Chapter 5

  Stones crunched under Damien’s tires as he pulled into the driveway where Lauren was waiting for him with Harry in her arms. He came out of the car and opened the door for her.

     “You did not have to do that,” She said as she got in, carrying the little boy close to her chest. Damien said nothing and got onto his own side of the car.

     Lauren watched him from the corner of her eyes as he pulled out of the house, his jaw unmoving. She looked out of the window, if he wasn’t going to speak to her then she wasn’t going to say anything either.

     “I called the hospitals ahead of time and there's only one with an opening to directly meet the doctor” he explained as he pulled into the hospital. Lauren immediately felt a chill when he stopped at the car park.

     This was the exact hospital she had woken up to, only to learn that she was married to Nathan. There was just something about it that was unsettling and the fact that Damien might have called ahead of time to make plans with the doctor. She had to make sure that the result came out negative no matter want.

     Damien opened the car again for her and she stepped out. She expected him to carry Harry, but he did nothing, didn’t even spare the little boy a chance as he stretched out his hands for Damien to carry him.

     “Dada,” Harry said as they walked into the hospital. Damien ignored both mother and child as they walked into the doctor’s office, Harry burst into tears then but that didn’t even make Damien waiver.

     Lauren sat down, humming to Harry so he would stop crying. She looked at the nameplate on the table “Dr. Dre, Good morning” she greeted politely.

     “I already informed him of the reason we’re here, there’s no need for all the formalities,” Damien said, she looked sharply at him. this wasn’t the man she had been with yesterday, the one that had made love to her on the counter.

     “What is wrong with you?” she hissed in a low voice so the doctor would hear.

     “If you can proceed” he gestured to the doctor, ignoring her completely, “I don’t have all day”. She glared at him.

     The doctor stood up “If you’ll please follow me” he said, standing up

     Lauren glared at Damien before getting up with Harry who had grown quiet, with his gaze still fixed on an unmoving Damien.

     Damien watched Lauren leave with Harry and the doctor and breathed out in relief. He hated that he was ignoring her and his kid, but he had to if his plan was going to work. He knew that Lauren would try and manipulate the result, but the truth was, he hoped she would, that way she would be safe from him. he knew that Nathan would act quickly so he had to be prepared for it.

     A few minutes later Lauren walked in with Harry but not with the doctor. He put his cold expression back on so his face wouldn't betray the longing that he felt.

     He noticed Harry’s tear-stained face but didn’t say anything. He looked at Lauren “You don’t have to worry about anything, whether the result is negative or a positive, I’ll leave you alone if that is what you wish, and you’ll never see me again”.

     Lauren snapped her head towards him “Never see you again?”

     “Is that not what you want? So you and Nathan can be a happy family. Don’t make me the bad guy here, I’ll do whatever it is that will make you happy and if that is being an absent father, so be it”.

     She felt the chill in his words, Damien didn’t say what he didn’t mean and that troubled her the most. He couldn’t leave. What would become of her? now that she had had a taste of him after so long, she wanted him again, but her desires were something she couldn’t say out loud.

     “And if Harry grows up and finds out the truth, you can always find the words to say so he’ll hate me alone for not being there for him” he added after seeing the look on Harry’s face. he knew the kid couldn’t make out what they were saying but he could feel the pain in his chest.

     “Damien…” she said, trailing off.

     He shifted in his seat to face her fully “Is that not what you want? You made that very clear yesterday. We both know I don’t go where I’m not wanted and if you don’t want me to be a part of his life… I’ll eventually learn to be okay with that”.

    Lauren nodded, not trusting her voice to speak. She knew she had overreacted yesterday, even more, so that Damien said he was going to stay away, she realized that she didn’t want him to go. But maybe it was already too late for the both of them.

     “Come, I’ll take you home. Let me know what the result says when it comes out”, he stood up and a sulking Lauren followed closely behind.

     The ride back was quiet, each to their own thought. Lauren almost cussed out when they drove in and she saw Nathan’s car in the driveway.

     Damien got around and opened the car door for her just as Nathan came out of the house. Damien ignored him and was about to get back inside his car when Nathan called to him.

    “Hey, buddy!” Nathan called as he walked to where they stood. Lauren stood still, afraid of what Nathan might do or say.

   “Welcome back darling,” Nathan said to her,  he kissed her squarely on the lips and smiled. Lauren looked away, he hated that Damien was there to witness, it made her feel uneasy and guilty.  

