chapter 34

Drasa's POV

I kept staring at the video, like if I looked long enough, it would disappear. Like it would stop being real.

But it was real, and it was everywhere.

The comments felt like daggers. People I barely even knew were dissecting me, my body, the way I kissed, like I was just a piece of gossip instead of a human being.

My face was hot, my hands were cold, and I didn’t even realize I was shaking until Maya gently squeezed my wrist.

“Hey,” she said softly. “Breathe.”

I did. Barely.

My voice cracked when I finally asked, “Did you… did you see anyone outside the bathroom when you left after searching for me? Anyone who could’ve taken that video?”

Maya bit her lip, thinking hard. “I didn't stay inside for a long time after I saw you and Cassian. But… I remember someone standing by the corner near the back entrance. I didn’t get a good look, just someone holding their phone up for a second, I thought they were FaceTiming or something.”

FaceTiming or recording.

I sank deeper into the bed, curling my knees to my chest. “I feel like I’m drowning.”

“You shouldn’t,” Maya said quickly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just… being human. And besides he kissed you too, Dras. This wasn’t one-sided, don’t let those girls twist it into something it’s not at least I saw it clearly.”

“But what if he regrets it?” I whispered. “What if Cassian is out there right now telling everyone it was a mistake? What if he’s embarrassed?”

Maya shook her head firmly. “Cassian doesn’t seem like the type to hide. If he had something to say, I think he’d say it. And if he does say it was a mistake… then maybe he doesn’t deserve you anyway and that is his loss too.”

I wanted to believe her. I really did. But I couldn’t silence the storm inside me. The hurt.

The humiliation. The fear that I’d been nothing more than a moment of weakness for someone like Cassian.

My phone buzzed, I didn’t want to look, but I did.

“Cassian: Can we talk? Please….I’m outside.”

My heart dropped.

“Is that…?” Maya asked, clearly looking confused and surprised.

I nodded slowly, clutching my phone like it might burn a hole through my palm.

“He’s here.” I replied then reality set in, how did he find my hostel? I haven't even invited him over ever, then I remembered Kai the other day.

“Go out and meet him, talk to him.” Maya suggested but everything in my body shouted at me that I should stay back.

“I–I doubt if that is a great idea, after everything everyone has seen….I won't wanna draw more attention to myself.” I said, clearly fighting every urge to see him.

“Leaving him waiting wouldn't make it any better either, for what is what, I suggest you do what anyone in this situation would do.”

“And what is that?” I replied, looking at her with all seriousness.

“Go outside and talk to him…hiding away like this won't solve any of this problem Dras, just hear what he has to say, it won't kill you really.” She said, tossing her phone to the other side of the bed just then my phone buzzed again.

Cassian: Are you gonna keep me waiting D?

I stared at my phone for a while, wiped off my tears and packed my hair in buns before heading out. “I will be right back…Thank you.”

“You shouldn't mention, we look out for ourselves, remember?” She said as she prepared to lay back on her bed. “Now leave so I can sleep, my head hurts.” She added, while wearing her eyes pad again.

I sighed as I twisted the door knob before pushing it open and walking out of the room.

I walked down the dorm hall, heads were turning, lips were moving, fingers flying around but I couldn't care less, everyone always got something to say but right now I have given them more reasons to gossip.

As I walked through a group of six mixed genders, I could literally hear them call me a pushover, a shameful slut and a whore. I wanted to turn back and punch them in the face but that would be me being the center of attraction and I won't want that right now.

I pushed the door open to see Cassian staying out of his car, licking a sweet while he played with his car key. “Oh how wonderful to finally be blessed with a beautiful face like yours.” He said as he turned around and opened the passenger door. “Get in.” He said, commanding too.

I stood back, shocked by his tone and his ignorance of what was circulating. “I don't want to.” I said, instantly regretting it.

“That is up for a debate D, get in…we need to have a conversation.” He shot back at me..

“Say it out here, I am all ears.”. I folded my arms and made sure it was pressing hard against my breasts.

“And allow prying eyes on me? I told you I hate attention, so if you don't mind get in.” He said, coming close to me as he grabbed my wrist and walked me to the car without waiting to hear what I had to say.

I sat down as I adjusted my hoodie, as I was about to grab the seatbelt, I saw the prying eyes and flashes everywhere, instantly my panic set in.

Cassian got in and immediately he pushed the pad and drove off. The ride was silent, because nobody said anything, we felt like strangers taking a ride together to our different destination.

We finally got to his house in a blurr and honestly I had no idea how we got there so pretty fast. I unbuckled the seatbelt and was about to push open the car door when it flew open and Cassian was seen standing at the other end.

