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Knowing but not Knowing
"Why can't you be moon...So that I could gaze at you without thinking its sin"
Ok that stupid pain of rejection again bloomed in my heart when today my grandmother called in.
She is something very important in my life.After my mother death,she stood for me and my brother when others don't care.
She loved us,cared for us.Her eyes showing remorse,pain and affection towards us.She was tough as stone but melted for us.I really love her.She means a lot to me.
She called for asking about how I'm doing.She used to say:
"My son is big idiot.If he ever hurt you call me.I will bang some sense into his brain through my cane"She has that cane with her which she uses for multifunctions like switching off the button of tv, grabbing the little chair towards herself so that she could lay her one leg on it.
As her one leg is swollen, due to cellulitis affecting it 2 years ago.
For also kicking my cousins or his grand childrens when they are doing somethi
Bab terkait
Cries Behind Smiles Dado Jan (Grand Ma)
After I settled in my home I continued my usual routine.Winters were coming nearer day by day.I hate winters personally because of attack of horrendous flu alongwith runny nose,teary eyes and repeatless sneezing and coughing.But I know a few preventive measures to stay away from Manhoos flu,So I can survive.The best part is Dado would soon be coming.Suddenly that kind-not-so-kind image of my grandmother came in my mind bringing a grin on my face.I really love her.She's my huge support mechanism.All these years my 'Nano Jan' and "Dado Jan" had became motherly figure for me.She's really annoying sometimes barking orders and clearly stating what she doesn't like ,accompanied by scrunching of her nose, and her signature curling of fingers in a snake shape and pointing at the accuser or may I say victim.I laughed remembering those times when she would do that to Shazia Chachi (my father's first brother wife) because she hadn't cook food yet.
Cries Behind Smiles When Right Goes Wrong
So right now I'm at Chachu's home eating breakfast as I haven't any in mine.Dadu is a bit worried.She has a kind of hospital phoebia.I don't know when she is going towards hospital she starts panicking,her hearbeat accelerate at high pace,sweat profused on her forehead."Stop panicking dado.I know you'll be fine.That is nothing big.It would be a minor urinary infection as always"I tried to soothe her a bit.She just nodded at me.We took her towards Central Hospital in urology department.Actually she wasn't feeling fine after her minor diltation in CMH.Her legs started to swell and due to continuos urination she couldn't sleep alnight.Let me tell you guys government hospital is like a minor table or place but patients are crowding like houseflies all over the place.It feels like every person in Pakistan has this disease.And don't ask me about the huge line.We had a call number of 210 .Usually we go to private urologists and have
Cries Behind Smiles He Came Back
Her health was deteriorating day by day.She was lying on hospital bed in ICU ward.Her eyes closed.Breathing ragged, drool with puss, was sometimes leaving her mouth, a cotton was wrapped up near the mouth region.Nasogastric tube was attached, connected through her nose.Her drowsy half opened eyes open once in a while to roam around the room to take us inMe and my younger Aunt(dado's youngest daughter) were standing near her bed.Everyone else was outside coming once in a while to check upon her.Our whole family was ourside the ward...there was a huge crowd.In that moment I realized she was very beloved in everybody eyes.Tears rolled down my cheeks when her eyes connected with mine conveying our last goodbyes.I was trying not to let her go,pleading with my eyes to stay,but her eyes were too tired,too tired that after few moments they dropped down.I knew she was fighter but this time she didn't want to win.SHE was losing the battle of life.