     Nathan walked past her to where Damien stood, eyes expressionless just staring at them. “Thank you for bringing my family back safely”

    Damien nodded and was about to get back inside his car when Nathan spoke “You should come inside for a while you know, let’s catch up” he smiled sweetly.

     “I have somewhere to be,” Damien said, his hands fisting at his sides. At this moment he wished he could punch him square in the face, but he didn't want Harry to witness it.

     “what’s more important than old friends catching up, it’ll be like old times! Just the three of us” Nathan insisted, moving closer to pat Damien’s shoulder who stiffened at the contact.

     Damien nodded and followed a smiling Nathan back into the house. They sat at the sidebar close to the kitchen. Nathan opened whisky and poured for them.

     “It’s really nice to see you Damien,” Nathan said, using the nickname that Lauren used to use for him. Damien hummed in response before letting the liquor run down his throat.

     “How have you been anyway?” Nathan asked again, determined to get a conversation going “And what of your fiancée? You never brought her down to the city or introduction” He said, looking him in the eye.

     Damien gripped his glass tightly, he imagined smashing it into Nathan’s face and he smiled, it made him feel better.

     “She’s fine” Damien answered, “I’m sure you already know that” he said, pouring another drink for himself.

     “That’s great to hear” Nathan looked away as if in deep thought “had a dream where she was blown up to pieces you know, was really scary for me” He finished.

     Damien smiled but there wasn’t anything warm about it, if he had any doubt about Nathan’s hand in Jane’s death it was just cleared. He pushed his head and drank the remaining liquor.

     “Thanks for having me in your home but I have to get going,” Damien said, standing up.

     “I’d escort you out of the house, but I met you already know your way around”

     Damien smiled and nodded not bothering to deny that he had been here before. After all, he had made Nathan watch as he made love to his wife on their kitchen counter.

     Nathan sneered as Damien left, a trace of guilt not even showing in his features. He threw his glass to the wall making Lauren rush in to check what was wrong.

     “Your lover is gone if that's what you’re here for,” Nathan said before pushing past her into the room they shared and slammed the door.

     Lauren sat at the bar gulping down the contents of the abandoned whisky, she hated the mess that was her life at the moment.

     Damien sat in his car, lost in his own thoughts. After debating with himself for a while, he goes into his family home.

     “How did it go?” His mother asks, standing up from the couch where she had been waiting for him to get back.

     “It was alright, the result would be out soon,” he said, going quickly into his room to avoid further questions from her.

     He picked up the flower vase that was on his table and flung it across the room. The anger he tried so hard to hide during the day came back to him in ten folds. He screamed until he was exhausted with tears streaming down his face.

     “I don’t deserve this” he kept saying over and over again as he slid slowly to the floor, holding his head with his hands.

     His mother listened with a broken heart just outside the door. She wanted to leave him alone, but she also didn’t want him to go through the pain alone.

     After much contemplation she pushed his door open, careful not to make a sound as she padded across the room to where his form was hunched over, making him appear smaller and vulnerable.

     Damien looked up when he felt someone’s presence. He was about to push his mother away when she hugged him, silencing all the painful words that were at the tip of his tongue.

     “I’m sorry” She whispered, caressing his back with her right in a bid to comfort “Cry all you want, let it out of your chest” She urged him in a small voice.

     At her words, Damien crumbled into a sobbing mess as his mother held him. the memories she shared with Lauren flashing under his closed eyelids. He remembered the way Harry had called out to him, held his finger. The feeling that had grown in his heart when he saw Lauren carrying their kid, the beautiful creature that they had both created.

     He cried all over again when he remembered how Lauren had pushed him away, how she wanted him but still chose Nathan. He had meant everything he told Lauren, he wasn’t going to interfere with her life and marriage.

     Damien sniffed gradually pulling himself together. He was going to leave, go somewhere far away and try to forget her. He thought about the plan he had made to get Lauren back to his side but even that meant nothing now. He wasn’t going to force her to come back, that would just make him like Nathan, and he was better than that.

     He hugged his mother tighter, his head already drawing up a solution. He was going to leave, forget everything about Lauren and his kid. Let Lauren have the life that she wanted with Nathan.

     That was what love was all about. Making the person you love happy even if it means they won’t be happy with you. He loved her and that was the only way he could show her.