Chapter 3

Natalia:

Everything smelled like roses and rot.

While everyone was enjoying themselves, I found myself walking towards a path that I did not want to take. I found myself dealing with anger that I did not want to feel.

Every step down the aisle felt like walking into a cage. The heavy organ music swelled around us, but all I could hear was the crunch of gravel from earlier, the sound of my own breath when I almost…

“Keep walking,” my father muttered, his arm like iron beneath my hand. “And put a smile on your face. People are watching.”

I didn’t respond. I gave the perfect smile that he wanted to say, the same smile that I've been learning how to perfect since I was twelve. The kind that looked obedient. Silent. Safe. The kind that would show them who I was, what I was to their liking, to their appeal and pressing them.

His grip tightened. “You will not humiliate me today. I will not allow you to cross a boundary that you should not. I have given you more excuses at home, but now this is the real deal and I'm not going to allow you to ruin things.”

What if I just jumped? It would have been easier. Had he not been there, I would have been gone.

That thought alone played in my mind, but I did my best not to show it on my face as I kept walking.

The aisle stretched endlessly before us, decorated in silk ribbons and hollow promises. All eyes were on me, pack leaders, council members, enemies dressed in suits. Everyone waiting to see if the fragile little bride would crack. Everyone waiting to see the perfect girl break under the pressure of their gazes. But I knew better than to give them that my father would have my head if I did.

“You know what’s at stake, I will not allow you to ruin something that has been set for a long time.” my father continued, under his breath. “Don’t pretend you don’t. You don’t want a war, do you? You don't want to embarrass your family, do you? And I think that you don't want anyone that you love getting hurt, and that includes your mother.”

I didn’t answer.

I knew that he did not care, Not about me, not about mother, not about anyone else. I did not even understand how she lived with him throughout all this time, but this was what it was to be me, to be her, to be raised, to be obedient, to stand for a man, to do everything for you while you just obeyed.

But when my eyes found him, I almost froze.

The same man who stood there…

He stood at the end of the aisle, beneath a silver arch of twisted branches and moonflowers, his face carved from stone. Dark hair, darker eyes. A black suit tailored like armor.

The man from the bridge.

The man who gave me a speech about being dramatic.

The man who did not even care to follow me, to ask what was going on, what led me to doing this… he thought that I was being cinematic.

Now he was waiting for me to walk to him. To marry him.

This was the man that I was going to marry. This cold man who lit a cigarette when he saw a woman being in distress. He was the man that I was going to be with…?

My stomach twisted. I wanted to back away. And I knew that my father sensed it as he tightened his grip around me. I forced myself not to flinch.

“You will behave, I will not have it otherwise.” my father said again, voice colder now. “You will say your vows. You will not speak of what you don’t understand. You will not break the rules, you will not cross him and more importantly, you are not embarrassed Me. You were trained to be a woman and you're going to act like one. I do not tolerate failures. And you're not going to be the first one. It's bad enough that you were born a girl. And even worse that it is because of you that your mother could not have a child. I do not think that you need to embarrass me anymore.”

My heels scraped against the marble as I stepped forward. My dress trailed behind me like a ghost I couldn’t shake. His words played in my mind like a slap in the face. But I kept walking.

Nolan didn’t move. He didn’t smile. Didn’t blink.

He just watched me.

And all I could think about was the cigarette smoke curling from his fingers, the way he told me I’d drown ugly, the way he didn't seem surprised that I wanted to disappear.

He knew. He knew who I was and he knew that I did not want this marriage, and yet he was here.

I took one more step. Then another. My fingers were ice. My throat burned.

This wasn’t a wedding. This was war dressed in white.

This was my death warrant signed with a golden pen.

“Hello, wife or is it a little too early for that…?”