5 - Rowan

5 - Rowan

I’ve been here two days and I feel almost back to normal. The hole a broken mate bond leaves never heals fully, but everything else feels amazing. My sister and I both inherited our mother’s ability to bake away any troubles, so every free moment has been dedicated to laughing and cooking. 

I haven’t left the house much in forty-eight hours, but it’s a perfect reset. I have no one left here to see except my sister. The rest of the pack looks at me with pity or they avoid me when I visit. It is part of the reason I don’t come back much. Some think I should never return after being rejected. They are on Carys and Declan’s side believing that the mate bonded connection to Forest Lake Pack makes us better, stronger somehow. Others think I should have fought harder to keep my mate, that I am a disgrace of a Luna for walking away when he asked me to. There are always opinions from people who don’t know the whole story. I’m good at pretending to ignore them, but part of me hears what they are saying and sympathizes, then I mentally beat myself up when I think it makes sense. That consuming feeling of not being good enough prickles my skin almost daily. It’s worse when I am reminded of all the people I let down by not measuring up to Declan’s standards. Copyright ©️ 2026 Miss L Writes and Ember Mantel Productions

I shake my head to get rid of the negative thoughts. I have been out for a run three times a day to build up my wolf’s strength again. She is in her element. I wish I could move to another pack and teach, I think as I take another deep breath of the deep forest smell. Our house is situated towards one edge of the pack territory and the lush trees just past the next row of houses washes over me in that clean, calm way.

I really don’t want to be a rogue living among humans, but I don’t know how to get Declan or his father to let me go completely. Once I am free the gag order no longer applies, but I’m not vindictive enough to go spreading secrets. I just want my life back. The problem I foresee is that many of our neighboring packs know what happened, they know he traded his Goddess given mate for a chosen one. I met most of them as the future Luna, which puts me at risk of being used against Delcan and his parents. I’m not interested in being in danger or being used as a bargaining chip. I would have to go very far to avoid the political drama, which puts me too far from my sister. But no pack will take me while I still have a link to Red River. Sometimes I wish we could break up like humans do. Simply walk away and find someone else, or many someone else's. That thought makes me laugh. I watched many college friends go through partners like Shelly goes through clothes.

Maybe Hazel can ask on my behalf. If she can talk to the Luna while she’s working at the packhouse, maybe Declan and the Alpha can be convinced to let me go quietly and I’ll never return again. Hazel could come to me. Having a pack would help my wolf, which is who I worry about the most. Some go feral without the connection of a pack. Feral wolves are hunted by the lycans and killed. There is no attempt at rehabilitation. They don’t like rogue wolves in general. I’ve heard rogues are turned into servants and slaves when they are captued.

Lycans rule our world with a cruel, unforgiving hand. Stories I read while in the archives were terrifying, but I also saw the need in some cases. Feral wolves, attacking humans without cause should not be allowed to live. Other cases were accidents that should have been looked into rationally first. I just don’t want to be one of those statistics. As far as I know, the Alpha and Luna have never had a visit from the Lycan King or his advisors, which means they are doing something right.

Okay. Enough is enough. I have been here two days and the only thing I have done is run as far from where I know Declan and his Deltas patrol so they hopefully won’t catch my scent. But, I cannot stay stuck here, I can’t keep hiding from them. I’m feeling better than I have in months, thanks to my sister. I only have the rest of today and then I have to head back to my human life. Shelly has called every day to check on me and talk about our upcoming interviews, hoping we both get placed in the same school. She is a better friend than I could have asked for.

I push up from the deck chair and take my coffee cup inside to wash. I take a shower then I put a little more effort into my appearance out of habit…and maybe spite. I don’t know who I will run into when I walk around the pack, and my ego won’t let me be seen looking less than my best around here. It may hurt like a b*tch to be here, but I won’t give Carys any ammo to prove she is better than me. Her only claim is that her connections by birth were better than mine. And I know the minute someone sees me she will know. As I give my hair a soft curl and apply mascara and gloss, I won’t look like I’m trying too hard, I hope my sister doesn’t get into trouble for not saying anything about my being here. Copyright ©️ 2026 Miss L Writes and Ember Mantel Productions.

Technically, she isn’t under any obligation to report my movements. That is just gossip, but the new future Luna might try to retaliate. My sister isn’t afraid of her and she knows that our bloodline is clearly strong enough to equal the leaders if I was the Goddess-chosen future Luna.

With that thought, I smile and step out of the front door. My first stop will be the elementary school, my favorite place.