Cries Behind Smiles Tables Turning
I don't know how long my brother drove that car with red eyes,I don't know how much time we travelled,me completely numb.All memories,All her words were playing like photographic slideshow in my brain.I don't even remember when we got down.But the cold wind chilling my warm body made me realized that we are in Murree indeed.Those mountains were eating me up.Our home could be seen from distance.When we entered ,my third chachu family was there.My chachi came early to prepare.Because the world doesn't fall down when you're falling.They don't think what you're bearing, they talk about people clothes.Were their home clean? Did they gave good food on funeral? Did they meet every lady? Why was her daughter not crying? I think she doesn't care enough? Her granddaugter was crying too much,very unsophisticated.These are the stigmas of our society.They know how to raise question on those who are mourning and If their way of mourning is not appealing to them.So
Cries Behind Smiles Marriage
It was the day of my Nikkah(Marriage ceremony).I still can't grasp this fact.Everything was happening so fast that I just surrendered myself to the flow.I have to leave with him after Nikkah.We were having reception later.I was still too shocked by these huge changes in my life.My father might not give me enough love and care but he had shown his love through giving me luxurious and peaceful lifestyle.I was like a princess in his home.I never ever have to beg to anyone for anything.He provided us with everything he can give.I don't know what lies ahead.Whether my in laws would be good to me.Will they treat me well.I'm not used to do heavy hardwork.There were always servant for them.Ya Allah..let me be good wife.Give me enough strength to fulfill all my duties well.I don't wan't to disappoint anyone.They don't want to leave me like that. They want to take me with them. My Chachu didn't want to delay anymore.I still hadn't seen him.I don't care a
Cries Behind Smiles Departure
My face was veiled afterwards.A women came to me and held my hands"Slam bhabhi...I'm Zehra.I'm your husband's sister.I'm daughter of your deceased step mother's sister".She was so beautiful with brown locks and light brown eyes.She was Sabheen Khala daughter.Sabheen khala was married to Pushtoon family.I recalled that much.She died at young age due to car accident alongwith her husband.I heard they have two children.I never caught more because they move outside Pakistan afterwards.Mom sometimes visited them but I never bother to go to their house.I was not close to my step mother's relatives.We barely met at weddings and some gatherings.I never ever imagined in my whole life.I would get married in that family.Now I was literally freaking out.Oh Allah let everything be Ok.Let them be good people.What If they were like tough pushtoons who have gun attached to them.Who never mind to hit their women.No hayaat stop it.They a
Cries Behind Smiles Normal Yet Abnormal
I don't know for how long I kept sitting on floor carpet.After I gained my senses back I move towards bathroom.It was huge with black tiles, huge tub at corner parted by glass sliding.There was also walk in closet besides bathroom.Atleast the dragon has nice home.I smiled at the little nickname I have given him.I took clothes from my bag and undress myself,clothing myself in white maxy frock and white dupatta.I wash my face off and performed wudhu.I offered my esha prayers and move my hand upwards for dua.When I said Ameen and put my hands on my face in "Ameen form"I felt someone stare.Then, I removed my hands I saw him staring hard at me with amusement and intrigue.When he saw I noticed him,I questioned through my eyesWhat??He shifted his gaze and moved towards closet.Omg!!! I hate it when people don't talk what they're thinkingAhh!! Stupid psycho handsome man.I just wrapped the prayer mat and moved towards bed.I was
Cries Behind Smiles Guilty
After few seconds,I composed myself.I was so damn worried about him that I even forget to offer my Isha prayers.I'm not punctual in Namaz.I don't know I've tried so much but still I forget but since Dado's death a switch is turned on and I haven't skip a single prayer.It may be due to the irritation caused by my jerk of a husband that I need something to calm downWe humans are such mean creatures.In pain,we remember Allah like we should do anytime.Why broken hearts feel Allah so close to them.Why not in happiness.Such selfish we are.So I offered Isha prayers and slept in room besides our bedroom.It has single bed.It is kind of guestroom.I woke up early in morning.My sleep cycle is so unstable,sometimes I sleep too much and sometimes too little.Your brain is also unstable,my subconsious taunted.Oh thank you,for reminding me more of my problems.I make breakfast as usual.I was pouring the tea in cup when I feel someone settled down beside on chair
Bab terbaru
- Cries Behind Smiles His Confessions
- Cries Behind Smiles Truth and Lies
- Cries Behind Smiles Closure
- Cries Behind Smiles Destiny
- Cries Behind Smiles Closer And Closer But Faraway
- Cries Behind Smiles Nightmares
- Cries Behind Smiles Jealousy Incarnated
- Cries Behind Smiles Guilty
- Cries Behind Smiles Normal Yet Abnormal
