An Omega's Agonizing Journey to Love

Diana's POV

I am Diana Sinclair, eighteen years old - okay not quite but I shall be in a few days. I am crushing on the Alpha of my pack and I am not ashamed to admit it, at least to myself. I have loved him since I was little. He was a god to me. I am an Omega, but so what? What laws says Omega's cannot love Alpha's and be loved back by them in return?

None, right? That is what I thought. My mother does not think so. She feels that I have no right to want what can never be mine.How she came to such a foolish conclusion, I cannot fathom. But I shall get back to that in a moment.

I always thought that I had it all, my mother's love, a happy childhood, though that is marred by the memory of how my father, Adam Sinclair, died. But at least I still had a mother who loved me and I was ready to face anything with her by my side.

"Diana?"

"Diana!!"

I jerked upright, blinking rapidly.

"Were you day dreaming again?" Amanda asked, smiling knowingly.

I shrugged noncommittally, but the truth was that I was actually fantasizing about Alpha Ray, my crush.

Amanda had been so talking to me about her hopes of getting mated to Alfred Carter, one of the warrior's of the pack, as we did the laundry.

"If I am so blessed to be mated to Alfred, I shall live out the rest of my days in joy and pleasure", she said and that had been all it took to transport me to the land of fantasy where I imagined, Alpha Ray chasing me round an open field. Laughter filling the air as I ran around, enjoying the chase and then allowing myself to be caught as I fall into his arms and feel his lips descend on mine with agonizing deliberateness, causing the ache for his touch and kiss to increase. Then our lips finally meets and we could not help ourselves as we kiss like our lives depended on it.

He breaks of the kiss, pressing his forehead on mine and whispers, "I love you so much. And I need you so much it hurts. Can you feel how much I need you?" he continued in that husky whisper that set my blood on fire for him.

"Yes", I whispered. "Oh yes. And the feeling is mutual". I wanted him to go ahead and kiss me. His kisses were molten coal and I wanted more.

"I am glad to hear you admit that, though I can tell you are wet for me", he smiled at me and I felt my knees go weak.

"Then why waste time talking?" I whispered, wanting, needing what I could not really understand. All I knew was that I wanted it. I had heard whispers in the Omega quarters. The older Omega could never keep their mouths shut as they chatted excitedly amongst themselves about their exploits. They didn't like us, the younger Omega's overhearing them but we could not help but overhear them sometimes.

Right now, though, I was experiencing an ache that was increasingly becoming unbearable as the Alpha took me into his arms again, and make me want what I could not exactly understand.

"You will be the death of me", he whispered as he deepened the kiss, lying me flat in the grass and allowing his lips to trail kisses down my body. I was trembling with pleasure, wanting him to continue when I heard my name being called. I didn't want to answer. What I was feeling was too precious to be cut short. But the voice continued calling and I had no choice but be jerked out of my dream land.

"Do you think we could have the fortune of being mated and accepted by the wolves we desire?" she asked.

"Of course, why not?" I asked. I was ever the optimistic romantic. "I have seen the way Alfred looks at you and his smile is always for you". This brought a dazzling smile to Amanda's lips like I knew it would. There were many female wolves who wanted Alfred but I was sure he was going to end up being my friend, Amanda's, because she was my friend. And being my friend means that she deserved the best. And against my mother's warnings, I knew, Alpha Ray would be mine as well.

"What happens if we are not mated to them?" Ananda asked as she squeezed water dry from the cloth she was washing.

I narrowed my eyes, deep in thought. That had not occured to me. How was it possible that Alpha Ray would not want me? Without being vain, I knew I was very beautiful. I had seen how most of the wolves looked at me but I only have eyes for Alpha Ray. All of the Omegas had laughed at me about it and I had kept quiet, not wanting to do incur their wrath, especially those of the older Omegas. They wanted Alpha Ray as well but they knew he was way out of their league and why not, he was going to be mine, and mine only. So when they taunt me because of the way they awe my eyes following Alpha Ray whenever he was around, I keep quiet. I only share my dreams of being Alpha Ray's Luna with Amanda. She was the only person who understood my feelings for our Alpha and never mocks me for it.

"It is not possible, Ananda", I answered in a harsh whisper. "How can you even say that?"

"Don't you think it possible that the men we love might be mated to other female wolves or that they may not want us even if they are mated to us?" she asked, and I could see the doubt in her eyes and the uncertainty seeping from her voice.

"We have to believe that the Moon Goddess would grant our desire and that it is a going to go well. Have you ever heard of anyone being able to resist the mate bond?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Exactly!" I continued. "Our prayer is that we be mated to them. Once we are, they have no option but to honour the bond!"

Later, I thought about this and I saw in hindsight, how naive I had been.