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Preface
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2025-07-16 15:07:50To~ my M&M. You were everything to me once. You taught me many things, and I’ll forever be grateful. I miss our conversations. And I hope this finds you one day~
High School. Totally underrated. For years I sat quietly. I’ve dated a few people in my life. But I’ve only had one kiss. I had fallen for my best guy friend. Anthony. Every day we’d eat lunch together. We never shared any classes because I was a junior and he was a senior. Every day, he’d cover my eyes and say to me “guess who?”. We were both nerds. Both book readers. And we were both untouched. We talked often. Hung out after school with our friends. But there was one night that changed everything. My school play. This was the one year he didn’t audition. I begged him to go to see me. So he did. Our director said that since this was an improv and crowd participation play, we’d need to grab audience members for dancing. So when it started I searched for him. And when the time came I walked up to the highest point in the bleachers and offered him my hand. I planted a weak, but shy smile on my face. But the moment he took my hand, the deal was made. We danced. It was beautiful. He held me close. He tucked my hair behind my ears and gave me that dashing smile of his. I was a goner. We started dating soon after that. Everything was perfect. But I wasn’t prepared for the awakening he was going to bring. And it was ravenous. The hunger was unbearable. The need. It consumed my entire being. Undeniable. I had never felt anything like this before. He would be my undoing. Every smile. Every touch. Every kiss. He owned me. He protected me. He was my everything. I wouldn’t ever be prepared for the day that this would go away. I wanted it forever. Forever, with him. He consumed my every waking thought. Every dream. Every breath I took was for him and him alone. He would bring upon me my first everything’s. Well, almost everything. And the raging hormones that I had finally begun to feel would continue to build. Forever thirsty. Forever needing. And only he could quench it. With all of these stirring emotions and feelings I was unable to grasp, I started writing in a diary. Hoping that would lessen the need a little more. Not knowing that it would be used against me to encourage the raging fire within me. The one that burned for him. One’s first love is a special thing. Almost nothing compares to it. Discovering how deeply you can feel about someone. It’s…intoxicating. He was my drug. And I’d overdose. The overwhelming feelings. Heated moments. And the look in his blue eyes…I would be hooked. Barely able to hold on and stay sane, the rollercoaster, the turmoil of my heart couldn’t be controlled. A precious flower, finally blooming. A Lilly. Pure. Innocent. And the symbol of change. Those precious moments will live with me forever. This is my story. And I have no choice but to live with it.
Bab terbaru
Before We Broke Stories Between the Shelves
Lila had always loved bookstores—the way they smelled like old paper and coffee, the quiet, the promise that anything could happen between pages. But today felt different. Maybe it was because Anthony was here. Or maybe because everything in her life had shifted slightly off its axis, in the best possible way.He held the door open for her with a smirk. “Ladies first, angel.”There it was again. That name. Every time he said it, something fluttered behind her ribs like a bird testing its wings. She gave him a playful side glance as she stepped into the shop.“You’ve really committed to that nickname,” she murmured, brushing her hand against a stack of journals by the entrance.He was close behind her, voice low in her ear. “You’ve earned it.”She shivered.The bookstore was quiet—early afternoon light filtered in through wide front windows, casting the shelves in soft gold. The air smelled like cedarwood, espresso, and the faintest hint of vanilla from a candle burning near the regist
Before We Broke The Place Between Breaths
It began in silence.Not the absence of sound, but the kind of silence that hums—like the quiet you feel deep in water or moments before lightning. Lila stood barefoot in a vast field of night, where the stars burned brighter than she’d ever seen and the air pulsed with warmth, heavy with some unnamed promise.She didn’t remember falling asleep. But she knew—instantly, undeniably—that this wasn’t the waking world.She wore something soft. Lighter than silk. A dress? No… not exactly. The fabric clung to her like mist, flowing behind her as she walked. Every movement felt slower, more graceful. Like her body understood something her mind hadn’t caught up to yet.Then, she felt him.Before she saw him.That heat, that shift in the air—like gravity tilting in his direction.Anthony.He stood at the edge of the field, leaning against a stone arch that hadn’t been there seconds ago. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, sleeves rolled to his elbows. His expression was unreadable, but his eye
Before We Broke Seventeen Candles
The warm glow of the late afternoon sun slipped softly through the windows of Nicole’s house as I stepped inside, my heart fluttering with anticipation. It was my seventeenth birthday—May 14th—a day I had quietly hoped would feel as special as it did strange growing up. But tonight felt different. Tonight felt like a turning point.Nicole’s mom, Alice, greeted me at the door with a bright smile and a knowing glance. “Happy birthday, Lila! Nicole told me you’d be spending the night, and I wanted to say you’re always welcome here.” Her easy warmth made me feel instantly at home.Nicole appeared from the kitchen, her usual bright grin lighting up her face. “You ready for a night to remember?” she teased, nudging me gently. I laughed nervously and nodded, still clutching my backpack. The house smelled like vanilla and cinnamon from a candle Alice had lit, soft music playing quietly in the background.I was still settling in when Anthony arrived, his familiar grin broad and eyes sparkling
Before We Broke The Pages That Burned
The silence of my bedroom felt too loud after the day we’d had. My skin still held the memory of the sun, and my hair smelled faintly like chlorine and his cologne. The pillows were still warm from where his body had rested next to mine.I laid there in the dark for a long time, staring at the ceiling. My chest was full — too full — like something might burst if I didn’t let it out.So I sat up, flicked on the little lamp beside my bed, and reached for the worn diary tucked back under the mattress.The pen slid into my fingers as naturally as breath, and I opened to a fresh page.May 6thI don’t even know where to begin.Today was… everything. I mean that in the way that people say something changed them. The kind of “everything” you feel in your bones. He swam with me. He tied my strap. He made me food. He held me like I was his whole world.And the scariest part?I liked every second of it.No — I loved it.There. I said it.God, I love him.I don’t know exactly when it happened. Ma
Before We Broke He called it Chaos, I called it Love
The sun was high and the pool sparkled, clear and inviting, like it knew what kind of day it was going to be. Anthony had brought his swim trunks in a backpack, towel slung over his shoulder, eyes already scanning the water like it was daring him to dive in.“You’re going down,” he said, tossing the bag aside.I raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”“We’re making a whirlpool. Winner gets bragging rights. And possibly a popsicle.”“Oh, well then,” I said, walking to the edge, water lapping at my toes, “prepare to lose.”We got in and immediately started the game — swimming along the edge of the pool in one continuous circle, picking up speed with every lap. Water began to spiral around us, dragging at our limbs, churning beneath our feet. It felt silly and childish and perfect. Like something out of a summer I never wanted to end.Once the current felt strong enough, Anthony shouted, “Switch!”We turned, trying to push against the current we’d just created. It was harder than it looked. My
Before We Broke Confessions in Ink
Spring couldn’t come fast enough.After a week of late-night texting and hallway glances that felt like secrets, Anthony was finally coming over. My parents were out for the afternoon, and the plan was simple: hang out, swim, and maybe steal a few more of those kisses that left me dizzy.I’d spent too long picking out a bikini. Not because I had that many — but because this was different. This was Anthony seeing me like that for the first time. Up close. Skin and curves and all the little things I usually kept hidden beneath school clothes and oversized hoodies.I settled on a deep blue two-piece. Not too revealing, but just enough. When I slipped into it in the bathroom, I caught my reflection in the mirror and held my breath.My body was changing. It wasn’t just about looking good. It was about feeling… aware. Of how his eyes might follow the dip of my waist. Or how his hands might graze places they hadn’t before.I stood in my bedroom adjusting the straps on my top, tugging them in
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