Chapter one - Billy

Thud, thud, thud.

"Yes. William. Oh god. Yes, yes." If the rhythmic banging against the wall between mine and my parents room hadn't woken me up, then the feminine voice screeching at the top of her lungs almost certainly would have.

"That's it, oh god yeah, right there, yes, harder." When my dad's own grunts join the cacophony, I squeeze my pillow over my head but somehow the woman's voice still manages to reach my ears.

Fuck, why?

Scowling at the wall as though I could see them going at it, I contemplate my options.

1. Pretend I'm still asleep and oblivious?
2. Confront them and cause a scene first thing on a Monday morning?

The choice would be so much simpler if I didn't know mum had been away for the weekend visiting my gran.

I knew dad was screwing around, but it's as though her being away gave him the greenlight to bang his whores night and day without worrying about being caught out. I mean, she could be home at any point today the stupid selfish fucker! 

I hate that he's putting me in this position, so I bang my fist on the wall and thankfully the noises stop, the hushed voices actually sound a little panicked and I can't hold back a snort of laughter, as if they're only now realising they might be found out.

The groans start up again, muffled this time, so I stick my headphones in, hoping to get another couple of hours of sleep in before I have to get up for school.

"Bill lad, I'm sorry if we disturbed you this morning." My dad slides a plate of toast towards me when I enter the kitchen, he's freshly showered but wearing only his pajama bottoms, as though he's not ashamed of the fresh scratches and tiny bite marks all over his body and I hate him for it. I notice two other plates on the side and when I look at my dad again, I see he's looking past me.

He wouldn't?

A chill run down my spine and I almost don't want to be right, but when I turn my head, there she is. 

Long blonde hair, messy from their activities, a barely-there nighty which does nothing to hide her body from me. From the smug look on her face, I'm pretty sure that was her intention.

She sits one leg crossed over the other at my kitchen table, sipping coffee as relaxed as if she's in her own home. The fucking nerve of this woman makes my blood boil and I spin around to glare at my dad, my fists clenched to stop myself launching the toast at his head. He pales slightly, but then his eyes harden and he lifts his chin, staring back at me.

"What the fuck's she doing here?" I turn to the woman, my lips curl into a sneer as she bats her eyelashes at me, as if she could charm me like she clearly has my dad. "Shouldn't you have skulked off already? Get the walk of shame done before the neighbours see. Not sat here showing your disgusting body off to anyone unfortunate enough to look, you fucking slag."

"Billy, that's enough. You don't understand..." My dad starts but I hold up my hand to stop him.

"I don't want to hear about it dad, take it up with mum when she gets home and just leave me the fuck alone." The woman doesn't react at all, confirming my suspicion that she knows full well my dad is married. 

She reaches out a hand and squeezes my dad's arm, as though I'm being irrational and she needs to support and comfort him.

Absolute fucking slut!

My dad's talking to me, but I don't hear a word as I stride out of the front door, letting it slam behind me and leaving the toast untouched. 

I hop onto my bike, revving the engine to wake any neighbours who might be sleeping, with any luck they'll be complaining to my dad in minutes and he'll have to hide the slag or risk someone else telling my mum before I get to speak to her. Thinking it through, I might actually prefer that, so I double back and do a couple of doughnuts outside the house, making sure to make as much noise as possible, only leaving when gossipy Old Barbara from next door opens her front door and marches across her lawn towards my house.

Shane and Aurora are wrapped around one another in the back of his car when I pull up next to them and it's too much after this morning, I slam my hand onto the roof, plastering a pervy smile on my face as they both turn towards me.

"You two are getting me all hard and horny, can I join in?" Shane kicks the door open so it knocks into me and I feel my temper flare up. I need a good fight, I can't remember the last time it happened, ever since Shane brought Aurora into our lives, even Luke's toned it down because she doesn't approve, but I need it now.

"Morning Billy, are you ok?" Aurora squints at me from behind Shane's shoulder as she does up the buttons on her shirt. "You look upset, what's happened?"

