chapter 33

Drasa's POV

I woke up with my head pounding like someone was hammering inside my skull. The sunlight coming through our dorm window felt way too bright, and my mouth tasted awful. For a few seconds, I just lay there wondering why I felt so terrible.

Then it all came rushing back.

The party. The bathroom. Cassian's hands on me. His lips against mine. The way I had kissed him back like I was starving for him.

My face burned with embarrassment, and I quickly pulled my pillow over my head. What had I been thinking? Actually, that was the problem, I hadn't been thinking at all.

I peeked over at Maya's bed. She was still fast asleep, her hair spread across her pillow like a fan. At least she couldn't see me having a mental breakdown right now.

It was sunday morning, which meant no classes. Maybe I could just hide in bed all day and pretend last night never happened. But then I remembered I had a pile of dirty clothes that desperately needed washing.

I groaned and forced myself to sit up. My head spun a little, but I managed to gather my laundry into a basket. Maybe doing something normal and boring would help me forget about what happened with Cassian.

The school washing area was in the basement of our dorm building. It was usually pretty quiet on Sunday mornings, which was exactly what I needed right now. I just wanted to wash my clothes in peace and try to sort out my confused thoughts.

But the moment I walked into the laundry room, I knew something was wrong.

There were about six girls there, and they all turned to stare at me the second I appeared. Their eyes followed my every move as I walked to an empty washing machine. I could hear them whispering, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

I tried to ignore them and focus on loading my clothes into the machine. My hands were shaking a little as I measured out the detergent. The whispering was getting louder, and I could feel their eyes burning into my back.

"Excuse me," a voice said behind me.

I turned around to see a tall girl with blonde hair and cold eyes. I recognized her from some of my classes, but I didn't know her name. She had her arms crossed and was looking at me like I was something disgusting she'd found on the bottom of her shoe.

"Are you Drasa?" she asked, even though it was obvious she already knew the answer.

"Yes," I said quietly, my heart starting to race.

"You're the one who was kissing Cassian at the party yesterday, right?"

My stomach dropped.

"I... I don't know what you're talking about," I stammered, but my face was already turning red.

The girl laughed, but it wasn't a nice laugh. "Oh please. Everyone knows about it. You're the girl who threw herself at Cassian like a desperate slut."

The word hit me like a slap across the face. I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I tried to hold them back.

"I didn't throw myself at anyone," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"That's not what it looked like," another girl chimed in."I heard you were practically begging him to kiss you."

"That's not true," I said, louder this time. But my voice was shaking.

"God, how pathetic," the second girl said, shaking her head. "Do you really think someone like Cassian would be interested in someone like you? He was probably just drunk and feeling sorry for you."

The other girls started laughing, and each laugh felt like another knife in my chest. I wanted to run, but my feet felt frozen to the floor.

"He's way out of your league," another girl added. "What made you think you had a chance with him?"

"You're just embarrassing yourself," the first girl continued. "And embarrassing him too. He probably regrets it already."

Something inside me snapped. All the hurt and embarrassment suddenly turned into anger, burning hot in my chest.

"Shut up!" I screamed, my voice echoing off the walls of the laundry room. "Just shut up, all of you!"

They all stopped talking and stared at me in surprise.

"You don't know anything about what happened," I continued, my voice getting stronger. "And even if you did, it's none of your business! If you were in my position, wouldn't you have done the same thing? Or maybe you would have done worse!"

I was shaking with anger now, but I didn't care.

"You're all just jealous because Cassian would never look at any of you the way he looked at me," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. "So instead of dealing with your own pathetic lives, you have to pick on someone else to make yourselves feel better."

The first girl's face turned red with anger. "How dare you…”

But I didn't let her finish. I grabbed my laundry basket, even though my clothes were still in the washing machine, and stormed toward the door.

"Go find something better to do with your time," I called back to them as I left. "Like maybe learning how to mind your own business."

I could hear them shouting after me, but I didn't look back. I ran up the stairs two at a time, my heart pounding and tears finally starting to fall.

By the time I reached our dorm room, I was crying properly.

When I pushed the door open, I found Maya sitting up in bed, looking wide awake and staring at her phone with a shocked expression on her face.

"Drasa!" she said when she saw me. "Where have you been? And why are you crying?"

I dropped my laundry basket and collapsed onto my bed, burying my face in my pillow.

"What happened?" Maya asked, getting up and coming over to sit on the edge of my bed. "Did someone say something to you?"

I lifted my head and wiped my eyes. "Some girls in the laundry room. They... they knew about last night. About me and Cassian."

Maya's face went pale. "So?"

"They called me a slut," I said, fresh tears starting to fall. "They said I threw myself at him and that he was probably just feeling sorry for me.”

Maya looked down at her phone, and her expression got even more worried.

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up. "What are you looking at?"

Maya hesitated for a moment, then slowly turned her phone toward me.

"Drasa," she said quietly, "I think you need to see this."

I looked at the screen, and my whole world came crashing down.

It was a video. A video of me and Cassian kissing by the bathroom, his hands on my body, me pressed against the wall with my arms around his neck. The video was shaky and obviously taken from far away, but it was clear enough that anyone could see exactly what we were doing.

And from the number of views and comments, it looked like everyone had already seen it.