KISS?

LUCAS

.....

I watched him....

He laughed out for some more, before getting up from the chair, maybe to try to see if the door would finally burg, and open, but I don't want him to go because....because I don't want this moment to end so easily.

Yes, I might be very selfish and unreasonable, but what else could I possibly do when my heart wasn't on the same side with my mind, so I try to stop him, he might probably punch me for walking up to him, and stopping him, but...but I don't want to care, so I try to get up from the chair, but my ever so clumsy legs fails me, and made me hit the side of the table hard

It hurts again so I groan out, and was glad I did, and was always so clumsy, cause it made him turn around to look at me

"Is it in your dictionary to always be clumsy and get hurt, huh?"

He raised one of his eyebrows up, and asked me with a look that said I am a dummy, but I don't care anymore if I was a big dummy to him. Hell no!, as long as he stays with me, so I speak out

"Well maybe it's because the universe wants us to be friends"

I stop holding my hurt thigh, looked up at his face clearly, and told him, but immediately he heard me, he scoffed out, and moved back to me

"It's not ever going to happen!"

He said those words to my face audibly, so that it would sink, and it did, and kinda made me feel sad, cause I don't know what to think anymore. God, I really want us to bond, but...but what if he would never ever like me at all?

I thought to myself, and the thought killed me that I didn't even realized when he walked away from my front, but when I saw him looking outside the window at the side, all the sadness immediately got replaced by this sense of admiration.

Yes, I know am stupid for still choosing to admire a guy whose words just hurt me like a couple of minutes ago, but damn, what could I do when the outside light was reflecting straight at his face...God!, what could I possibly do when this cold hearted dunderhead was this...hot!

Damnit, am sure he doesn't even realize that if he stop being depressed, and an outcast, he could make anyone fall for him, anyone like...

I thought to myself, and smiled like a fool, but before I could snap the thought out of my head this time, he caught me red-handed as if he literally had eyes at the back of his head

"Don't stare at me and smile like that, it's creepy cause I don't know if you are planning to kill me"

He turned around to me, and said it all at once to my face, and it made my eyes pop out and my cheeks turn hot red, cause I don't know how on earth he realized I was staring at him, but he did, and it's so embarrassing, (Oh god, just kill me already!)

"So...sorry"

I stammered out and looked away from him, with my reddish tomato face, but when I heard him chuckle out, I immediately looked back at his face, but yet again he murders it when he saw the little smile on my face, and it hurts me again, but...but I don't things to end like it had did earlier, nor do I freaking still want him to look away from me, so I do the most absurd thing I could ever think of

"Am really sorry I was staring at you, it's just because I always have this bad headache that makes me behave like a creep sometimes"

I blurted out, looked at his face innocently, and watched as one of his eyebrows lifted up. I knew he was confused, and really didn't understand anything I had just blurted out, but spoke out either way

"Alright, but you don't owe me any explanation though"

He shrugged as soon as he told me, and wanted to turn around to keep looking at the window, but I didn't wanted that, cause...damnit, cause I wanted to keep looking at his face for much longer, so I tried to stop him again

"You're right, I don't, but I just want you to know"

I blurted out to him, and he looked at me and nodded his head confusedly, but I don't stop talking

"I want you to know, cause it's hurts really bad over here"

I mumbled out to him, pointed at my forehead, and prayed To God, he would fall for the bait, and he actually surprisingly did!. He moved closer to me, sat down on the table in front of me, and touched my forehead with his cold fingers

"But your forehead looks fine to me"

He looked into my eyes, and whispered out, and...and to be honest, he was right, and I knew it was the truth, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my forehead, nor did I had any weird stupid headache either. Fuck, the a little bit embarrassing truth was that I just wanted to keep looking at his face, and to see it closer, his blue eyes....his lips...even though thinking about it makes me sound like a psychopathic pervert, but Gosh, I really think am kinda sorta addicted to his face or something, that...

"Lucas?..."

For the first time in history, he said my name, and didn't call me a dickhead or dunderhead, I guess he didn't even realize it, but hearing him say my name makes my eyes pop out, and makes me more selfish and thoughtless, so I don't stop lying, cause I wanted more of this closeness...I fucking wanted him to touch me more, I wanted his breath to keep touching my skin, keep making it cool, and keep making my spine shiver, I bet he didn't even realize it.

Fuck, I wanted more of this, more of him, more and more, so I kept on talking, and don't fucking stay quiet, not now...

"Back in high school, they always mock me for having migraine"

I said to him, no I lied some more to his face, cause lying was my best friend right now, and I didn't wanted to stop, espescially after he touched my forehead again with a mixture of innocence, and confusion written on his face, but this time, th...this...time, he didn't stop there, and it made me lose guard like a completely lost child

At first, his fingers touched my forehead and rested on it for a while, but then...then he slowly lowered it down to my nose, and it made me wanna sneeze, but I stopped myself quickly, cause...cause I don't want to break the eye lock that was feeding into my soul, even though I didn't understand what exactly was happening, but...but...I liked it, and didn't wanted it to fucking end, so I keep looking at his face, even though his blue eyes were very unsure and it felt as if he was trying to stop him, but didn't wanted to, just like me who wasn't sure if to push him away from myself was the right thing or not, but...but his eyes were a little different, and it felt like he was trying to figure things out, but why was he literally trying to figure things out with me, when my heart can't even take in all this feelings as once! (Oh God, today might just be the day I meet you) 

I thought to myself with my heart that was racing faster and faster by the second, cause...cause all I wanted...all I wanted was to look at his face a little bit closer, not...not this, or...or else...my heart would..my heart would literally explode, if...if he kiss...

He didn't let me finish my thought, no, Mr. sexy guy lowered his finger away from my nose, and finally touched my lips, and it made my entire body shiver as if I was in ice. Gosh, it's so embarrassing, and I bet he noticed it to, but...but he didn't stop, no, he...he...moved closer, and it made me close my eyes shut, but my heart were pounding heart and going thud thud thud as fast as lightning, but in the end....

In the end, I didn't feel his lips on mine, cause the damn door finally burg open, and ruined every single thing, but the worst part was that it left me in complete confusion, cause I didn't know if he would have actually done it if the door didn't open, or if he would have stopped himself, but he didn't even let me think probably about it

"Am...sorry!"

Those silent little words cut into my thoughts, and made my heart sink. He shifted back, away from me, and it made me feel sad, so sad he apologized, when I was also at fault here too, I also lost guard, and to be fair, also kinda started the whole thing to begin with, with a lie, so I wanted to apologize, to tell him that he didn't do any single wrong thing

"Eli..."

But in the end, that was all I could say, cause he immediately looked away from me, and ran out before I could complete my sentence.

He ran away and left me stuck in confusion, he ran away, and left me to my fast racing heart, and only one thought dancing in my head

"Are we even friends, or becoming something more?..."