Chapter 1

Tears streamed down my eyes as I walked slowly down the street in the pouring rain. The street was empty and lights reflected off the water, rippling on the pavement as I walked. Soaked to the bone, I bit my lip to keep myself from sobbing. Why is it always me? These words echoed in my head as I finally reached my apartment. The second I closed the door, I completely broke down sobbing as loud as I could because I couldn't hold it in any longer. It happened again, the boy I gave everything to was just using me. I gave him everything, my time, my money, my body but it turns out I wasn't the one he wanted. No, he wanted the i*******m model because apparently "he didn't want to ruin our friendship and lose me by dating me" does that make sense? What's even worse is that I had learnt with her in highschool, we even used to sleep in the same dormitory and he knew that!

I cupped my face in my hands and leaned on the door. After a while I took out my phone and deleted his number then started deleting he's pictures. A notification popped up on my screen and I tapped it. Turns out he had posted a picture of them together with the caption " It's official"

Ughh why was she so pretty? I didn't even have the guts to call her ugly. I stalked her profile, scrolling through her pictures, trying to find out what it is she had that I didn't and the more I scrolled, the more it became obvious. She was someone he'd show off in public while I was not pretty enough. He had always been a "What would my friends think ?" type of guy. I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror at the absolute mess I was, my blonde locs were absolutely soaked. I started stripping off my wet clothes when my phone rang, honestly I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone so the voicemail came up.

" Hey, it's Thandiwe. I'm probably busy with something and can't come to the phone right now, so just leave a message at the beep."

" Oh hey Thandiwe."

The sound of his voice made my stomach drop.

" I was wondering if you're free tomorrow, if you have no class you can come over to my place and we can chill or something..just call me back when you get this. Bye."

Disgusting. By "chill" I knew he just wanted us to smash even though he just got a girlfriend, he was unbelievable! My phone rang again and this time I picked it up. It was my best friend, Clara.

" Hey Bestie, just checking up on you, you probably heard."

" Yes Clara, I know."

" I'm sorry. I know you have feelings for him."

" I do and for a minute I thought he did too but...I guess he doesn't, apparently he just wants us to stay friends and continue smashing."

" You're joking!" She exclaimed.

" I wish I was."

" He isn't serious! I thought he just got in a relationship with Beckie from highschool."

" You think I'm lying? He left a voicemail mail less than a minute ago, saying he wants me to go to his place if I have no classes tomorrow."

" Don't even think about going."

"I'm not, honestly I'm just tired right now. Tired of him, tired of myself for always falling for the wrong guy."

" It's going to be okay babes, just let go of him and I'm sure someone who truly loves you will pop up. Anyway, I got to go..talk to you later sweetie, bye!"

" Bye." I sighed. I changed into my pyjamas and dried my locs with my blower. Even though it was just a single bedroom apartment, it felt so big and lonely. I was too exhausted to cook, I just made myself a bowl of 2 minute noodles and lay in bed watching a k drama series I had planned on watching but never did. The protagonist was a girl and long story short she ended up with the perfect guy. I teared up a little, maybe because of jealousy and shut my eyes deciding that it was best if I slept.