Chapter 2 DAMIAN - Let Her Go….

15 years ago

I went back home after I missed last year's summer break. I stepped in at my house in Sausalito and found a beautiful girl standing on the balcony. She smiled widely and greeted me. It was love at first sight. I froze there, admiring what I saw, but then my little brother shouted, “Damian, you’re home!” He walked downstairs and gave me a hug. 

That girl still smiling, walking toward me, she greeted me again, “Hello. I’m Anna. Chris tell me a lot about you, Damian” 

It hit me when later, I saw Chris kiss her on the balcony and she shily showed her affection toward him. They had been together for a year. Daniel, Chris’ friend, introduced her to him and my lucky little brother happily dating the dream girl of every guy alive. We spent time together, the fourth of us, Chris, Anna, Daniel and me during the summer break. Spending time together with Anna makes me love her more. She is just amazing, her beauty and her personality. 

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Years passed, instead of moving on, forgetting my silly secret love for Anna, I like her even more than before. I can’t wait to see her on Christmas. Yes, since I met her, I regularly go back home because meeting her is one of my motivations to come back home. I even thought about transferring to the States, leaving my university in the UK. It was a week before Christmas when I got a call from my mom, telling me shocking news, Chris and Anna had a car accident. Knowing Chris lost his life, I was in grief but I was concerned about Anna too, she was shocked. I saw with my own eyes she became a different person after that. 

I couldn’t meet her as long as my mother hated her but then one day, after countless efforts to tell my mother to let go of her hatred, finally she agreed to forgive her and even planned to come back to SF. I personally couldn’t help but feel excited, finally I can meet her again and maybe this time I could pursue her. Seeing her for the first time after being apart for so long, I couldn’t help but feel so happy, she became a grown woman and she is breathtaking, ‘my love, my forever one!’ I whispered to myself. However, the universe seemed to have no mercy toward me. Not long after, I learned she was pregnant and quickly got married to her new love, after being single for quite a long time since my brother passed away. 

I found myself back again in London after that. I smiled bitterly, I left everything in London, including someone who loved me sincerely, Olivia, for SF, to go after Anna, yet I ended up in London, again. This time, I promised to myself I will try to move on from my feelings, since Anna lived her happy life with her husband, but again I failed. When I started to date Sandra, I learned that Anna was getting divorce and she ran away from the States with Daniel. Once more, my hope was raised too high on her. In 5 years I waited for her patiently before she finally moved into London and she will live with me. I careless about Sandra feeling, I dumped her when I knew Anna will move into London, hurting another woman for Anna. 

We finally met again and I, still, looked at her with full admiration. Her son, from her previous marriage, seems fine with me. I told myself to take the step slowly on her. Unfortunately, the universe, again, gave me heartbreak again, after I learned she dated her boss, Fai, who just looked exactly like my brother, Chris. I wouldn’t blame her for dating him, she loves Chris a lot, and I could tell she tried to find a small piece of Chris in Fai. But, guess that’s not the ending of my tragic first love story, Anna didn’t end up with me or either Fai, instead she went back to her ex husband. I am sad for myself but happy for her, she finally found her happiness with him. Now, all I need to do is move on from Anna, focus on someone else. 

Call me lucky, but Sandra was persistent enough staying beside me, and I didn’t dare to hurt her again like I did to Olivia and her once. I didn’t really love her, to be honest, but I keep telling myself that time will help me, help me to fall in love with her later. 

It is Friday night, I am supposed to spend the night with Fai, drinking at the bar. It surprised me that he admitted her feelings toward Anna and I followed his way, by telling him my true feelings for Anna. He is the first person I told this secret to, I didn’t even tell Daniel about this, afraid Anna will find out later. It felt lighter than I expected. After admitting my true feelings, I felt like I’m releasing something that I have held for years. I was so thankful, Fai and I could talk about this, but when suddenly I got a call from Sonia, Sandra's roommate, I needed to leave, heading to Sandra’s apartment, because she fell unconscious. I drove my car, leaving the bar to Sandra’s but while driving, I remembered about Fai and I was talking before, Anna. ‘Here we go again! Damian, stop thinking about Anna! Let her go…..’ I whispered to myself

‘Sandra, I shouldn’t let you down this time!’ I promised to myself