Chapter Two

“What!” I stared incredulously at Jeff, did he realize what he was asking me to do? I had just entered the house after three days in the hospital and the first thing that he could say to me was this?

“Irene has the same blood type as you, what's wrong with you donating to her?” He asked coldly and a sound of disbelief escaped my mouth.

I couldn't believe he was asking this of me, I had stayed at the hospital for three days, praying that my baby does not miscarry and not once had he visited or asked about me and finally, I was discharged and the first thing my husband could say to me was to donate blood for his mistress?”

Tears sprang to my eyes, he makes it so difficult for me to keep loving him yet I just couldn't let go.

“I can't…” I whispered and he grabbed my arm.

“Irene is pregnant and I will not risk her losing the baby, so yes Claire, you can and you will”. He gritted.

What about me?I wanted to scream and I held his gaze.

“Would you treat me the same way if I was pregnant?” I asked softly and he let go of my arms as if I had burnt him.

“Don't you dare try to manipulate me with the talk of being pregnant, you are going to donate your blood whether you like it or not”.

I swallowed, he doesn't care if I was carrying his child, all that matters to him was Irene, being Irene's donor now will simply mean that I will lose my baby, I can't take that chance.

“Jeff, please…”

Just then, his phone rang and his brow furrowed as he listened to the speaker and then went suddenly pale.

“I'll be right there”, he barked and started to leave.

He paused and stared at me, “If you do not do as I say, I will divorce you”.

I stumbled, “What!”

“The driver is going to pick you up”. He said as if I hadn't said anything and then, he was gone, his face tight with worry.

I have never seen Jeff this worried in my five years of marriage.

He wants to divorce me because I do not want to donate blood to his lover.

Pain seared in my heart and I bit my lip until I drew blood. My hand went to my stomach.

My baby, I have to protect my baby, I can't be any donor right now.

I dashed towards the door and ran smack into the driver.

Damn, I've been caught, what do I do?

My eyes darted for an escape route, I was frantic but how do I get out of this one?

I saw the almost invisible guards standing and discreeting watching and I knew there was no escaping this, my heart fell as I silently followed him to the car.

I stared out the window in silence, my gaze unseeing the scenery in front of me as my mind wandered back to days earlier.

I had woken up that morning feeling so sick and unable to even stand up from bed.

My stomach churned the moment I tried to sit up and I barely made it to the bathroom before I began to wretch.

I knelt on the cold tile, gripping the toilet bowl and waiting for the nausea to pass. When it finally did, I sat back against the wall and pressed my hand to my forehead.

I was burning up, maybe I should see a doctor.

I stood on shaky legs and looked at myself in the mirror, my blue eyes looked too wide on my pale skin, then my eyes fell on the calendar beside the mirror and then it hit me. When was the last time I had my period? I was supposed to have seen it by now.

I pressed both hands against my flat stomach and tried to remember the last time Jeff and I had been together and it was easy to calculate because Jeff almost never touched me in our five years of marriage and the few times that I tried for him to touch me had always been met with cold and aloof attitude, he would fling my hands off him and storm off from the house then before he would step his feet in the house again might take several weeks or even months.

After sometime, I stopped trying.

Six weeks ago, he had come home drunk. I'd heard him stumbling around midnight and found him sitting on the couch,his head was rolled back and resting on the arm of the couch and his eyes were closed.

I had tried to help him into his bedroom and then removed his shoes and socks but just as I was about to leave, he suddenly grabbed my hands and pulled me down onto the bed with him.

“Jeff, what are you doing?” I asked, trying to push away from him but his arms around me were strong despite his drunken state.

“Stay with me tonight”. He whispered just before his lips came down on mine.

I stilled my struggles and despite myself, my body betrayed me and I found myself giving in. How shameless that my husband could only get drunk before he could kiss me but I didn't seem to mind as I slowly started returning his kisses. That night, we made love. It had happened fast, without tender words and when it was over, there were no soft words either or any declaration of love, he'd rolled away and fallen asleep immediately.

I laid quietly in the dark, my heart aching and tears fell from the corners of my eyes but if this is all I could get from him, then I'll make do with it and cherish the moment.

I had fallen asleep on his bed and when he had woken up in the morning and saw me there, he had been livid.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He yelled, staring at me with so much scorn that I shivered.

My befuddled brain tried to think of something coherent to say, “I…I…”

He grabbed my neck before I could even think of what to say.

“You think sneaking into my bed when I am drunk will make me see you?” He snarled and I tried to pry his hand from my neck, shaking my head from side to side.

His hand tightened for a moment, choking me and our gazes met, I couldn't say anything because his hold was choking the air out of me, I could only stare frantically at his face that was now red with anger.

He suddenly let me go as if even the thought of touching me suddenly disgusted him and I collapsed against the bed, sucking in air and trying to get the sheets to cover my chest.

His disgusted look ran over me and his lips twisted into thin lines.

“Get the hell away from my bed bitch”. He thundered and I could feel my face go red with embarrassment.

I fumbled with the sheets still trying to retain whatever dignity I had but he grabbed my wrist and dragged me out from the bed, I stumbled and fell on the ground, scraping my knees.

Pain shot up my spine and I winced.

“Don't you ever try to seduce me again, you trapped me into this marriage and now you think you can trap me to make love with you? Disgusting”.

Tears sprang to my eyes at his words, “I never trapped you Jeff, why can't you see that I love you”. I cried, staring at him from when I was down there.

“I don't care about how you feel because I don't love you, I can only love one woman in this lifetime and that's certainly not you”. He replied coldly and I had thought that my heart will give up from the pain it was feeling. I gathered my scattered clothes and dashed off from his room with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Weeks later, I was burning up, feeling so tired and always having the need to sleep and not once did my brain process the fact that I hadn't seen my period after that night.

The thought made my heart race. What if I was pregnant? What would that mean for us?

I glanced at the clock. Seven in the morning. Jeff would be in his study for another hour at least, buried in work. He wouldn't notice if I slipped out.

He never noticed me anyway.

I got dressed quickly in jeans and a sweater, grabbed my purse and checked my wallet. Forty three dollars. Enough for a test and maybe some groceries for dinner.

A fantasy bloomed in my mind as I walked downstairs before I could stop it. Jeff's face breaking into a smile when I showed him the test. Him pulling me close, his hand on my stomach. Him telling me everything would be okay, that we'd figure this out together.

Him finally loving me the way I'd loved him for five years.

I shook my head. I was getting ahead of myself. I didn't even know if I was pregnant yet, could be just a flu.

Just as I reached the door, Jeff’s voice boomed, "Where are you going?" 

I froze. Jeff's study door was open and he stood in the doorway, looking at me with those cold grey eyes.

"Just running some errands," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "I'll be back soon."

"Who cares whether you are back or not?” He snickered and sauntered off towards his room, the slamming of his door echoed in the room and I sighed.

And then, I was in the doctor's office and after running some rest, they confirmed what I had already suspected.

“Pregnant”.

“Ma’am, we're here”. The driver's voice suddenly cut into my reverie and I stared at the big building in front of me.

This is the place where they are going to cut out my heart. The thought jumped unbidden into my mind and I shuddered.

I slowly came down from the vehicle and two men immediately came to stand by me.

I figured that they're Jeff's men, he had really left no stone unturned to ensure that I was here today.

I swallowed and headed into the hospital.