Chapter 2

Why don't I just die?

~Eleanor Pov~

I walked back to the gathering, my body heavy with everything that had just happened. It was a fight with every step, my legs seemed to quiver beneath me, ready to give way at any time. The ache in my chest and the lingering sting in my body from last night made it hard for me to move, yet I couldn't let anybody see my pain.

I had to act normal like everything was fine.

The laughter and talking louder, their voices closer, others, too, my pack amongst them. My stomach twisted in knots, dread clawing at me as I stepped closer. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to see anyone. But I had no choice.

My eyes scoured the faces of the people, searching for him. Hadin. To see this man who'd destroyed me.

Yet, it seemed like nothing.

Disappointment fell heavily, like a blanket, wrapping itself around me. He was gone. Had walked away from me like everybody else.

I swallowed hard, forcing my expression into something blank and indifferent. My heart was breaking, but no one here could know that. They'd only mock me more if they saw how weak I was.

Straightening my shoulders, I moved forward, pretending I belonged here, pretending I wasn't a shattered, miserable mess. But just as I started weaving through the crowd, I saw her.

My stepmother.

She stood near the cluster of women, hawk-eyed as if to survey the gathering for a hawk on the prowl for its prey. Her lips were set into that same cruel shade of red; her face contorted into that expression of distastefulness, as though everything and everybody in this room was beneath her.

I froze, a panic welling inside me. Maybe she hasn't seen me yet. Maybe if I just turn away—

 "Eleanor!"

Cut as clear as a razor and louder, her voice sliced through the noise; I flinched, my body going stiff, as heads turned in my direction.

There was no getting away now.

Forced smiling on my face, though it felt more like a grimace twisted to her, my heart pounding in my chest as I twisted the fabric of my dress nervously in my hands.

She stormed up to me, heels clicking on the stone pathway, her eyes narrowing into slits with each step that brought her closer to me. A cruel smile twisted her lips as she did so.

"Well, well, well, would you look at who decided to come," she said quite loud for everyone to hear.

I opened my mouth to say something, but before uttering a word, she wouldn't let me.

“Where have you been?" she lashed out, her voice as sharp as a razor's edge, deep and accusatory. "Do you know how worried I've been? Running off like some lazy child when everybody else is working their ass off to represent our pack!”

I stared at the lie blowing me away. Worried? She hadn't lost a single day's sleep over me in my entire life. But by now, I knew better than to argue with her.

“I-I'm sorry," I stammered, my voice barely audible.

She crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes narrowing even further. "Sorry isn't good enough, Eleanor. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for me, as your mother, to have a daughter like you? Weak, lazy, useless, you bring nothing but shame to this pack!”

The words slapped me like a blow, and my cheeks flared with heat. My gaze darted around the crowd to the sneers, smirks, and mocking glances from my packmates and the others who had assembled.

"I wasn't- I wasn't playing," I tried to explain, my voice shaking. "I just needed a moment-"

"Enough!" she snapped, slicing through my weak words like a whip.

Before I could get another word out, a hand connected with my cheek, hard. The sound reverberated in the silence of the aftermath, and with the force, sent me back a step.

My father was standing before me, hand still raised, his face masked with fury.

"Do not talk back to your mother," he growled low, menacingly. "You've done nothing to earn that right."

My face was aflame, my head spinning, I stared right back at him. Not having seen him approach, I was quite surprised. Yet here he stood, above me, a silhouette extending down towards the earth.

“Where were you?" he spat, so disgusting. "What have you done, you're running off like a— do you know how much of a disgrace you brought onto yourself?"

I opened my mouth to speak but said nothing. What to say? That I'd gone into the woods to give my heart and soul to a mate that never wanted me? That I had been rejected and shamed and left to lie alone?

No, I could never have told them. They would not have paid any heed to that in any way whatsoever.

My silence, on the other hand, started to become a source for him of his ever-developing rage. "Look into my eyes when I speak with you!" He snarled.

Pushing back, the stare went up to his eyes no more bright as cold and careless and filled with all the despise that they ever held within themselves towards me.

A sea of faces, their pity, and amusements intermingled. I heard whispers, quiet snickers, cruel things that they thought I couldn't hear.

"She's so pathetic."

"Can you believe she's the Alpha's daughter?"

"Even the omegas are stronger than her."

My throat closed over as humiliation crashed over me in a wave.

"Your mother and I have had enough of your nonsense," he said, cold as stone, 

"You bring nothing but shame to this pack. You can't fight, you can't work, and now you run off like some kind of spoiled child. You're a bloody embarrassment, Eleanor.".

I stared back at him, my eyes welling up in tears, but I refused to let them spill. Not here. Not in front of all these people.

Standing next to him was my stepmother, smiling in contentment. 

She loved those moments when she watched me getting torn down, and humiliated.

“Don't just stand there," she sneered. 

"Apologize to your father. Apologize to all of us for being such a burden."

I just could not stand it anymore. The hate, the loathing, the incessant cruelty- too much to bear my head sank into my waiting hands as finally the dam broke.". 

“I'm sorry," I whispered, shaking. "I'm so sorry."

But it would never have been enough, it is never going to be enough.

Sitting there, shaking with sobs, feeling broken and humiliated, for goodness' sake, for everybody to see. I am just nineteen years old for crying out loud. I should be loved, taken care of, and protected, but I haven't gotten anything but hate, humiliation, and pain.

Then the picture of my mother came - the woman I had never known, the woman who gave her life for me to come into the world. I was all she had. The part that is left of her.

I could not do it.

"Get up, get up,” my stepmother spat, grabbing on my arm and pulling onto the soles.

“Just quit being a scene.". She muttered

I trailed after her, the fingernails of her talon-like fingers digging deep into my arm as she dragged me away from the crowd.

When they were out of earshot, she wheeled on me, her eyes blazing bright.

"Do you think this is funny?" she returned. "Crying like that in front of everybody, making me look like a bad mother?"

"I-I wasn't-

"Liar to me," she snarled. "You are just like your mother, pathetic and desperate for attention."

That wasn't all.

"Do you think your pretty face is going to save you?" she jeered. "Is that why you ran off? To seduce some poor fool into pitying you?"

I stared at her, horrified, but she only laughed, the cold, bitter sound of it.

"Well, it won't work," she said. "Now get to the kitchen and wash the dishes. All of them. And if I hear one complaint, I'll tell your father you insulted me. Do you understand?"

I nodded, my throat too tight to speak.

"Good," she said, turning on her heel and walking away.

Left to myself, my eyes fell on the heap of dirty plates in the kitchen. My hand shook, reaching for the first plate; tears oozed out.