“Thank you, Rema Santo.” Radar is curt, a little too quick with his response as his cheekbones color further and turns with an almost relieved exhale as Colton passes him with a pat on the shoulder to tell him to move.
They leave with him pulling the door closed behind them so we can eat in peace and not even a glance in our direction as they disappear between the crack. I glance to her crestfallen face as she goes back to her food, not the first time I’ve seen the slight disappointment in her brief interactions with her ex-guard and this time I can’t hold my tongue.“You like him, don’t you?” I smile encouragingly as Sierra’s face flames crimson and she drops her fork with clumsy fingers.“I ..umm, am grateful…he was my Ummm. No, I can’t. I mean, no, I do…of course, I do. He’s truly awesome as a male, wolf, guard, type, sort of guy, um young man. Not that young, I mean almost my age young, Ughhh………. I owe him my life. It’s just…. He’s very….. aloof. For a guy who used to shadow me and make me feel safe.” Her blushing goes all the way to her roots, and I grin wider. Knowing that fumbling awkward self-war only too well. Breathless, tongue tied, fidgeting insanely with her plate and fork and unable to look me in the eye at all. The little warm spread through my heart tells me I hit the nail on the head.“So, that’s a yes then? …. He’s never mated up. No lovers, no girlfriends. Totally single. I think he’s maybe just shy and you intimidate him.” I shrug, not even going to pretend she doesn’t like him. For months now she acts like this nervous virgin type whenever he shows up, and he is hopelessly stiff, curt, unable to formulate any kind of conversation at all and leaves as quickly as he can. I already know Radar likes her and it wouldn’t be wholly awful to see the Rema have even some happiness. Even if neither physically acted it out, just became friends or something. Maybe she wouldn’t be so sad.“My bond to that……… I can’t do anything, with any male. There’s no point leading on anyone, with no chance of a future. Radar deserves a nice femme with no complications. He’s loyal, sweet, stable, and completely efficient in terms of protection. I would still have him as my guard should I ever leave this house.” She turns away and stares out of the window listlessly, a little crestfallen, eyes misting with emotion, but it only sparks a little twinkle in my mind.“I think as Luna, I believe my Mother-in-law, the Rema of this pack, needs her own guards still. Even if it’s to sit out in the sun and play cards. I’m sure Radar wouldn’t object to picking up where he left off a decade ago.”“Don’t. I know you mean well, but Juan will never let me go, and this bond will only make everyone miserable if I allow myself to get close to another in any kind of way.” The defeat in her tone silences me and I know this is futile. Six months of life here, three of those seeing her well enough to interact in the pack and she still chooses to be solitary, separate, and push away all other relationships outside of Colton and I. Sierra is punishing herself for things she couldn’t stop and letting herself wither away in this room at the top of the west wing. I exhale in defeat and sadness for her. My heart aching that she of all people deserve happiness and the fates have abandoned her.Juan can go jump in a lake for all I care. In the last months we have had little communication with the mountain at all. There has been an occasional hemorrhage of runways head this way to find sanctuary within our walls and we know Juan is only biding his time while he figures out what to do about us. We don’t give him opportunity. We never stray outside our land and focus on just living our lives. Maybe it’s because of that he’s stayed away and left us be, because maybe he thinks the prophecy was wrong and the only rising I’m about to do has already been done in creating our small homestead pack and our new life away from the shadow of our mountain. He’s focused on rallying his army to get ready for the vampires and war and we seem to have fallen off his radar for the time being. I haven’t forgotten though. My family perished at his hands, and I won’t let that grudge ever die. One day we will have our moment.I pull my mind back to the here and now. Realizing Sierra has stood up and wandered to her balcony window to gaze out as the rain begins to fall and dims down the bright sun which woke us this morning. It’s soft today, overcast now with threats of a rainy day and a little colder, but pleasant. Perfect weather for staying inside and working on some of the details for the schoolhouse.“Do you really think Colton’s dream is just his eternal stress finding a way to vent?” I ask her, knowing that she would never lie to me, especially not while alone like this. Sierra and I have built a bond these past months, almost like mother and daughter in a way. I never knew how much I needed it until Sierra woke up so many months ago and showed me what it was like to have a mom again.“The mind is a complex and often frustrating tool and being a seer is not always what it’s cracked up to be.” there’s distance in her tone and I frown at her response.“Do you ever regret the path you took based on your own visions?” I’ve always wondered but never felt it appropriate to ask. She sacrificed so much for my life, and I wonder if she had it to do over would she choose to not see the truth and live in blissful ignorance with her mate and son instead of losing ten years of their lives. She stops for a moment, still as a statue and I can see her mind turning over as she really think through my question. Her emotions stabilize and her mood brightens to an almost steel like calm.