The elevator dings open and I begin the unusually long walk to my office like I didn’t just spend the last two weeks not showering and eating my weight in ice-cream.
When I got back to the apartment I used to share with Cam the morning after my ravenous night with Alec, the full weight of the previous day’s events fell on me like a semi truck. Walking into that apartment was like being woken up from a blissful sleep by having ice water dumped on you.I immediately got to work packing all of Cam’s stuff and putting them into boxes. I then had my brother, and Cam’s (ex?)best friend, come pick them up from from my apartment and drop them off at Cam’s parents’ house; not before making him promise not to tell them anything if Cam hadn’t already.When I could no longer distract myself with my spring cleaning project, I took in just how devastatingly empty my apartment looked. It felt so cold and hollow. The first couple of nights there I couldn’t even bring myself to sleep in the bed. The thought of sleeping in there and reaching out for Cam’s warmth in the middle of the night and finding no one one his side of the bed, was too much to bear. I spent those nights falling asleep on the couch, bingeing sappy new adult romances on my laptop.Sometimes my mind would take me back to my night with Alec. He was better than the rumours painted him out to be; he had me thinking that the girls who became obsessed with him after just one night weren’t exaggerated fiction. I think back to how he touched me, how thorough and attentive he had been. How filthy he had been. He brought out something I didn’t even know I had in me.I’d be lying if I said I didn’t touch myself at the memories of that night; but then I’d feel guilty. Like I was betraying something that wasn’t even real. Like I didn’t take enough time to morn what could have been with Cam before jumping into bed with his uncle.But then just as I would think that, a little voice inside my brain reminds me that Cam and Eliza had an affair for a year. The voice taunts me with ideas of what their conversations were like, what their texts were like.Did they talk about me? Did they make fun of how oblivious I was to their betrayal? Did they fight about me? Was Camden’s refusal to leave me a point of contention in their relationship? Did they ever talk to each other about how bad they felt for going behind my back, for lying to me?Those thoughts kept doing rounds in my head. Even when I try to suppress them they’d pop back up like a bad game of wack-a-mole where the prize is just getting one inch above emotional rock bottom.I also did a lot of cursing in those early days. Actual hexing, to be exact. The witches in the tv shows gave me ideas, so I turned to internet witches to learn how to curse someone. I don’t think it did anything, but it helped a lot more than anything else anyone has ever tried as a heartbreak remedy. It was a solid four star experience.Still, I couldn’t stand being in my apartment much longer. Nothing I did really helped me to purge the memory of him and I. I just dampened it. Emma and Rachel say that it’s going to take time; that one day I’ll be able to move through life without the constant reminder of their betrayal. But that time has not come yet, so I will be here at work until it does.Outside of my office, I am greeted by my assistant Leilani. “Welcome back, Miss Caldwell.” She smiles, handing me my usual drink of coffee.I wince internally at being called Miss Caldwell. “Thanks.” I smile back. “What’s on the books for today?” I ask, continuing into my office.“Starting light, today being your first day back.” She begins. “Nothing too much, only one meeting on the books for three this afternoon. It’s the one with the inspector to certify the vacation house we just finished by the lake. You also need to go over the plans for the shopping complex and send them to the client as soon as possible.”“Is that all?” I ask as I take my seat behind my desk.She nods in response. “Wow, you weren’t kidding, it really is a light day.” I chuckle.“Oh, and before I forget,” she turns around and leaves the room; only to return with a vase full of flowers of different colours and package. “These came for you today.” She says as she drops them on my desk.I stand up and look through the flowers, “no card?” I ask her.“Nope,” she replies.I open the box to see what’s inside. I push aside the package stuffing to reveal a book on hangover cures. I open it to find a note on the inside cover: “can’t have a headache with that broken heart.”“Any idea who these could be from?” Leilani asks.“I haven’t got the slightest clue.” I lie.I was deep in thought, reviewing the small changes to the plans for the shopping centre that I instructed my team to adjust before I left. I was making the final touches when Rachel sauntered into my office. “Hi,” she chirped, pulling me out of my concentration. “Do you have any plans for lunch?”I looked at the time and noticed that it was already slightly after noon. I had been haunched over my desk for almost four hours and I didn’t even notice.“Um, no.” I reply, “ just let me finish this up this one thing real quick and I’ll be right with you.” She makes her way to the lounge area in the corner of my office and dramatically plops down into one of the seats. “These are pretty, did you get them yourself?” She asks, noticing the flowers on the coffee table. “No, someone sent them.” I answer carefully. I didn’t want to give more information, but I didn’t exactly want to lie. Rachel knows me too well for me to be able to get away with lying to her; and if she detects even the smalle
The rest of the week had gone by without a hitch. Work had gotten busier so I didn’t have time to fester on the potential mess with Alec and our potentially intertwined business interests. I met with a few more clients for home designs, and finalised a partnership with a real estate development company. All in all I was grateful for the opportunity to throw myself into my work this week. It’s Friday and it’s getting late. I’m supposed to be meeting Emma, Rory and Rachel at Melody Line, a jazz club downtown, for our weekly cool down. It’s been a tradition of ours since we moved back here after our semester abroad in our final year. I was shutting down my computer and getting ready to leave when I heard a knock at my door. “Come in.” I said, wondering who was still here at this hour. Liliana had already left, along with the rest of the floor. “You have to make it quick, I’m on my way out.” I say without looking up at whoever just walked in through the door. “I promise I won’t be lon