“Come on.” He said as he walked away.

I got down from the car, and followed him like a puppy, when we got in the first face that greeted us, at least I was greeted by Kai’s.

He looked like a mess wrapped up in a hot, smoking body. “Good morning to both of you.” He said as he walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge to take out the first thing he saw. “This should help.”

“Let's go to my room.” A familiar voice cut me through my thoughts as I came back to reality.

As I turned to look at Cassian, he was halfway to the room. Sometimes I wonder how he does that but I couldn't care less as I walked to meet him and immediately we entered the room, he shut the door and pushed a button that clicked.

“So what now?” I asked, standing a little bit away from him.

“What do you mean?” He questioned.

I raised my brows as I shot him a deadly look. “Are you serious? You said you wanted to talk, dragged me out of my dorm just to act like you don't have an idea of what I am talking about?”

“Oh right, I am sorry I didn't mean that….I just wanted to ask you out on a date.” He said and immediately my rage took control.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked, my expression totally in dissatisfaction.

“No, I am serious.” He replied.

“What the heck, you didn't only kidnap me but also kidnapped me to tell me this bag of shit? You've gotta be kidding.” I said.

I didn’t even wait for him to say another word. I turned around, yanked the door open, and stormed out of the room, my footsteps pounding against the floor like angry drums.

Of all the things I thought he might say an apology, say something about the video circulating, or even a lie, I hadn’t expected that. A date? After everything?

I was halfway to the front door when Kai’s voice floated out from the kitchen.

“Damn, that was fast, you didn’t even stay for breakfast. You sure you weren’t just a good-luck charm for his ego?”

I stopped, just for a second.

Just long enough to clench my fists and shoot him a glare immediately I turned my head. “You know, Kai, for someone who looks like they have a lot of potential, you really talk like someone who peaked in high school.”

He grinned like he’d been waiting for me to react. “Ah, there she is. Our viral queen.” He winked, biting into an apple like this was some kind of game.

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of more words. I just shook my head and walked out, slamming the door behind me.

Cassian followed, of course he did.

“Drasa, wait,” he called, jogging behind me as I quickened my pace down the driveway.

I didn’t stop. I didn’t even look at him.

“D, come on. Let me explain, I didn't mean it like that.”

I kept walking.

“Can you please just slow down?”

I couldn’t, not when my chest was burning, not when my thoughts were spiraling, not when every eye in that car, on that camera, in that dorm had already taken more from me than I ever offered to give.

He reached for my hand, and I pulled it back like it was on fire.

“You don’t get to chase me now, Cassian. Not when you don’t even know what you want, the next time you kidnap a girl, make sure it’s one who still thinks being dragged into silence is romantic.”

I turned the corner, and this time, he didn’t follow.

Back in my dorm, Maya was still in bed, one eye cracked open behind her sleep mask when I walked in.

“You okay?” she mumbled.

“No,” I replied, voice flat. “I don't feel okay.”

She sat up slowly and patted the space beside her. I crawled in without another word.

For a while, we just lay there, the weight of the world humming above us. And even though the internet might have exploded, and even though my heart felt like it was breaking in a thousand invisible places… I was still here, trying to breathe.

I tried to think and ignore the world but the harder I tried, the more difficult it was to fight back my tears. “Wanna talk about what happened with Cassian?” Maya asked, her voice soft as we curled up together.

“No please.” I pleaded with tears rolling off my eyes. I just wanted a quiet afternoon and not the one filled with thoughts.

After so much spiraling thoughts, I finally drifted away into sleep.

My eyes opened wide to a loud thud, jolting me up as I looked around to see what caused that loud noise.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up.” Maya said as she picked up a bottle from the floor.

I rubbed my eyes softly as I looked at her. “Where are you going to dress up like that?” I asked while yawning.

“Church.” She replied.

“Okay.” I replied and slept back, not really paying attention to what she said.

“Wanna come along?” She asked.

I waved my hand as I curled up with the blanket and drifted back to sleep.

My phone beeped, I didn't move, slept dead on the bed but the sound didn't stop.

With annoyance, I stood up and yanked my phone from the table. It was Cassian.

I swiped the red button which ended the call, tossed the phone on my bed as I went back to sleep but that didn't stop the phone from ringing.

The second time it rang, I picked it up and turned it off. I immediately retreated back to sleep.

Just when I was having the peace of my life, I began to hear some noises from the hallway, which made me grumble as I rolled on the bed. “What the actual fuck?” I said as I got up from the bed and walked to the door to check what was happening.

It was Cassian and of course his sidekick Kai.

“What the hell?” I muttered underneath my breath.