“No. I can’t say I do. I regret leaving my child to cope alone for so long, but he wouldn’t be the man he is now, he wouldn’t have the happiness he found in you if I hadn’t. I would rather live a lonely existence of truth, without that monster as my mate, than ignorance and fake happiness and the demise of these people. Nothing about our bond was true…. It was orchestrated from the second he laid eyes on me. I don’t regret what I did, only that I didn’t do it better and that I left myself no way to be the one to put a knife in that monster’s heart.” She turns boldly, a hint of fierce in her eye and I nod, knowing her one desire in life is to see Juan fall.Adoring this woman who means so much to me now, in my life, I can’t believe I spent my entire existence oblivious to her importance for so long. I knew she means every word and it’s not the first time she has uttered a wish to be the ending blow to her mate. She has told Colton many times that if she hadn’t bound us together for eternity, she would march to that mountain and Juan and end herself for good. A true Luna, putting her people before her own life.“One day. We’ll find a way to free us all. Maybe with magic…. Maybe the fates will figure it out for us. I feel like this isn’t over by a long shot.” I interject to draw her away from thinking about that dark shadow on her heart.“Maybe…. If I could still see the future, that would help, but since I woke up it seems my son is the only one seeing visions now. I feel like my magic is waning the stronger he gets, and I don’t know if it’s meant to. I don’t know what that means.” Her words trail off quietly as she introverts thoughtfully and I gasp at her words, my eyes widening, and I get up to go to her with a sickening lurch in my belly.“Have you told Colton?” This is news to me, the first she has ever mentioned her loss of gift. This is a major thing.“No. I will, I just didn’t want to worry him that something is wrong. Maybe it’s a natural decline of my gifts as my offspring rises. I can’t say I ever remember if my mother’s did, but then maybe daughters are different.” She sighs and shrugs it away as unimportant, but I can’t shift the niggles.“Do you think maybe it’s not that at all, and your sadness, your discontent is somehow marring the gifts? You have so much of a changed life since you woke up. It’s normal to experience some kind of mental backlash at everyone you lost, that’s changed.” I have heard that emotional state can weaken any kind of supernatural gift and it’s a strong possibility.“Perhaps… maybe. I guess time will tell.”I’m deflated by her tone, but I don’t want to dwell on things that seem to upset her. I know she can still use her magic for the time being and I hope we figure it out before she does lose what she has. Sierra’s magic is a gift that should be treasured. It saved us from so much and it would be wrong on all levels to see her lose it.“Are you really not worried about the witches in the woods?” I ask derailing our conversation and heading back to what brought us up here so bright and early this morning. I know to Colton she said she wasn’t, as long as we stay in the boundaries, but my gut says she isn’t being entirely honest.“No, and yet… yes. Witches are a whole other breed, and in my time asleep, I don’t know what changes there have been in the world. There are so many forbidden forms of dark magic that most avoided. I can’t say I know they still do. We should be ever more aware and play it safe, more so than before.” She looks me deadpan in the eye and I nod, a sinking wariness hitting my gut and for the first time since our life began here, I begin to feel afraid.I stroll down the stairs of the main sweeping staircase after I am done eating with Sierra, feeling heavy with everything we talked about. It’s almost noon and the house is eerily quiet, but noises of the busy village outside are filtering through on the now open windows on the light breeze. It’s still raining, but it has promise of a brighter day again and the schoolhouse is getting its first proper use today, now it’s almost complete. No more children in the great hall at all from now on and I squint that way as male wolves begin streaming out of the double doors at the far end of the hall as I step the last tread.It’s where Colton has convened the sentinels from patrol, his best packs, and they have been discussing everything to do with continuing to maintain our peaceful and safe existence. Supply runs, financials, as we still have to bear the weight of our pack, even with severance from the main Santo millions. Luckily Colton had his own inheritanc
“There are children on the mountain who have no choice but to stay. Do they feel safe… are they safe? Or are they just pawns that Juan clings onto in a bid to feel he retains some control and would throw them to the vamps in a heartbeat to instill fear into those left.” I verbalize my frustration knowing fully that Juan never cared in any way for his people. Colton exhales heavily, letting me go as he stretches his arms out behind his head and scrubs his scalp in frustration, letting his breath out loudly as he does so and it’s not hard to tell he’s finding this stressful to talk out. Despite everything that has happened, Colton’s heart still sees his father inside the monster, and it leaves him conflicted anytime we talk about him.“Tell me what to do…. I honestly have no fucking idea. We have a split pack. We have two vulnerable communities. Our priority should be here, but I get what you’re saying…they need us to
