ログインEvery word we exchanging during today's conversation returned to my mind as I carefully reviewed each thought to determine if Elena's refusal to make a final decision right inside my office was caused by me. The more I tried to get those thoughts out of my mind, the more they stayed and made me feel like the most guilty person in the whole world. I gently rose to my feet as I walked towards the windows, standing there and watching the busy city far below. If I could see any interesting scene happening down there, then I will focus on it. I will make sure to think on that interesting fact, as the worrying thought of what Elena’s final decision would be, will leave my mind immediately. Was I wrong for telling the truth? Would keeping quiet or choosing to lie make things better or worse? Would she have felt much better if I had lied to her?To be honest, when she walked in, I was convinced that she won't step outside until she gets the answers she's looking for, and that was exactly w
Sitting on the couch in the living room, the conversation that took place in Dominic's office today began to slowly replay in my mind. Even though the movie being displayed on the TV screen was interesting, I couldn't bring myself to focus anymore as soon as the incident started replaying. I muted the movie as I lowered my gaze and hugged my knees. Maya was fast asleep on the bed inside her room. Even if she was right here with me, would she help reduce the anxiety of thinking about what would happen to the relationship between Dominic and I? It seemed like my current posture gave me chance to quietly think about it, now that I was in a quieter environment. For the first time since it happened, I didn't try to push it out of my mind. I wanted everything to replay in my mind, and then I would think of the next line of action. Continually pushing it out of my mind could be the reason why it continued to return. Did I react to the news as well as I should, or was I being too lenient t
Standing in the far end of the corridor, I saw Elena step out of Dominic's office with a crumpled look on her face. She definitely felt the heat in the room before leaving. How heartbreaking this moment must be for her. My instincts urged me to step closer to her and offer consolation so dangerous ideas won't access her mind to do silly stuff, but Elena was Elena, according to me. She wouldn't listen to just any random advice that popped to her mind. She would always carefully review every words spoken to her. She didn't even want to believe me initially, when I informed her about Dominic's involvement in her parents' death. I couldn't afford to approach her, not even at this moment. She should find a place to sit down on, and breathe out multiple times so she can think properly and know what next to do. If she really needed me to be there with her, or to help with her decision making ability, she knew how to reach me. Anyone would find it difficult to believe it. Dominic must kno
For the first time in a long time, Elena turned towards the door and walked out without hesitation. The Elena I used to know would pause her movement by the doorway, turn around and glance at me for one last time. She would either smile or show me how angry she was, but she didn't show any of those sides this time around. The silence in the room was suffocating as my hands rested gently across my waist. Thinking it through, I realized that letting this go without much thoughts could be the only way out. Despite knowing that, my mind couldn't afford to stay blank. Something has to fill the void in my mind, and it has to be the current strongest thought, which was Elena's case and the fact that, after thinking it through, she could decide to not relate with me anymore. I heaved a deep breath as I walked towards the door, grabbed the doorknob to check if she was already out of sight. Not that I was going to call her back or say her name and make her turn to look at me, but I just need
I kept my gaze lowered as his words sank into the depth of my mind. I couldn't look at his face and totally understand what exactly he was trying to say. I had to keep my face down, and think of the next line of action. Would it be to step out of his office and walk out of his life like we never were once friends, or would I stand with him despite knowing his father took the lives of my father and mother? That thought didn't settle with me as soon as I wanted it to. Before lowering my gaze, I was looking into his eyes, almost believing that he was telling the plain truth, but then, I suddenly saw the eyes of the son of a murderer and my mood changed again. A part of me wanted to believe he was innocent and should not be blamed for what his father caused, and another part of me believed he shouldn't be totally left out of the blame. My mind couldn't agree on a balanced point, hence my total quietness. If I chose to make any statement at this moment, it would really determine where
Of course, I believed she would need some time to regain her mental health and her trust in me, but the distance in her eyes was not telling the same story. I saw how much she wanted to grab the doorknob and walk away like we never crossed paths, but that must have sounded dumb or strange.We worked in the same hospital, and neither of us had any plans to resign anytime soon, how then could we decide to stay away from each other? How well would we be able to do that? She believed I hid the secret of the cause of her parents’ death from her because I didn't trust her. It was plainly obvious that I didn't want her to go through a terrible heartbreak session. I'd saved her from something really horrible and emotionally damaging, but she was refusing to look at it from that lens. My voice was low and a little rough as I decided to speak up. She gave me a faint stare as I held her gaze too. “I trust you, Elena. I wouldn't have done what I did if I didn't trust you to stand by my side. I
I was at the hospital by seven thirty.Not because my shift started that early. It started at nine. But the apartment had felt too small that morning and Maya had still been asleep and I had not wanted to sit at the kitchen table with my thoughts for another hour and a half, so I had dressed quiet
The drive back was quiet.Not the comfortable kind of quiet that sometimes settled between Elena and me after a long evening. This was the kind that had weight to it. She was sitting in the passenger seat with her face turned toward the window and her bag in her lap and her hands folded over it,
The three of us were standing in a triangle and the space between us felt very small.The sponsor had already quietly removed himself, which I was grateful for, because the tension coming off both Adrian and Dominic was enough to manage without adding a third person to it. Around us the party cont
The dinner was at the Meridian, which meant the usual crowd.Old money and new money in the same room, pretending they had always been comfortable with each other. Hospital directors and research heads sitting alongside the kind of businessmen who wrote cheques large enough to put their names on b