"Fucking peachy." I growl out, beyond irritated that she can see right through me.

"Easy, Bill." Shane's eyes flash a warning and he only steps aside when Aurora pats his side to let him know she's ready, he plants himself between us and I know I'll never hear the end of it unless I apologise to her.

"Sorry Rory, I'm in a shit fucking mood." I say and she gives me a sympathetic smile.

"Can I help with anything? Is it Stacey? I heard she got herself a boyfriend on holiday." 

"Nah, just need a good sleep." I give her a wink and continue. "Stace and I are fine, we both knew what we were and I did Carrie on Friday night, told her I'd put a good word in for her with Shane here, just in case he fancies a go. She's alright, not the best but absolutely fucking nutso over you mate, said she'd keep it quiet from Aurora too, just FYI." 

He gives a pained groan, slinging his arm over Aurora's shoulders and running his hand down his face.

"It's too early for this, I just had breakfast, I don't want to think about Carrie, at all, but definitely not Carrie and sex. It turns my stomach, I can't believe you went there, seriously." 

"There was a lot of alcohol involved mate and I was abandoned by my guys who were off with their women, I didn't have time to be too picky, so really, it's your fault." I chuckle to myself as they roll their eyes at me. "It won't be happening again though, she really is a psycho. The things she wanted me to do to her, she kept calling me by your name too…"

"I need to not be here for this conversation, please. Let me get a head start." Aurora gives Shane a quick kiss and jogs ahead of us towards her friends, sticking her finger up at me when I call her a prude. 

Shane perches on a bench and lights up his cigarette before offering the lighter over to me and then my phone rings. I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh deeply before hitting the answer button.

"Hi Mum, how's Gran?" 

"She was at the house? I'm so sorry love, I'm on my way home, I'll sort it before you finish school." She sounds tired, exhausted actually, but not surprised or upset.

Maybe she's known for a while too?

"Are you ok, Mum?" 

"I'm fine sweetheart, I'm sorry he got you involved in this, I'll never forgive him for that. I love you so much, you know that, right?"

"Yeah course, love you too." Luke strolls over and snickers, ready to take the piss when I'm off the phone, but Shane shakes his head and then both are looking at me with concern. I hear my grans voice in the background and my mum sighs through the phone.

"I'll see you tonight sweetheart, try not to think about it, everything will be fine." Suddenly, I know what she means and my heart breaks for her.

"Mum wait…" 

"Yes?"

"Don't forgive him, please, he had her down for breakfast when I got up. He doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself…"

"Bill, he's your dad."

"I don't care, I'm eighteen, I've nearly finished school and then I can fuck off wherever. Think about yourself for a change. Do you really want to be married to that asshole for the rest of your life? Knowing what he's been up to, that tramp this morning probably had all-sorts up her vag that she's passed on to him." She stays quiet for a few minutes and I wait, pacing and ignoring the confused looks Luke and Shane are giving one another.

"Ok, I hear you baby, I do. Don't think about it any more. I'll sort it, I promise you that. I'll see you tonight." I nod even though she can't see it and pocket my phone when she's hung up.

"Your dad's having an affair?" Shane says, but it's more of a statement than a question, so I nod again and he makes a disgusted sound. "What's your mum said?"

"Just that she'll sort it. I think she already knew, I fucking hate that she might have known and kept it quiet. My dad's a fucking asshole."

"Join the club mate." Luke says quietly, patting me on the shoulder and offering me a cigarette. I don't even know what I did with mine but it's nowhere to be seen so I must have chucked it during the phonecall. "You can always stay at mine if you need to get away."

"Thanks mate." We stroll towards the school. My head's not in the right place to work, but I don't want to go home, so I stick it out, ignoring the teachers and not writing anything down the whole day, my mind too focused on what might be happening at home.

*****

I expected there to be screaming and shouting when I got home, but it's eerily quiet and if both their cars weren't in the drive I'd have thought no one was home.

Bile rises in my throat when I open the door and see my mum's suitcases standing against the wall. I don't know how long I stare at them, but then my mum's in front of me, wrapping her arms around me, her head pressing against my chest as she holds me in a tight grip. 

