Alpha's Regret After I Died

Liz’s POV

Every bump in the road jolted my bruised body as the van barreled forward through winding backroads. My cheek was pressed against the cold metal floor, and all I could hear was the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears and the muffled growl of the engine.

My lungs burned with every breath. Panic clawed at my throat, threatening to choke me. I had no idea where he was taking me, just that I had to get out. I had to survive.

"Please save me, Lumian," I begged through the bond, my mental voice shaking with fear. My mate, my Alpha. He would come. He had to. I closed my eyes, clinging to the connection, hoping, praying he could feel my fear.

The bond flared to life, but instead of the warmth and concern I’d hoped for, a wave of cold irritation flooded back.

“Liz, stop acting up. I’ll be home tonight.”

My heart dropped. Acting up? I was in a stranger’s van, bleeding and terrified. Why did my mate think I would lie about something like this?

My body ached. Every bruise screamed as the van hit another bump. I was so scared I could hardly breathe. My lips trembled as I tried to speak through the bond again.

“No, Lumian, listen! I’ve been kidnapped—there’s a murderer, I don’t know who he is—”

“You’ve annoyed me enough with your tricks, Liz.”

I blinked back tears. This isn’t a trick. Please, Lumian. It’s not only about me. “Please, Lumian, I truly need help—”

But it was too late. He severed the connection. He left me alone.

The hollow silence that followed was worse than the fear. My breath came out in silent gasps, and my chest tightened until it hurt. He had blocked me out. My mate had blocked me out.

Tears streamed down my face, and I lay there silent, desperate, the panic in my chest twisting tighter with every breath.

I tried again and again to connect with Lumian. But he didn’t reply. Not once.

If only he had a little worry for me. If only he had a little trust in me. He would come.

But he didn’t.

I swallowed the sob that threatened to come out and forced myself to be strong. I had to focus. I had to survive. I could depend on myself. I needed to be strong.

I began to take in my surroundings, searching for anything, any chance to escape. My eyes caught a curve in the road up ahead, trees thick and dense outside the window. I didn’t think. I acted.

I kicked out with every ounce of strength I had left, smashing at the side door until it jolted open mid-turn. The man swore and reached back, but I threw myself out of the moving van before he could get his hands on me.

Pain exploded through my body as I hit the ground, rolling hard and fast over dirt, rocks, and roots. My shoulder cracked painfully. Blood filled my mouth. My vision spun.

But I was out.

I forced myself to my feet, staggering into the woods. My legs barely worked, but I pushed forward. The forest swallowed me whole as I ran, branches slicing across my skin, my breath hitching in ragged sobs.

I could still hear the van screeching to a stop somewhere behind me. The chase had begun. "Please, Lumian… help me…"

But there was still no answer.

I could feel him, whoever he was, getting closer. I turned, trying to hide, trying to.

Too late.

A flash of movement. A blade. Pain, sharp and merciless, plunged into my chest. My knees buckled from underneath me. I dropped to the ground, breathless, gasping.

Blood soaked my shirt. My vision dimmed. “Lumian…” I whispered, reaching out one last time.

But darkness swallowed me whole.

It seemed like a long time had passed, yet it seemed like only a moment had passed.

White light. Blinding. Then, sterile walls.

I blinked, disoriented. My body didn’t hurt. Was I alive? Did Lumian come and save me? Then I saw him.

Lumian.

He was by a hospital bed—not mine. No—Judy’s. The former Beta’s daughter and Lumian’s childhood sweetheart. Her golden hair shimmered against the pillow as she leaned into him, her voice soft and full of affection.

The tenderness in his eyes knocked the air out of me. He had never looked at me like that. Not once. I had spent years at his side, filling every role, quieting my own needs, hoping that one day he'd choose me not just because of the mate bond but because he wanted me. But seeing him now, the way his fingers brushed Judy’s arm, the way his gaze lingered on her like she was the only thing that mattered in the world, it shattered something inside me.

I stepped forward instinctively, desperate to feel the bond between us, reaching for his arm, but my hand passed right through him. Cold gripped me. My fingers shook.

The realisation sank in like ice. I might be dead. The thought pressed against my chest like a crushing weight, stealing the breath I no longer had. Was this what it felt like—death? This aching void, this numb silence, this cruel clarity that I was no longer part of the world I had fought so hard to stay in?

I wasn’t ready. I had fought. I had begged. I didn’t want to go like this, not alone, not hated, not misunderstood. And yet, here I was, stuck between life and whatever came next, watching the man I loved comfort someone else while I faded into nothing.

“No…”

I tried to speak to him. "Lumian, please, you have to be able to feel me,". I tried to cry. But nothing reached him. It was like acting out a one-woman show with no audience.

And somewhere deep inside, I knew I had died without ever being heard.

“Judy, how are you feeling?” Lumian asked gently. The sound of his voice held a softness I had begged for during our three years together.

“I’m getting stronger every day, thanks to you. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she said, her eyes warm with adoration.

My heart felt as though, at any second, it would shatter into a million pieces.

Everything I had done to be a good Luna, to be his mate, meant nothing.  

I had died calling for him. And he was here smiling, comforting another woman.

His first love.

The one he never stopped loving.

He would rather believe that this was a trick of mine than spare any energy to think about the fear and terror in my words.

“I need to head home. It’s late,” he said, though there was a trace of reluctance in his voice. My dead heart fluttered.

“Stay, please. Just a while longer,” Judy murmured.

He smiled and leaned in, brushing a kiss to her forehead. “Tomorrow. I promise.”

That kiss tore something open in me. I had begged for scraps of affection. And she received it so easily.

I stood there, invisible and broken, watching the man who was supposed to be mine. Our fated bond meant nothing to him; instead, his heart still cradled his childhood sweetheart.

A sob ripped through me, soundless, helpless.

“Why, Lumian?” I whispered into the silence, my voice drifting through the air like ash. But no one answered.

No one ever would.