CONFUSION.

Chapter: 3.

*****

What is wrong with me? Let's just pretend none of that happened earlier and I wish Raya wasn't married to David. "What!" Where did that come from? I can't stay here and certainly can't feel something for my best-friend’s wife, it's wrong and a sin.

Nothing seems to be working the way Steven wanted it right now. He stayed up turning and tossing around making a mess of the king-sized bed. He never knew when he eventually fell asleep. Steven wished it never happened but David came right in and bounced on him waking him up with a jolt. Now that was a really cruel way to wake someone up and being so angry David did that, Steven threw David off of him and had him pinned down on the bed. When he eventually let go of his hand they both had a good pillow fight that got the pillows open and flying all around the place. For two grown men like his mother used to say, they sure know how to play like kids. He guesses it's part of them, something that makes them special, something that binds them together.

"Hello, boys!" Raya called while walking into the room. "Mind if I join in?"

"No!!!" Steven let out all of a sudden. That was weird, never knew when he let the word right out of his mouth, but it's too late to cry now, so he turned his face to the wall.

"Hey, Raya, honey don't get mad I'm sure he didn't mean to shout, did you, Steven?"

Still facing the wall Steven breathed a "No, Raya I'm sorry, never meant it as it sounds."

"You see honey I told you he didn't mean that he's such a big baby sometimes," David said and kissed her. Steven wished he didn't have to do that but he did, right here with him still in the room. Why was he getting mad over that? He kissed his wife so bloody what?

"Steven?"

"Yes, David."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course, everything is very normal and I'm fine, trust me."

"I'm not sure you are Steven, because if you were, you would have heard Soraya invite us to dinner and you would have noticed she is no longer in the room, so you can turn around now."

"Hey! W-what? You don't think I'm hiding away from your wife?"

"Yes Steven, you are. What is the matter?"

"Believe me, David, when I say I'm fine. I really am."

"Well I am sorry to disappoint you Steven but I don't believe you."

"Fine! Why don't we talk about this after dinner."

"Yes. You're right and I must say you're lucky that I'm very hungry, otherwise I would have asked that dinner to wait until you have told me what has been eating you up."

Thank goodness David bought that, silly as it may sound. Steven couldn't have told David what has been bothering him since he got here and he won't tell him. I mean, how do you tell your best friend that you're having feelings for their wife? Isn't that crazy? Steven stood up and followed David out of the room and into the living room. A beautiful dish was placed in front of them and after having eaten all of that. Raya brought a great dessert to go with it. Steven was glad he ate, trying so hard not to look at Raya's direction, each time he met her gaze he lost it. Steven never wanted any of this to happen. But it is, and what's worse he couldn't control it. David would call his attention ever so often. He is his best-friend after all he knows when things aren't so well with Steven. David wanted so bad that Steven could share and tell him. But Steven couldn't. Steven had told David he would tell him after dinner, now he isn't so sure about that anymore, besides what he would tell David. Maybe it's time he looks up a really good lie to tell him.

After dinner, David walked up to Steven and pulled him up from the chair then led him to the garden. David made Steven sit as he called a maid to bring them water. Once the water was placed before them.

It starts.

"Steven!" David called and Steven looked into David's eyes and saw just how sad he was.

I'm hurting him. How would he feel when I tell him more lies, I bet he wouldn't even believe me. I'm not a very good liar, I can't lie to save my life, never worked and never had.

"Steven?"

"Yes David, I am still here."

"Steven please tell me, what is going on? Why are you hurting me? You know so well that each time you end up like this, that I hurt the most. You're the brother I never had and you mean so much to me. Remember all that we have been through together, all that we have shared with each other. I know I am married now but it doesn't change a thing, I'm still the same and that's why I've asked you to visit me."

David begged and Steven saw his eyes shine with unshed tears. He wanted so badly to tell David what was happening to him, how he felt right now, but he can't share that with David. How would it make David feel if he told him what his sick twisted mind has conjured? Steven should say something, David is hurting and he doesn't want that.

"Steven, you zoomed out on me again."

Steven was glad David had spoken. He got up from his chair and went to kneel before David, wiping the tears with his hand and calming David down. Steven gave him some water to drink and once he was relaxed, he looked up at David and mustered the best smile he ever could and David smirked.

"Hey! Don't buy me with that smile, I still want to know what the matter is."

"I wasn't buying you with a smile, although I was hoping it would change your mind."

"You're such a big baby," David said between laugh.

"Listen, David, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, you're as a brother to me and I love you very much, more than I do myself. But what is eating me up right now, I am sorry I can't say, because it's my problem and you just got married. You need my support and you need to be happy. That's what I'm here for, to give you happiness and my support--"

"I know all of that," David said, cutting Steven off. "But what do you mean by your problem? Since when did we start hiding things from us?"

"David I am not trying to hide anything from you, I just don't want to bother you with that."

"I see! So that's what it is now." David said, turning his back to Steven.

The whole 24 years of their lives not once had David ever turned his back to Steven and that hurt the other man greatly. Steven knew he was pushing his limits here, but what else was he supposed to do.

"You do realize you just turned your back on me, David?"

"Yes Steven, I just did. And since you don't think I'm a part of you and all that worries you anymore then it shouldn't upset you that I turned my back on you."

"D-David I'm trying so hard, if only you would just understand." Steven was reaching his peak as he felt his eyes sting.

"No Steven I don't understand because you won't make me." His voice is another peach, rough and harsh.

"I came here to make you happy David."

"If that's true, then I wonder what you're doing now Steven."

"I-I'm s-sorry D, but I can't tell you anything, for now, forgive me, brother."

This got David so mad that he turned right back facing Steven, his mouth was wide open. Eyes wet. He was beyond shocked Steven even said that. Steven had no choice. He couldn't say more.

"What?!"

"I'm sorry David but I'd like to go back home tomorrow."

"What?!!" David cried.

Take back what he said about David being beyond shocked, now he looked like he had just been stabbed in the heart. What am I doing? Steven hopes he doesn't live long enough to regret this.

"I know this isn't what I want either and I would rather have me locked up in a dark room with no air. No water. No food until the day I die, then stay here and hurt you."

Steven made to leave when David held him back on the wrist so tight Steven was certain he'd be nursing scares for days. Steven never wanted to hurt David this way, but there was nothing left to do or say and if he stayed, he'd hurt David until the day he left, and Steven doesn't want that knowing how devastated David would be if that happens. It's best he leaves now, David would get over it in time. Or so he prays. Without looking at him, Steven forced his hand off David's grasp and walked away.