Settling In

"Mister Saint, thanks for coming... can you just give me five minutes to talk to my son?" My dad asks. The guy blinks, looking confused for another second, then he nods and takes a step back. I wait for him to look at me and acknowledge his asshole behavior, say sorry or something... but he doesn't. He just walks away. My dad shuts the door and turns to me, "Now sit down and tell me what has you all worked up."

"What has me worked up?! I'm telling you my girl cheated on me with your partner's son and then that tall asshole out there throws me to the ground and acts like I was the one who did something wrong!" I let out, taking a big breath and when I'm done I throw myself on one of the chairs in front of his desk, "God is against me."

"No, he's not. God's too busy for us. And a whore's gonna whore," my dad lets out with a dismissive gesture, sitting down on his leather chair again, "What I need to know what's the deal with this... fashion... hair style. Is it a cry for help?"

"No, I just thought it would look cool, but I left it for way too long so it's a little brighter than I wanted," I murmur, lifting a hand to my hair, feeling self-conscious, "It'll look good once I wash it."

"You said that about the white hair," he makes a displeased face before smiling, "I'll have a word with Jacob, yeah? We’ll make sure Dylan apologizes to you."

"No, dad, I don't want an apology. I want to fuck him over. I want to show him I'm not to be messed with," I growl with determination because I already made my decision and nothing is going to change my mind, "I decided I will take over this shit. The business. You'll retire and have a peaceful life in Athens while I deal with everything."

My dad frowns as he listens to me but a couple seconds later he starts to laugh. Hard.

"Birdie boy, you’re so funny," he laughs some more, “I'm not in this position because I want to be. Being here, doing what I do, is absolute hell. But the only thing I want even less than me being here is you being here. I need to protect both of us and keep everything afloat for just a little bit longer, then I will end it. And we’ll both move to Athens together.”

"I don't believe you anymore, you’ve been saying that for years. Your dad gave you this business because his dad gave it to him. Now it's my turn. Give it," I demand, he only laughs, "I'm being dead serious."

"Oh, really?" He asks, lifting an eyebrow, "Do you even know what I do?"

"What DO you do at this point, Dad? You pay the lab team to make the drugs and then you pay the street team to sell them. You pay the ship team to ship stuff, you pay the kill team to kill... and then you collect the money," I say and shrug, my dad is laughing like I'm the funniest person alive, "Am I wrong?"

"Yes, you're absolutely wrong. I have to do a lot more than that, all while making sure I don't get fucking killed and then I have to care about you too," he says. I roll my eyes, "You know better than anyone how awful this is. I'm a prisoner, Birdie.”

So am I.

"I'm trying to release you," I say, but my dad shakes his head, "I hate it too, but it's my destiny to get my life sucked into the business. I want you to be free, Dad."

"Well, I want both of us to be free," he says. And it's always the same, time and time again, we talk about leaving this place, him ending the business, finally being free and happy... but it never happens, "You don't even know how to deal with people, Birdie. You're too wired up all the time, your paranoid personality would get you killed in two days. I know when to be the people pleaser and when to be the villain, I've learned this shit through the years. My father actually wanted me to be his successor, so he had me around this shit twenty-four-seven. I kept you and your sister away for a reason..."

"And see how that turned out, dad? She's still dead. And you're still working here. And I'm still... me," I let out with a grimace, "Something has to give. And I want to prove Dylan he's wrong, I want him to be scared of me."

"We can't get in trouble with the Satori, Eros," he says, serious this time, "Jacob is not my friend and I do not trust him, but we need each other. And his son is a fundamental piece..."

"Because his dad allowed him to be fundamental! And that's why he makes fun of me, because you don't allow me to do shit!" I growl, "And that's why he fucked my girlfriend. Just let me be the boss, Dad. Please."

"No."

"Please," I repeat, "I want it."

"Absolutely not," he repeats. I growl and lift my hands to my stupid pink hair. I shouldn't have dyed it, "Is it because I like to have colored hair? Because I get anxious? Because I wouldn't kill anyone?"

"Yes. To all of it," my dad responds. I breathe out, "But most importantly... because I love you too much. You are all I have. I won't put you in danger only because some guy fucked your gold-digging whore. There's plenty of those around, my boy, you'll get yourself another one."

I cross my arms and look away... but then I realize I'm acting like a literal baby, so I stop. I sit up better.

"You know what my therapist said?" I ask, my dad sighs in annoyance. He hates that I go to therapy. In his world, men just deal with their shit on their own, "He said you don't allow me to grow up. You have me in this perpetual child mentality... the only way to fix it is you treating me like the man I am. A man, dad. A grown man."

"And what does a grown man do, Eros? He takes on his father business, only to be put in danger every fucking day? No. I got this curse and I will die with it before I pass it onto you," he states. Of course, "But... I get what you're saying. I guess I haven't allowed you to... get a job. Do man things."

"Exactly," I nod, happy that he gets it, "You over-protect me to an unhealthy level. In my head, if you give me the business... that's going to scare me into taking that step and finally maturing and becoming a man. Like when you taught me to swim, remember? You threw me to the pool because I was too scared to go in myself. I almost die, but my instincts kicked in and I started swimming."

My dad crosses his arms and thinks about it. For real this time.