Chapter 22: Mixed with Confusion

Cecilia came back home following a long, exhausting day at the clinic. Her thoughts were a haze as she closed the door behind her, scarcely recognizing the subtle aroma of lavender candles flickering on the living room table. She had borne a burden for such a long time that she couldn't rid herself of the sensation that something was deeply amiss with her. However, the results of today's test completely broke all her expectations. She clutched the paper tightly, her heart racing in her chest, her thoughts still grappling with the reality. There are no indications of cancer. The letters stood out prominently before her, almost as if they were ridiculing her skepticism. 

She tripped into the living room, letting her purse fall onto the sofa and settling down on the coffee table with a quiet sigh. This can't be correct, she mused internally.  It was a bizarre relief mixed with confusion. After enduring many months of suffering, doubt, and continuous anxiety that she was fighting a terminal diagnosis, the test outcomes appeared nearly unbelievable. Might this be an error? 

Without hesitating, she picked up her phone and called Annie's number. Annie had been her support throughout this entire ordeal, and even though they lived in separate cities, they consistently made time to chat. She required listening to her friend's voice to understand this chaos. 

Annie's phone buzzed multiple times before her voice was heard. "Hello, Cecilia." "What's going on?" 

"I-" Cecilia's voice faltered a bit. "I'm not sure how to express this, but the test result is out." No sign of cancer."

Annie stopped a little, the abrupt quiet on the line allowing Cecilia time to absorb what she had just expressed. Her fingers quivered gently as she replayed the phrases in her mind, wishing that this was true. When Annie spoke once more, her tone was tinged with a combination of shock and disbelief. 

"Wait, what? Are you serious?" Annie asked, her voice rising with disbelief.

"I'm serious, Annie. No cancer," Cecilia repeated, her throat tightening. It felt almost surreal.

Annie let out a soft, disbelieving laugh. "Oh my God.  Cecilia, I don't know what to say. This is amazing! But... wait, have you talked to the doctor? What did he say?"

Cecilia leaned against the couch, massaging her forehead while attempting to organize her thoughts. 

"Dr. Reynolds said my next appointment is in two days. He wants me to bring the prescribed medication with me for examination. He mentioned that it's essential to determine the origin of the issue, so we can understand what we're facing. She hesitated, chewing on her lip. "I'm uncertain about what to believe, Annie." "What if there's something more happening that they haven't found out?" 

"Cecilia," Annie spoke, her tone gentle yet resolute. "You won't discover answers if you persist in doubting everything." You've experienced a nightmare. This is great news. You will work this out. "We will find a way to resolve this." 

Cecilia offered a slight smile, appreciative of her friend's backing. She had always been the type of person who questioned herself, even when there was no cause to. But Annie always had a way of bringing her back from the edge. 

"I understand." I... I'm afraid, Annie. It's as if I've been trapped in a nightmare for ages.  I can't figure out how to let go of the fear."

"I understand," Annie said, her tone filled with empathy.  "But right now, focus on the good news. Focus on the fact that you're not fighting cancer. That's huge. And you've got Dr. Reynolds looking out for you, so at least you're in good hands."

Cecilia inhaled deeply, sensing a slight relief, yet the discomfort continued to eat away at her gut. "Yes, I'm aware." It's merely that..."I'm confused about what's happening with my body now. then what could it possibly indicate?"

"You will receive answers, Cec." "However, for now, just proceed one step at a time," Annie comforted her. "And remember that you're not alone on this. You've got Ethan by your side, too. He's been with you through all of this, hasn't he?"

The mention of Ethan made Cecilia pause. Ethan had supported her at every turn. He remained by her side when she could hardly support herself. She couldn't ignore the odd, unmistakable attraction she experienced for him, even though she still didn't completely grasp it. Was it due to his strong support, or was there something else, something more profound? 

"He's been incredible," Cecilia remarked, her tone gentle as she reminisced about him. "He's been... all things." "I can't imagine how I would have managed without him." 

Annie's tone became increasingly inquisitive. Sure. 

"Hmm." "I've always believed there's more to your connection with Ethan than you're telling me, you know." 

"What do you mean?" Cecilia inquired, although she already sensed the direction of the discussion. 

Annie chuckled gently. "Oh, please." I have known you for many years. "Don't pretend you aren't feeling it as well." 

Cecilia took her time to reply. The reality was that she had sensed a bond with Ethan, yet she had never permitted herself to delve into it. Their friendship had always felt so easy, so well-known, and she didn't want to jeopardize it by adding complications with feelings or anything deeper. However, recently, she found herself questioning whether there might be something deeper between them, something that surpassed the limits of friendship. 

"He's always been my support, Annie." However, that's all I can say about him now. I wish to avoid creating an uncomfortable situation. Not now. Not with everything going on."

Annie sighed, though it was clear she wasn't convinced. "Hey, Cec, I'm aware that you're afraid." Yet occasionally, the individuals who support us during our toughest times are the same ones who will stand by us during our best moments. "Don't allow the fear of uncertainty to stop you from pursuing what could be a positive opportunity." 

Cecilia couldn't reply before Annie continued, "Regardless, that's enough of that. What are your intentions following your doctor's appointment? "Have you considered what happens afterward?" 

Cecilia reclined in her chair, gazing at the ceiling while pondering her future. It was difficult to envision past the ambiguity of her diagnosis, yet Annie was correct. She wouldn't allow fear to dominate her life endlessly. She needed to continue progressing, regardless of how challenging it could be. 

"I have no idea, Annie." I suppose... I'll simply handle it one day at a time. I can't plan for matters that I don't understand at this time. However, I will keep on trying my best.  I have to."

"Good," Annie said, her tone softening. "That's the spirit. You've got this, Cec."

Cecilia felt a small sense of relief wash over her. She wasn't in this alone. She was backed by Annie, accompanied by Ethan, and had a doctor who appeared truly dedicated to discovering the issue. That was more than sufficient to assist her in facing whatever followed. 

"Okay, I'll let you leave," Annie remarked, interrupting the quiet. "I need to attend a meeting." However, I will call you back later. But don't forget to let me know how things go with the doctor."

"I will," Cecilia promised, feeling grateful for her friend. "Thanks for everything, Annie."

As they ended the call, Cecilia put her phone down and stared at the test results once more. The paper that had brought her both relief and confusion now seemed to mock her uncertainty. Yet she could not permit herself to remain in uncertainty. She needed to have faith in the journey, even if it was uncertain where it would go. 

Annie's voice continued to resonate in her thoughts, and she recognized that, despite all her fears, there was one thing she was sure of. The connection she had with Ethan. That, at the very least, was something she could cling to. 

Just as her mind started to ease, another thought barged in-one that had been hovering in her mind for days. Ethan. There hadn't been any communication from him in the last few hours and She started to question whether he thought about her as much as she thought about him.

At that moment, someone knocked on her door. Surprised, she got up and approached the door, questioning who it might be at this time. She didn't anticipate anyone. When she unlocked the door, her heart raced for a moment. 

In the doorway stood none other than Rose, who was Ethan's cousin. Cecilia's heart skipped a beat, wondering why she had come to the house. Annie hadn't mentioned anything about a colleague stopping by, so could it have been Ethan who sent her? The mere thought of Ethan sent a chill through Cecilia's body.

Cecilia stepped aside, allowing Rose to enter. She followed her closely, her mind racing with questions. As they entered the living room, Cecilia felt a lingering sense of unease. Why was Rose in their house? These questions continued to circulate in her thoughts, yet she couldn't muster the courage to ask her anything.