“Wow, what a cunt!” Rory was on her third Long Island; and being the lightweight she is, all sense of propriety had left a long time ago.Rory had started coming along to our weekly nights shortly after we met at one of the first of Cam’s family’s get togethers that I had been invited to a little over three years ago. We got on like a house on fire, and soon started hanging out regularly outside of those family events. She integrated into the group very easily, winning the girls over with her crass charm.“You can’t go around calling people cunts so loudly.” Rachel chastises her. Ever the sensible one, she decided to stick with virgin cocktails for the night.“Well if the shoe fits this well I can just start calling her Cinderella.” She retorts“I think you’ve had enough, you’re starting to not make sense.” Rachel goes to reach for Rory’s drink. Rory pulls her drink away from Rachel’s reach and pouts like a child.“She’s right though, that was cunt behaviour” Emma says while going to
****Alec****What I said to the girls last night wasn’t a lie, and Rachel had been right on the money. Life in the UK had gotten a bit repetitive and therefore boring. I went, I saw, I conquered, and did it so many times over the last fifteen years that I’d gotten bored.The irony of my return is not lost on me. I initially left home and decided to settle elsewhere because I felt there was nothing here for me. My brothers were already out there in the world, doing shit, conquering life in their own way. I couldn’t go anywhere without seeming like I was following my brothers around like a lost puppy. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without being harassed by my brothers’ shadows. Everyone only ever saw me as an extension of them, I hated it. So, I decided immediately after college that I’d put as much distance between us as possible, a whole ocean’s worth, and make a name for myself that wouldn’t be tainted with my brothers’ legacies. But at this point, I’ve built enough. I have
“And why wouldn’t they? I picked based on which firm would be best able to execute my vision, I wasn’t going to disqualify Brokk just because you have a problem with their CEO.” I say, my tone final.“You don’t have a problem with how she abandoned and hurt your nephew on their wedding day?” Adeline started to get louder.“How SHE hurt Cam?” A dry laugh comes out of RoryAt this point the whole table was silent, watching the conversation unfold. Camden just kept his head down.“I think what Adeline is trying to say is that Dariana has shown, through her character, that she’s incapable of bearing any kind of responsibility.” Lachlan says calmly and places his hand on Adeline’s in an effort to try and calm the conversation.“Are you serious?” Rory exclaims. “You’re seriously just going to sit there and let them shit talk Dari’s?” Stares daggers at Cam.“It’s just their opinion.” Cam mumbles without looking up at any of us, electing to focus on his plate.“You know your perfect son isn’t
****Dariana****Tonight marks the first time in three years that I’m not at one of Adeline’s monthly dinners. This is nailed in by the fact that I’m sitting at home alone having takeout with a coconut mask in my hair that’s keeps leaking out of my shower cap and on to my forehead.One of the things I’ll never forgive Cam for is depriving me of his mothers cooking. Adeline was an amazing cook. When Barret, her youngest, was school age she opened a restaurant right in the heart of the city. Her specialty was Italian and French cuisine, but every so often she’d incorporate flavours and cooking styles from all over the world in her dishes.Truly that woman has a gift. One that I will never get to experience as I can never set foot in her restaurant again; seeing as she probably views me as the flakey bitch who broke her little boys heart.Just as I’m about to finish up my food, there comes a knock at my door. Curious, I dust my hands off on my robe and I go to answer it.Standing on the o
Walking into this Monday morning, I feel refreshed. I feel like I’m slowly starting to adjust to everything. Having George popping in and out of my apartment this weekend helped to make everything feel a lot less lonely. Not to mention, we had finally managed to figure out how to place those large rollers on my head; so now I have the extra benefit of a perfect hair day to kick off the week.As usual, Liliana was ready to greet me at my door with my schedule for today. This week, however, she did not hold back.Today was supposed to be my first official day back; so there was a lot that I needed to attend to.After giving me the rundown for the week, Liliana left my office. Only to, like last week, return with a bouquet. “Another one came for you this morning. Still no card; and this time it’s just the flowers, so no package.” She said.“Oh, okay. Just put them on the coffee table.” I point to the flowers from last week that had begun to wilt. “You can throw those out.” I say.“You
“I was just making an observation on the nature of our relationship and how it will change going forward. I guess I have to get used to calling you ‘Miss Caldwell’ myself.” He says, grabbing a sugar packet and mixing it into his cappuccino.I barely have time to decipher what he said before my phone starts buzzing. I pull it out of my pocket to see Rachel was trying to call me.“Just give me a second.” I say to Alec. I get up from the table and move to take my call outside. “Where are you?” Rachel immediately says, forsaking greetings and formalities.“You mean Liliana didn’t snitch on me?” I joke, remembering the slightly less than dignified way I was dragged out of the office. “I need you to be serious for a minute, Dar. We have a lot to talk about. So where are you?” She repeats.“Uh, I’m at a bistro close by if you need me to rush back to the office?” I asked, pensively. I couldn’t properly gage her tone through the phone so I was confused as to whether the things we needed to ‘