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10. Lincoln
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Always 11. Bryanna
“And then he was grabing my hair. And ... and ... he cupped my face. He kissed my jaw, my ear, my neck. I lose my grip in reality because of his touch. Oh ... my ... God.” I suddenly sit up. “We kissed in the middle of Gonner's crowded dance floor. I can’t believe I did that!"My Korean face mask plops down on my lap like a used wet tissue because of my sudden movement. I pick it up and resume my position beside Mo, mindlessly putting the mask back on my face again. It’s okay, five minutes rule apply to face mask too.I continue my story. “But that kiss, that kiss, Mo ... hands down. It was the. Best. Kiss. I’ve. Ever. Had. In. My. Life! It’s like he took some classes for mastering the artrt of kissing somewhere. Or maybe he was just had a lot, I mean, practice. But, I don’t care. I was the one he was kissing last night. I hope I will be the one in the future too,” I describe everything that happened last night until I am out of breath and out off my mind thinking about Nate’s lips on
Always 12. Bryanna
I hope to heaven my Lyft will be the only thing canceled this afternoon. I order a new one and enter Adrian’s address. Then I can’t call Nate’s number fast enough. Looking at the clock on the screen, I see it’s just three twenty nine. He shouldn’t be on his way to Stewart’s right now.Fingers crossed I don’t have to let my kiss go. Please, please, please, pick up, pick up, my heart chants as the call connects. Nate picks on the third ring. “Bryanna?”“Yes, it’s Bryanna,” I confirm. Who would have thought answering a phone call with question will be a trend today? “Eh, sorry.” He chuckles. “I didn’t expect your call.”“Yeah, me too.” I curse Adrian in my mind. “But my brother just called. He went out of the country and asked me to dogwatch. So ....” I trail off, not sure how to say what’s on my mind.“So what, Beautiful?”“Hm, so ... if you don’t mind, would you like to come to his apartment instead of meeting me atStewart’s? I have to stay there because my building didn’t allow pet.
Always 13. Bryanna
Detaching his lips, Nate says, “I waited all day to do that.”“Yeah?” My voice is hoarse from the kiss.He kisses me again as an answer.We do this for awhile, a long while, and I still could do it longer if not for the fact that we need to breathe. Drawing out, I inhale deeply before starting another round. Kissing him is officially my number one favorite activity to do right now.I can feel his lips twitch with his usual cocky smirk and taste the satisfaction in his tongue. He likes the way I reacted to his kiss. He likes it that I like his touch. “Nate,” I moan his name.He chuckles. “What do you want, Beautiful?” He asks on my lips.I want you. I want you so bad. I want you, like, yesterday. But, I couldn’t say that out loud. I recall one of Morwenna’s advice she deemed is the keys to a successful dating. ‘Push and pull, Bry. Know when to push and how to pull. The art of this push and pull is what will lure him. And remember, don’t show all your cards.’Well, it’s too late to hide
Always 14. Lincoln
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I roar. I fucking roar like a lion at the scene in front of me. My blood is boiling. My heart feels like it would bursts out of my fucking chest. I can’t even, fuck! Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck!I clench my fists so damn hard I’m sure it’ll bleed soon if they don’t fucking stop. They should have stopped, like five seconds ago. Or, my fisted hands won’t be the only thing bleeding ....That fucking asshole is shirtless, hovering above Bryanna while he fucking devours her like a starving mad man. His lips on hers, his hands, fuck, I don’t want to think about where his hand was, still is, but ...."Fuck!"My booming voice finally, fucking finally, stops them and prevents them from mauling each other any further. He looks up, as Bryanna turns her head so she can see me standing here fucking fuming. “Lincoln, what are you doing here?” she rasps, wide-eyed, scrambling to sit and fix her half ridden shirt.I look at her and catalogue her state: tousled hair, flushed
Always 15. Lincoln
So, some of you might say that I’m a fool. Others might think I’m crazy. You know what? I think of myself as both: I am a fool and I am crazy.I am a fool to be in love with a girl who not only didn’t know I love her, but also pretty much on the way of loving someone else. I am crazy to keep pining on her eventhough this feeling is most likely never to be reciprocated.In his song, Mokita said he needed to know that he didn’t fall in love alone this time. Well, whoever you are, tell him a good luck from me. Because, here, I already know that I’ve fallen in love alone, all this time.I knew it and I couldn’t stop.I knew why and I won't stop.That’s the thing about love.It didn’t have a switch. You love when you love. You can’t turn it on, or off, anytime you want. Or, in my case, when I discovered that there’d be no love between us, as she said to my face.Sad? Yes.Pathetic? Absolutely.But, what can I say? What can I do? Nothing.Beside ....“Wanna play truth or dare, Je?” I ask the
Always 16. Bryanna
To say last night was perfect is an understatement. To say it was ruined is another understatement. Because we’re talking about two different elements here, you know, two determining persons; Nate and Lincoln.Nate made it perfect because, hello, his kiss. And his presence. He made my heart flutters. He woke the butterflies in my belly and sent me flying high. Despite all, I have to lock Jerry in my room and I felt guilty about it. I still am.Meanwhile, Lincoln, well, his timing sucked like nothing else. Why did he have to arrive in the middle of the most amazing moment of my life? He made the situation freaking awkward for a while there. But ... if I have to admit something to myself, Jerry is in the best hand now. Lincoln took care of him as best as Adrian, if not better. You can say that they make co-parenting look so easy. Jerry is well-loved thanks to them.Ugh.After they left, Nate said he was no longer hungry so he ended up bringing the pizza home at my insistence. Soon, I was
Always 17. Bryanna
Nope, no, no, no. Not gonna happen.“What do you mean? Why should I ask for that asshole forgiveness?” I bombard my brother with questions. I soooo do not understand his line of thinking. What did I do? When did I do him wrong?To Lincoln of all people?My brother is getting crazy.“Just do it, Bry. Ask him,” he replies—which doesn’t answer any of my questions—with no elaboration which confusing me and it makes my ire go higher. And I really don’t want to go off on him so soon after I asked for his forgiveness.But, I said I want to be better. I shouldn’t be angry right now. God, change is so. Damn. Difficult.“I wish I could, but it’s not my story to tell,” Adrian continues without knowing my internal turbulence. “Sometimes we hurt people without realizing we were hurting them.”What the hell is he talking about? Come on, Bry, you’re changing for the better, remember? Deep inhale, hold it. One, two, three. Let it go. Good. Feel yourself getting calmer. Feel your anger leaving with ev
Always 18. Bryanna
“I think Tom will propose,” she blurts out when we are sitting side to side on her bedroom floor to literally transfer those new things into her suitcases, tags and all be damned.“Wait, what?” I faux-gasp and then roll my eyes. Come on, it is like, duh! “Of course, he will. He’s insane if he won’t,” I tell my best friend ...... who is fishing for more assurance when she asks, “Really?”“Really, Mo,” I emphasize, still folding a Balenciaga shirt that had cost her an arm. “You’re gorgeous. You’re fun, you’re talented. You’re good at what you did. And most importantly, you’re the best friend a girl could ask for. He will be lucky to have you for the rest of his life.”Unluckily, for me, that sentence bring my thought to a certain conversation about a certain man that I wouldn’t think of in a certain way.Nu-uh. Tris was wrong. No way in hell I want to be with that giant grump.No. Fucking. Way.Morwenna lets out a happy sigh. I am back to the now again. “Thank you.” She gives me the tig
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