Chapter 40

The afternoon was filled with more witnesses to testify to the defendants' characters. Evelyn slaughtered them all on the stand and turned them into noncredible witnesses when their criminal history came up. We were dismissed and sent home for the day as 5pm hit. I wasn’t sure whether to go to Logan’s apartment or the hotel. I found myself back at the hotel and tried to call him. However, he didn’t answer my call. Was this karma for me ignoring him?

I found myself spending most of the night pacing around the hotel room. I wanted to run to him, I wanted, no needed to see Logan. One question kept coming up in my mind every time I reached for the door handle on the hotel room – has too much been said and done between us? I had to wonder whether it was too late or not.

The next few days in court were draining. Evidence and witnesses one after another. Police and Amelia were called to the stand. Pictures of my injuries were shown over and over. Pictures of my home were shown. I was on a rollercoaster of emotions. At the end of the first week, I didn’t know how to feel.

As I left the courthouse, Amelia was waiting outside for me. She handed me my keys back. My house had finally been released and I could go back. I stared down at my hand with the keys in not knowing what to do. Emotions flooded my body along with confliction. After a while I decided to make the journey home for the first time since the attack.

A cab dropped me off outside and I hovered on the pavement. I walked up to the police tape and pulled it off the door. Placing my key in the lock and listening for the latch to open. I walked in feeling the lump in my throat. The air around me was heavy and thick. It wasn’t home anymore. I walked through the house feeling sadness and anger.

Shakily, I climbed the stairs and walked into my bedroom. There was a dried blood pool on the bed. I felt sick and ran to the bathroom. I couldn't stomach being there anymore. I pulled a bag from the wardrobe and packed what I could that was precious to me. I found myself outside on the curb not sure what to do. I pulled a card from my pocket that Amelia had supplied me for crime scene clean up. I contacted them and paid for them to clean the whole house and get rid of everything in the bedroom that had blood on it.

I found myself in another cab but this time on my way to Logans apartment. He had never responded to any of my messages and had not come back to the trial.

The last time I had seen him was on the stand declaring his love for me. Jack had told me he was alright and just needed some space after what he had said on the stand. I tried not to pressure Logan and not harass him with messages but it had been too long since we had spoken. Someone needed to break the silence. I took the elevator up to his apartment. As I stepped out it felt cold and empty. I dropped my bag at the door and went towards his study looking for him. I searched the rest of the apartment, but he was gone. As I walked towards the kitchen, I noticed a note on the counter with my name on it. I opened it.

Leah,

I can only apologise a thousand times over for the way I treated you. Every word I said in the courtroom was true. I should have told you a long time ago, but I was scared. I could see how much you needed this case to be over and I felt like I would only jeopardize it for you. I have loved you for longer than either of us probably realise.

I want you to stay here for as long as you need to. I am going to visit some family abroad for the next few weeks. I need to get my head clear on a lot of things but please know that you are not one of those things. I know how I feel about you, and I can only tell you how sorry I truly am.

All I can hope is that you are here when I return but I understand if you cannot wait for me.

I love you. You will forever be in my heart.

Logan

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