Colton is preoccupied most of the day with overseeing the new buildings, checking in with the sentinels on patrol and keeping himself busy. We have fallen into a routine of doing what we need to do separate first thing in the day and gravitating back together by lunch, or after, to do things together. Today was exceptionally busy I guess as I had lunch with Sierra, like we always do, and then checked in on the school and some of the smaller workshops without laying eyes on him once.The wolves have started getting life back on track again. With the kitchens being used as both a mess canteen and a bakery to provide for the village, we have started to bring in some animals to graze on the surrounding lands to fill our meat, egg, and dairy needs, although occasionally vampires kill a few. We have managed to get them within the boundary for nightfall most of the time, but animals like to wander.In the evening the school is used to run arts and crafts workshops, drama, and oth
“I was always going to follow Colton; I was there that day and saw him defeat his dad. I tried to leave with the pack but my mom, she wouldn’t leave with me, and by the time I tried to convince her my dad showed up and put an end to it. My mom isn’t strong, she lives in his shadow, she’s naïve and maybe a little too innocent. I couldn’t leave her with him to be ground down and trampled over. You don’t know how he is.” Her clear, almost husky voice, cracks a little and I blink her way seeing a tiny chink in the confident armor she wears like a shroud.I waiver a little in my coolness when I see that soft warmth in her eyes when talking about her Mom, and yet there’s something raw and almost painful when she says the word Dad. Although the most surprising part is how hard it is to believe someone like Carmen came from someone sweet and feeble. She’s a born bitch. I can’t imagine she came from someone weak.&ldq
‘I’m sorry I ever doubted you as Luna…. as worthy. For everything I said or did. He broke me. I was in pain. It was juvenile and I’m over it.” She states coldly, icily harsh in her tone as though overcompensating for the weakness she showed me moments before. In that flash the old bitchy looking, aloof and haughty Carmen stands in place of the lost and vulnerable soul of seconds before, trivializing her love of my mate once upon a time ago, but this time I see through it.A broken hearted, lonely girl, who lost someone she loved, was left to fend alone in a home she no longer recognized and still harbors a world of agony deep inside. As much as I look back and feel like she once deserved my anger, I don’t think she does anymore. Carmen’s adrift, with no anchor anymore. Her home is gone, her mate went to another, her father’s a betrayer of all she knew and her mother…. slowly slipping away from her as the days pass by. Ther
Tawna“Hey beautiful, how was your morning?” Colton slides up behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulder, kissing me on the back of the head before nuzzling in close and calming all my anxious energy with one touch. My grounding force that enables me to set my worries free and I almost melt into a warm puddle of soft limbs. It’s in these reunion moments I realize how badly I miss him all day when we aren’t together.“Interesting. Carmen sought me out, long story, but I sent your mom to go visit with Tawna a while. She’s not doing so good and we thought it might help. I haven’t had much else to do today except eat, wander the village, be lavished with a ton of gifts I get every time they see me and felt the need to have a nap. I’m so tired today and I have no idea why.” I curl my arms over his and sink back, nestling my head in the crook of his throat and sigh heavily, closing my eyes as I submerge into my own p
Curled in Colton’s arms in bed, my head laid on his chest as I listen to that steady rhythm of his heartbeat, I doze in and out of peaceful and contented slumber. Something keeps waking me when I start to fall deeply, and I can’t seem to put my finger on it. Like a dream or a feeling that’s just out of sight and seems to jump in to haul me back whenever my consciousness drifts away. An unease or a threatening nightmare maybe, it’s definitely a sense of unease and try as I might, I can’t seem to fall into blissful darkness for any length of time. It’s almost dawn and I have barely dozed for more than twenty-minute slots at a time. I’m frustrated and exhausted, yet I can’t seem to rest.Colton however is completely out cold, wrapped up around me protectively, his face buried in my hair as he silently inhales and exhales so peacefully that it at least brings me a sense of calm. In his preferred position of full-frontal body wedged
Vampires did this and left her here in hopes we found her. The blood is fresh, I can smell it, the kill is still warm, and I can still feel the traces of her heat and her scent around me as though her soul still lingers. Feel the ebbing away of her emotions and fears in the air around us because they are still so recent and my gift homes in, tortured by what I can feel. They knew we were looking for her and yet they waited until we were close enough to kill her completely and I don’t understand why.Was this a game to them? It feels like they were luring us out here this far for fun and I look around trying to sense if this might be a trap with so many of our kind out here, but there’s nothing. The vamps have retreated and gone and only the chaos they have caused is left behind in the air around us. No hint or traces that they are close in anyway and not even the feeling of eyes observing.“Meadow… take Carmen and Lorey back to the house. They