REGRETS OR JUDGMENTS

Completing today's broadcast and getting all the work done, she goes to home, drove her car, she was very tired, had no other destination and no one had to be invited to celebrate her victory today, Liz offered at first but suddenly there was an important business, so...this is her life, people see her perfect, have everything, but who knows only herself, that know life is not perfect

Her mind was distracted when her car stopped at a red light, maybe she should call him, she hasn't seen him in a long time because he's busy with work...she shakes her head with a sad smile, what are you thinking Diane... are you stupid, how hurt he is because of you, shaking her head once again with the street light turning green, she headed to her house

Letting out a heavy sighs she open her door with touch the code door lock screen with the password she set, slam the door closed and kicked off her heels, she move toward sofa in the living room, avoid looking at the big picture on the wall of the living room, letting her keys and handbag slip from her hand put it on the table in front of her, shrugging off her blazer she move sit on sofa with huff, she lay down her body and sunk lower on smooth leather, she sighed her body feel heavy and tired, just a moment...just wants to closed her eyes, not want to think about anything, emptiness, loneliness, regret, stupid thing she did, she sighed loudly...shifting her hips on the sofa she tried to rest for a while.

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He open his eyes while he heard the sound of the door opening and closing along with other sounds, he blinked his eyes waited a while and no sound appeared, put it together, he got up from the chair, only the sound of his chair could be heard, running a hand through his hair before moving around to living room, he stop while his head spinning, blinked his eyes he caught lighting near the sofa, so he stop in his track leaning again near the kitchen door crossing his arm, he wait-

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she dreamed she was having a relationship with a man whose face was not visible

on the beach.....

see the sunset with...-

Suddenly her dream disappeared, she gasped open her eyes as she heard sound from the kitchen, she sit up from the sofa, and tried to look towards the kitchen with a dark room, focusing her eyes, but she see nothing, she try to get up, groan loudly she blinked her eyes and- there is...she stop in her track, she can see someone leaning against beside kitchen door crossing his arms-

“Kurt! Is that you-?” she shook her head, blinked her eyes, try prove that this is not a dream or imagination, she focus again...and that person is still there.

“Yeah” he replied while she stepped forward but stop in her track

“What are you doing here?” she blinked her eyes try to focus on his face while kurt swallow and take a deep breath

“Why? cause this is my house to Diane, and you still my wife-“ he snapped knit his brows feel his heart beating increase but only to be cut off by Diane

“Not, that’s what I mean Kurt” she growled lowly stepping closer to him but not close to touch

This house is his to of course... but Diane didn't guess that he would be there at night like this, a year he never came here again because...maybe he was tired of dealing with her, their marriage was tried to be maintained by him, it doesn’t mean she didn’t try too but sometimes her work said otherwise, and she know she hurt him a lot, physically hurt, but she don’t know why but he still don’t let her go, everytime she looked his eyes she knows that she betrayed him, no...that’s not betrayed, he called that betrayed, for her that’s a choice and an opportunity, she had to gave up her pregnancy to get a job opportunity and because her marriage was new, maybe even if she gave up that, they could try again later, but the opportunity was only once, so that’s why she made the decision, unfortunately he behave like he don’t know her and say that she had changed a lot because of work, even thought he knew about her politics at the beginning of her life when they met and together, he still blame himself for not being able to stop her, this...she do it just to be stay with him together in Chicago, in the beginning she was reporter non-permanent in New York, only vain when person you love doesn’t believe it and says that you’re lying, it’s been seven years, everytime she alone think about that make her goosebumps

It’s hurt to her, every time she wants to end all this, he shows that he doesn't want to, stoick and plea in his eyes, with that he just goes away, if he wants to meet her, definitely he contact her first not like this, she certainly hadn’t expected him, appeared sudden— suddenly she smelled bourbon with his heavy gaze, that’s it, now she knows-

“I wonder how you are Diane” he gave her a tired expression make Diane lose her anger

“Kurt-“ her own softening at his tone but cut in her throat when she locked on his green, he uncross his arm and move infront of her, her reaction was step backwards as he got closer to her, but she couldn’t do it, the sofa was right behind her, their face inched away, only their breathing sounds could be heard, her mouth went suddenly dry, his green-brown ayes darted to her lips suddenly her heart racing, his hand slid up to her face make her eyes heavy and shivered, trailed his fingers on her face and stop to tucking a stray blonde curl behind her ear, she gulping, she can't think clearly, but she must, too many issues and problems and emotions that must be solved first, she didn’t want to do something that would make them regret especially him, ‘he is in the alcohol...he was drunk Diane’ convince her mind, lord knows that she also misses the touch of a man, how long she punishes herself for what she did, but still they can't, not like this

With heavy breath she open her eyes just to look at his darked with lust eyes, and blame her desire to crave him, no...they can’t, this wrong, get her act back together, she made her lied decision

“Kurt..we can’t” she closed her eyes again with gulped and open her eyes again to looked his hurt expression, he drop his hand at his side and back a little

“Why? Don’t you miss me?” he respond gruffly, his eyes almost half closed already but show his sad expression

“You drunk Kurt” she replied after a short pause, licking and biting her lips try not to get angry and forget about her lust

“I’m not” he grumbled blinking slowly, make Diane crossing her arms

“Than-“ she replied just to be cut by Kurt

“I want to talk to you Diane” he said looked at her, sounding sober for one brief, Diane eyes thinned scanning his face intently while sighed

“Kurt...let’s talk tommor-“ she said slowly met his eyes don't want to start an argument but stop when hear him mumble

“I miss you Diane” he mumbled make Diane closed her eyes breathed in deeply, open her eyes again just to see he wobbling as he started focusing on the ground

She knew it would be difficult for him to appear in front of her saying what he wanted to forget his doubts, the feeling and the pain he feels, she knew she should have reacted differently hearing his confession, moreover it was her who cause him like this, does she still deserve his confession, his touch, his... she just knows she hurt him a lot, and still let him stand when conditions like this is not right

“Kurt, I get you to bed okay” she whined, uncross her arm, reached him, she take his arm around her waist, get him not fight walking them to the bedroom, he hugging her closed to his side, leaning close to her hair, his breath hot again her “you smell good” he mumbled made ...