Chaptee 05

"We're still in the first choreo, yet you're completely missing your part, Abigail. Can you still do it?"

I held my breath and looked at Bianca, the cheerleading team leader at our school. It was obvious from her face that she was no longer happy about my countless mistakes. Me too; I don't like it anymore every time I make a mistake. It's tiring to repeat my part over and over again.

"I'm sorry, Bianca. I'm just not in the mood today, but I guarantee I won't be like this tomorrow." It tried to sound promising.

She shook her head. It's like she's trying to absorb my words so that she can't be mad anymore.

"Don't apologize to me, Abigail. You should go to our team. They work so hard for this routine; they do a good job on their part, but because you have mistaken your part, they need to repeat it not just once or three times." She said this and turned to our group mates, who continued where we started and ended.

It's like heaven and earth have joined me. My failure today is embarrassing. Bianca is used to the mistakes we make. But right now, mine just doesn't make sense at all. It feels like it's not me. If I make a mistake, it will be recorded on my fingers, and for this day, I better keep it to myself.

"That's all for this morning, guys! Let's take a break for an hour!" She shouted, and some students threw a shout of relief, and others lay down on the floor. Tired for sure.

I felt guilty for what I'd done.

I heavily sighed and excused myself from Bianca.

I went to my team and apologized for my mistake. When our eyes met, some stood up and approached me. They smiled and gently patted my shoulder. 

"We understand you; take a break to catch up." One said that everyone agreed.

I smiled gently and nodded. "I'm really sorry, guys. I'll make it up to you all. I promise."

"Common, you're just a victim of having a bad day. There's no need to make it up; we all have bad days, and we meanly understand you, Abigail." Said of another one.

I just smiled shyly and apologized to them again. Bianca later told me not to practice today. She said she'll wait for my part and to do my best tomorrow, and I should rest early so I can get myself in good condition. And she added that she would take care of my subjects for today and for the rest since it's automatic that we can't attend our class since the intramurals are coming up, and all the teachers expect that the participants will be absent for a few days.

Sweating, I headed to our bathroom and cleaned myself. Then I put on a uniform. I don't want to go home yet. Aunt Anne was not at home because Mang Arlando invited her to go for a walk.

I snorted.

Aunt Anne was lucky. Her love life is clear. As for me, here, it looks busted again. I don't even know how many times I've seduced him or how many times I've been busted. But of all that, his words hurt the most. But I'm still hanging up. I don't know why—maybe because I have deep feelings for him.

Or maybe because I'm used to it?

I shook my head and sighed.

I'm not used to it. I'll never be used to it. Even to anyone who tried to give me hurtful words. It's not my cup of tea.

Time passed quickly. Bianca and I even met and asked why I hadn't come home yet when we crossed paths in the hallway. I told her my reason, and we talked for a while until the hours passed. Candy, on the other hand, did not move towards me. Twenty-four hours have passed, and her sullenness still hasn't disappeared. I want to run towards her, but my whole being feels tired. We might just fight. So instead of teasing her, I just let her go this time.

"Abigail," I said, automatically turning my attention to the voice coming from behind me.

"Jack."

He looked around before looking at me again. It stepped closer, and I also stepped back. He seemed to have noticed that, so he stopped walking towards me.

"About yesterday..."

"I understand. If you're here to apologize, it really doesn't matter to me—."

"I'm not here for that. I also have no intention of apologizing for what I said yesterday because it really was your fault."

I was swallowed by Jack's seriousness. I thought I had nothing to do with that. Why now does it seem to be there again?

I grinned.

"I didn't do anything, Jack. How could it be my fault? You see, I had just arrived on your floor when I caught up with your messy scenario." I answered sarcastically.

"Samuel started it. He insulted my boyfriend."

I slightly raised my eyebrows at his emphatic pronunciation of the last word. I want to torture him and turn him away because I will look rude in his eyes.

"And you know Troy, Abigail. He only snaps when it's too much." He added.

"Oh, then where's my fault in that scenario?" I asked and scratched my head.

"Samuel likes you, Abigail, and he can't accept that you're tailing over Troy." This is a straight answer. I was stunned for a moment.

"Y-You know?" I asked in disbelief.

"That you like Troy, and he agrees to date you because you're a nasty person?" He nodded slowly, and he also answered his question. "What do you think about the chatter of the students here?" He looked away and frowned. "I'm going to confess to you, Abigail. I don't care what you feel for Troy, because that's normal. I also understand why Troy agreed. But if they continue to fire between the both of them because of you, I will make sure  that you stay away from him."

I was left dumbfounded for a couple of seconds. Troy just told me that yesterday's was just more torture because he really pushed me away.

Save yourself. I feel so deep; how can I get out?

"I'll talk to Samuel." I just said that and looked at my things. I can't stand his presence now; the way he looks seems to have penetrated my entire being. I know him, but not that well.

I didn't expect that he already knew. But after all, there are many craters in this school; what else is surprising?

I grinned involuntarily as I walked away from Jack's bulk. If he knows, that means I can tease Troy again. That's what scares him the most, and in this case, her boyfriend confirmed in front of me that it was okay with him.

My smile did not disappear as I returned to the room. Just as the last subject is about to finish, I'll just go home with Candy; after all, she's my only problem.

But of course, when it comes to her, I should expect her cold personality when we're in this situation.

"Besides, I'll talk to you when you stop being crazy about the person who has a relationship with other that should be respected, Abigail, so get out of my way because I'm going home."

Candy really made me hard to make it

 up to her and at the same time, I decided to not to tell her just happened a few hour hour ago. It's just not fit to tell.

I snorted and followed her quick footsteps.

"Candy, don't make me chase after you! I'm already chasing Troy, and I don't want to do that to you too!" I yelled and sped up my pace as if she were really determined to ignore me. I wasn't even stopped, but some words were thrown at me.

"Who told you to chase anyone, huh? That's your choice, even if you're already hurt, so take care of your life. I don't feel sorry for you anymore because you just ignore every piece of advice I give you!" She said that and suddenly stopped. I almost hit her because I was rushing to catch up with her.

I stared at her reddened face. I want to hug her and say sorry, like I always do, but I know that won't work.

"I heard you two yesterday. Troy is sending you away, isn't he?" She raised her eyebrows and asked.

I didn't answer. So she's there? Why didn't I see her in the hallway yesterday? Was she really there, or did someone else hear us and gossip about the conversation between Troy and me?

"What's your plan?" She asked gently.

I scratched my forehead and tried to smile.

"You already know, hehe." I answered.

She blinks twice and sighes deeply. "You know what a fool you are, Aby."

"I-I know. T-That's why I'm sorry." I said, biting my bottom lips. My voice also cracks in a sudden outburst.

I admit that I am really stupid. Sometimes it's too much. What can I do? If I had stopped my stupidity, I would have given up on Troy. I cannot do it. I can't even be absent just to see him. I'd rather be stupid than let him go. I cannot do it.

I heard Candy's sigh; after a while, she came to me and extended her arm. I immediately smiled and wrapped my arm around it. She also smiled and shook her head.

"Give me a donut, then we'll be fine." She said that I didn't object, even though it would reduce my flower purchase tomorrow for Troy.