate.

To say I'm heartbroken would be an understatement. I am shattered because I knew my love for him would probably never fade.

“Come on, Sadie, you’ve danced enough.” My best friend, Piper, tells me, pulling me off the dance floor.

She knew I was having a hard time today. After all, the man who had unknowingly broken my heart was her big brother.

“I want to dance a little more.” I whined.

Right now, I would do anything if it meant that I wouldn’t think of him. That I wouldn’t think of the fact that he was never going to be mine. That I had lost him before I even had him.

It’s sad, honestly. I tried everything to get him to notice me, but he never did. I was nothing more than his sister’s best friend. The annoying girl that usually gets on his nerves.

I had hoped and prayed to the moon goddess that he would be my mate. I had wished every single year on my birthday that he would be mine. I thought he would notice me, but he never did. How could he when I wasn't his type? When I wasn't the kind of woman he would look at twice?

Unrequited love hurt like a fucking bitch, and now I was paying the price. Now I had to watch him fawn over his mate like she was the most precious thing in the world.

It fucking hurt, and no one knew how deep the pain was.

“You have to get over him. I’ve been telling you this for years,” Piper says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

She hands me a shot, and I gladly take it. I needed something to drown out the pain I was currently feeling.

“Look, you probably have a mate out there that is dying to meet you. Get over Alec. It won’t be fair to your mate if he finds out you’re in love with someone else.”

Just the mention of his name brings pain shooting inside me. If I didn’t know better, I would think I was literally dying from heartbreak.

“It’s not that easy, Piper,” I whispered brokenly.

How can I explain to her that her brother was embedded deep inside me? That he’s in my blood. That he is all I see and all I can think of. That he is the very air I breathe.

She wouldn’t understand. She always thought it was a silly crush. Alec was the freaking Alpha. Apart from that, he was freaking hot. A god walking among mortals. Every teenage girl and every single woman in our pack had a crush on him. Damn, even some of the mated women got all flustered around him, so, of course, Piper would think that mine would fade away.

“It is. It will be really wrong if you continue this when he has already found his mate. It won’t be fair to them if you shadow their union by refusing to let him go,” she says, looking at me in sympathy.

I turn my head away. I didn’t want to see the sympathy in her eyes. It always hurt because I knew that I could never measure up to what a Luna should be.

I knew what she was saying was the truth, but getting my heart to listen was another thing altogether.

“Let’s just enjoy the party, okay? I’m sure that I’ll get over him in no time,” I lie to her, changing the subject all together.

She nods her head eagerly before shooting back her glass and grinning at me. I manage to give her a smile before I take another shot.

She was the happiest when Alec found his mate. We usually find our mates when we reach twenty-one; Alec hadn’t been that lucky. I thought it was a sign. I was four years younger than him, so I thought it was a sign that he was meant to be mine.

I am now twenty. I thought that I had to wait one more year before we found out we were mates. I was so excited. I couldn't wait for next year. The shock was on me, though. Unfortunately for me, he found his mate a few months ago.

Piper chats with those around us. Happiness radiating from every pore of her body. Instead of engaging, I scan the area. My eyes immediately land on him, and my breath catches.

He was dancing with Lola. His mate.

He held her so closely and tenderly, like she was a porcelain doll that would break easily. He pulled away and looked down at her. His eyes held so much tenderness and love that I found it hard to breathe just from looking at them.

He bends down and softly kisses her lips. For the first time since I’ve known him, he was smiling. My heart breaks even more knowing that Lola was able to do something that I’ve never been able to do.

Not wanting to stay at the table watching everyone happy for the couple and not wanting to see Alec and Lola, I stand up.

“Where are you going?” Piper asks me, worry written on her face.

“I’m just going to the bar. I need to get shitfaced ASAP,” she nods her head, and I leave.

I take one of the bar stools and face the bartender. He was really cute. If only my stupid heart could fall for someone like him instead of Alec, who was unattainable.

“What can I get you?” Blondie asks with a smile.

“Something really strong.”

He stares at me before smiling again. “Coming up.”

I don’t know how long I'd been there when I felt his presence next to me. I give him a quick glance before turning back to face him with the drink in my hand.

“How are you, Sadie?” He suddenly asks, something that is so unlike him.

I turn to face him, wondering if he was drunk or something.

“I’m good,” I tell him after realizing that he is sober.

“I’m so fucking happy. Lola is everything I’ve ever wanted,” he says, grinning.

I take back what I said. He wasn’t sober, but he also wasn’t wholly drunk. The Alec I know isn’t this chipper. Not even when he has had a few drinks.

Looking at him now, it hits me how happy he freaking was. He was so happy that it radiated off him in waves. How then can I be against his happiness? I loved him so much, so how can I begrudge him for finding his mate?

Loving him means that I should be happy when he is.

Having realized that, I let go of my pain and resentment. Loving him meant that his happiness is mine, even if I am not the one bringing him that happiness.

“I’m happy for you. Really happy, Alec,” I tell him, feeling a weight being lifted off my shoulder.

“Thank you.”

Two glasses appear in front of me.

“On the house,” the guy said.

He is a different bartender from the one that had been serving me for the past few minutes, but I just shrug it off. Maybe they exchanged shifts or something.

"Here,” I hand him one of the glasses. "To your new beginnings.”

We clink our glasses and throw back the contents. It burns and tastes weird, but I don’t really care. I was drinking with Alec. That has never happened. Instead of thinking too much about it, I let go. I was going to have this moment with him, then I was going to let go of him.

We talk for a while, and the next thing I know, we were in a room. I don’t know how or when we got there, but my mind doesn’t register a damn thing.

“I’ve been waiting for this since we met,” Alec says, undressing me.

Before I can respond, he smashes his mouth against mine and takes my mouth in a scorching kiss. One that left me breathless. My mind is hazy as Alec takes my body. Joining us and making us one. I love everything he does, and I eventually lose count of every single time he brings me to the climax.

This is everything I ever imagined being with Alec would feel like. So why the hell did it feel so wrong? Why the hell did it feel like something wasn’t right?