She's leaving him.

I know I told her to and I know it's the best thing for her, so why do I feel so sick? Somehow she's guided me into the living room and my dad puts cups of tea on the table for each of us, they're speaking but it's as though my brain can't figure out what they're saying, it's just sounds.

"Billy love? Sweetheart?" My mum turns my head so I'm looking at her. Watching her mouth, I finally start to hear the words, although they don't make sense. "Is that ok love?"

I don't know what she's asking me, so I just nod and she kisses my forehead, standing up and giving me a sad smile.

"I love you so much sweetheart. Never forget that, ok?" I nod again and she turns to my dad, saying something that I can't hear because my heart is pounding in my ears so loudly and then she pulls me up for a hug, a tear runs down her cheek and she palms it away before stepping back and leaving the room.

The sound of her car driving away brings me to my senses and I turn to my dad, who's watching me carefully.

"What happened?" I ask and he winces.

"I knew you weren't listening, fuck, I told her not to just leave but she wouldn't have it, said you'd be fine." He slams his tea onto the table. "Your little stunt this morning with the bike had half the neighbours at the front door, someone saw Carly and called your mum and now she's left us. Are you happy?"

"What the fuck? Are you actually blaming me for this?" I choke out a laugh. My throat feels raw, so I grab the tea and drink down a huge gulp, thankful it's already gone cold and doesn't burn. That would probably send me over the edge the way I feel right now. 

"If you'd just kept your tantrum indoors it would have been fine. So yeah, I'm blaming you." My dad's glaring at me as though I've messed everything up and I can feel a headache coming on from the stress.

"You were fucking someone else." I shout, throwing the cup into the wall opposite. "In your bed. Mum's bed. What did you expect?"

"Loyalty Bill. I expected some fucking loyalty from my own fucking son, is that too much to ask?" 

"Do you know what? I can't do this with you right now, I can't fucking do this." I stride to the front door, wrenching it open to come face to face with the blonde whore from this morning, her fist raised as though she was about to knock. 

She quickly masks the look of surprise into a smug smile, stepping past me into the hallway.

"Thank you Billy." She says over her shoulder and I've got the distinct feeling she isn't talking about opening the door for her.

Grabbing my phone, I dial Luke's number as I head to my bike.

"Mate, I'm coming over, I want to get fucked up." I say to his answerphone and jump on my bike.

The new girl, Chloe or something, is leaving his house when I get there, but I'm too angry to respond when she says hello, instead I push past Luke and grab the first bottle to hand, undoing the lid and grimacing as it goes down.

"I called Shane too, what's going on? Please don't tell me Carrie's preggers or something?" He laughs, grabbing a beer for himself.

"My mum's finally left that asshole and to top it all off, he's fucking blaming me." I take another swig from the bottle and this time it doesn't burn as much, so I take another, longer one.

"Mate, that sucks, but he's not worth killing yourself over." I turn to look at him and bark out a laugh, his hairs all over the place, his cheeks are flushed.

"Does Aurora know you're banging her new friend?" I ask and he rolls his eyes.

"I'm not banging her, idiot. We just got back from a run." 

"Yeah whatever you say." I snort, taking another swig of the drink. He picks up his phone and taps at it, obviously messaging someone. "That your girlfriend?"

"I'm telling Shane to pick up pizza's, I think you're going to need it if you're drinking vodka down straight like that." He locks his phone and puts it on the side of the chair, glancing briefly at the reply but not opening it. "You wanna stay here for a few days, give you time to cool off before you face your old man."

"You're a good mate, Luke." I nod. Feeling myself getting tearful, I take another drink and the room spins a little.

I'm vaguely aware of Shane coming into the room, propping me up with a pillow and feeding me pizza. One of them must swap out my alcohol with water because when I reach down, my hands wrap around a plastic bottle, but I don't care anymore. I just want to sleep, so that's what I do, shifting on the sofa and kicking off my shoes to get comfy.