Aurora: Breaking Illusions

Life in itself can be such a rigmarole. Everyone has a turning point. An experience that could change the course of your entire life can happen in a split second and most of the time, there is nothing you can do about it. You just sit and watch because struggling against the tide might drown you.Whenever I get to look back at what my life was and all the lessons it had taught me, I can only let out a sigh of exhaustion and exasperation. Why do some people seem luckier than others?I was a young, naive twenty year old who had no direction, living with old money parents who believe everything is a transaction - even marriage. One very fateful morning, a business associate of my parents came to visit. I was carefree, having a good laugh with my helps in the garden as they tended to my hair - the luscious waves that were the only thing I could be proud of when it came to my physical attributes. My father had one of his guards come to alert me of our visitors. I got on my feet and follow

"He did what? He's an asshole." River said furiously when I told her about how dinner went the previous night."I agree." I said. "But then it's not his fault."She shook her head vehemently, "Oh no, you're not going to blame yourself for being set up to marry a disrespectful jerk.""Maybe I'm being set up and forced on him because no one really wants to marry me." I muttered sadly."Aurora trust me, you are so beautiful, men would topple over each other for you. You just don't get out enough." River always said this. Sometimes I believed her, other times I didn't.Being a homebody meant me not wanting to go out even if I had a chance to. In my case however, I did not get a chance to."There's no point now." I was slowly resigning to fate. "Ohh," she tsked. "It's going to be alright." She came around and hugged me.I nodded. I did not actually believe that but River liked to be positive and I just wanted to avoid another pep talk. "He's kinda cute though." She said cheekily. Of cour

Our wedding night was a disaster. I had waited and waited for Leo in our 'matrimonial' bedroom, draped in a robe covering the scandalous lingerie my mother had picked up for me. I sat there, fidgeting the moment he walked in. How was I supposed to seduce a godlike man in such an unattractive body? How was he supposed to even want me when I looked like a sack of potatoes?Low self esteem you might think but I had to tell myself the truth that this was a futile attempt and there was no point in trying. "I'm not going to touch you. Don't even think about it cause it's never going to happen." He said, straight to the point."I don't want this either," I said as a tear escaped my right eye. I knew he was going to say that so I did not understand why that tear had to betray me."Good.""But-" I tried to say something but of course, he cut me off."There's no discussing this Aurora. Let's not force things." "Good night then," I laid on my side, back turned away from him. "Night."Maybe

"Hey Riv," I smiled tiredly into the phone, picking up after the third ring.Her smile faded as soon as she saw mine, "Why do you look so worn out?" "I just had so much unpacking to do." I lied."Unpacking? The Aurora I know would do it immediately. It's been days. Or is it the honeymoon?" She wiggled her brows suggestively at the last sentence.I chuckled, "There's no honeymoon." The truth is my mother in-law had given me a never-ending chore to clean up a dusty basement because in her opinion I wanted to busy myself so bad. I could not tell River that."Why not?" "Leo has some things to work on." I said. Leo, the same person I had hardly had a conversation with. She huffed, "I don't think I'm convinced. Is he treating you right?" I was reluctant to answer that. Was he treating me badly? Not exactly, he only was not talking to me, never smiled when I was in the room and sometimes ignored me when I spoke. That's not so bad right? I was being delusional with my thought process.

Leah was actually such a breath of fresh air. She eased me into a fluid and fun conversation. Even when I went quiet, she found a way to bring me back in.We talked until breakfast. I headed back to my room afterwards. But before lunch she was back at my door and we were talking again. I showed her my sketchbook without even realizing it."Your sketches are so pretty. Why haven't you started working on them?" She looked so amazed, you'd think Picasso showed her one of his masterpieces."I don't know..." I shrugged.How was I supposed to tell her that I was not sure if I was allowed to work? It had never been mentioned. No one seemed to be concerned about it and I did not know how to ask."You have a degree in fashion?" She asked me when she saw the photos on my social media page."Yes I do." I nod, picking at the hems of my shirt, wishing for my sewing kit that was all the way upstairs so I could fix it up."So you're free to practice..." It sounded more like a conclusion than a quest