Ch19

NOVA

I barely sleep. And I'm promising and being honest that it's not because of the task. It's not because of the stupid envelope sitting on my desk like some kind of threat.

It's because of my Mom. The way she looked when she realized she had been setting out plates for two people who weren't coming home. The way she laughed like she could brush it off, but I saw the hurt behind her eyes.

She misses them. She misses Noah and Enzo. And maybe I'm selfish for thinking this, but it hurts knowing that they're not only avoiding me. They're avoiding her too.

I understand Noah being angry. I understand Enzo wanting nothing to do with me. I deserve whatever anger they have toward me.

But Mom? She didn't do anything.

If I find either of them at school today, or cross paths with them, I'm taking my chances and starting a conversation.

I don't know how. I don't know if they'll even let me get close enough to explain myself. If they still hate me after hearing the truth and all they're doing to mom, then fine.

At least I'll know I tried.

I throw on my clothes the next morning, barely touching my breakfast before leaving the house.

I arrive late at school today. If Mom had driven me, I know it wouldn't have been the case. Since I walked... here am I. People are still staring at me. The whispers haven't even gone away.

But I don't care as much today. I'm thinking it's because my mind is already somewhere else. It's on finding my brother and his friend. I know where they'll be by this time.

I barely make it past the hallway near the lockers when I hear my name.

"Nova."

I stop and turn around. Isn't it too early for this? I haven't given the girls a second thought since last night.

I turn slowly and see Bethany standing there with Kayda, Halana, and Genevieve. The Sigma Omega girls.

"Good morning," Bethany says, smiling like we're old friends. I let her know that we're not when I don't return her smile.

"Can we talk?" I blurt out, despite my initial reaction to their presence.

Kayda raises an eyebrow. "You're already here."

I ignore her, looking straight at Bethany. "About my task."

The smile on Bethany's face doesn't disappear, but it changes. "Already?" She glances at her sisters... or friends... or whatever the hell they're called.

"Yes." I cross my arms. "I want to change it." I say. This is something I was thinking about, but I wasn't sure I'd get the courage to ask. Now it's out, I just have to hear what Bethany will say.

"I figured you'd ask," Bethany says.

"Then you know it's ridiculous." I offer.

"It's a challenge." She's still standing on the task.

"What you want me to do is stupid. It's ridiculous. You girls know the amount of hate I have in school and doing any of the tasks will only add to it. I'm not a backstabber or a bitch."

Kayda scoffs. "Interesting coming from someone who recorded a private conversation."

I send her a hateful glare. What the hell is her problem? "I didn't post it."

"But you made it." She insists.

There it is again. The same thing everyone says. I swallow the anger rising in my throat. "Can we not do this? I'm not asking to leave. I'm asking if we can switch tasks."

Bethany tilts her head. "With who?"

I glance at the girls. "Gia's. Or Serenity's."

A small laugh escapes Kayda. "Absolutely not."

"Why?"

"Because those tasks were made for them."

"And mine was made for me?" I ask bitterly.

Bethany doesn't answer immediately. That tells me everything. "You know I can't do that," she finally says.

"Please..." Fuck. I can't believe I'm actually begging.

"Girl, your task isn't about the person you're supposed to hurt."

I frown. What the hell does that mean now?

"It's about finding out what kind of person you really are."

I stare at her. "That's bullshit. I'm a good person. I've not done one thing to hurt anybody until the recording. And let's be real. You want me to destroy someone who likes me just to prove something?"

"Don't see it that way. The girls just want to know. I especially want to know if you still care about being good when being good gets you nothing."

"You don't know me." I press my lips together. "None of you do. If you people know me, then you'd know that I can't do it."

"Look who's talking. Just now wasn't she begging to be switched with Serenity or Gia?" Kayda says and then a snort leaves her.

I shut my eyes and reopen them. Now, I'm glaring at Kayda. "Okay, can you not be a bitch?"

"Kayda... be nice." Bethany glances at her. "Look, just think about it." She tells me before storming off, the girls trailing behind her.

I walk away before they can say anything else. Fuck them again. I need air, and space.

I spot Ava, standing by the lockers, talking to two girls from Phi Delta.

"Do it. Go and tell her." One of the girls nudge Ava who looks at me before shaking her head.

"I can't." She tells them.

"No, but you will. Or else..."