Will You Marry Me?

Tara Blackwood POV

I came back to my senses while standing in front of Kaiden, naked except for my underwear.

It would have been easy for him to rape me.

I grabbed the dress I had taken off and pulled it back on as fast as I could.

I looked at him. He was walking toward me.

His sharp eyes were locked on mine. Desire burned in them. Or maybe that was just what my shaken mind imagined.

Is he a man?

Of course he is. The sight of a young, tempting girl would pull him in.

Especially when she stands in front of him in a red nightdress.

The color that turns men into raging bulls.

Men are all the same. Creatures driven by lust. Each of them follows his cock.

He stopped right in front of me. His chest almost pressed to mine.

He stared straight into my eyes.

I looked away. He had no right to look at me like that.

He is a man who plays with women.

And I hate anyone who plays with me.

I was about to step back and put distance between us.

But I felt his fingers clamp around my jaw.

With one rough move, he forced my face up to his.

At the same time, he pulled me closer.

That was when my nose caught the smell of alcohol on him.

Is he drunk?

If he is, that would explain this.

He had been gone all week.

So why show up like this now?

I lifted my hands and placed them on his chest, pushing him weakly.

I had no strength to argue with him.

No strength to scream either.

But why would I scream at him?

He is not someone close to me.

Still, anger burned inside me.

Because he ignored me that day.

Because he vanished for a whole week without a word.

It bothered me. More than I wanted to admit.

"Go to your wife, Mr. Kaiden Draven. It is midnight. I am sure she wants you in her bed."

I said the first thing that came to my mind.

And it was true.

Why would he come to me when he had a wife that beautiful?

Why not go and fuck her instead of messing with an engaged woman?

"My relationship with her is none of your business."

Did he not realize how his harsh tone hurt me?

How his grip on my jaw hurt me?

"I am not interfering. I am just saying it is better than playing with an engaged woman."

My voice came out thick with pain.

The moment I finished speaking, his pupils dropped.

Straight to my lips.

He had not looked away from my eyes since he walked in.

I pushed his hand away when I felt his grip loosen.

Then I walked straight toward the bathroom.

He did not stop me.

He did not grab me like he usually did.

I did not want to be in the same place as him anyway.

The second I stepped inside the bathroom, I locked the door and leaned my back against it.

Why did he come if he was not going to speak calmly?

If he was not going to explain his absence?

If he was not even going to kiss me?

I hate being ignored.

I hate when someone hurts me and does not explain or apologize.

I wiped away a tear that escaped my cheek because of him.

I did not even cry because of Ethan Roilan.

I cried because what Kaiden did scared me.

I walked to the sink and turned on the water.

I took off all my clothes once the tub filled with hot water and soap.

The weather was changing. October had arrived.

I sank into the warm water.

It soothed my body and my mind.

I wanted to sleep here.

Leaving this comfort felt impossible.

I dipped my head under the water to wet my hair, then lifted it again.

I had not washed my hair all week because of the wound.

But it had dried now. A little water would not hurt.

I just hoped I would not find him when I stepped out.

He is not the man I should be thinking about.

I had already wasted a whole week thinking about him.

Then I remembered Ethan.

My fiancé.

"There are only two months left until our wedding. I am thinking of moving it up to one month."

That is what he said.

I feel like we are far from being a real engaged couple.

No sweet words.

No compliments.

No intimate touches.

No late night phone calls.

No romantic nights together.

Our relationship lacks so much.

It needs moments that stay in memory.

Moments that never fade.

Romantic acts from both sides.

Because both sides are the base of any relationship.

What he did that day was not on purpose.

I know that.

I know he was angry about something.

At least that is how it looked to me.

I was in another country after all.

He never showed me his violent side.

Not once.

Not during the six years I spent in therapy with him.

Ethan Roilan was always kind.

Always gentle.

That square smile of his always gave me strength.

So much happened between us.

I do not want to lose him over one moment of anger.

That is what he called it.

And I believed him.

Lies are easy to catch with him.

I have seen that many times.

I understand that anger can blind people.

Everyone expresses it differently.

But Ethan Roilan’s way was never like that.

I do not want to lose him.

Because aside from that day, he did so much for me.

He would leave his work and fly to Italy whenever my mental health fell apart.

So many things.

Things that never helped me see him as anything other than a loyal friend.

I know he does not see me as just a friend.

When he asked for my hand, I was too shy to refuse.

Even in that moment, I still saw him as a friend.

And that moment also proved something else.

He no longer saw me as just his patient.

That moment.

Flashback

Duomo Square. Milan. Italy.

I was standing there.

At a place Ethan Roilan chose.

I did not want to come.

But he insisted.

So I agreed.

I knew it was something simple.

Something about my mental health, as usual.

I sat on one of the benches after my legs gave up from standing.

He was never on time.

He told me to be there at seven in the evening.

Now it was seven thirty.

"If he does not come in ten minutes, I am leaving."

I said to myself.

I had my reasons.

First, I had a lot of tasks waiting for me.

And I did not even have a therapy session with him that day.

Second, night was falling.

A girl alone at night is not safe.

Especially after what I went through.

Finally, he appeared.

Why did he look so elegant?

Was he coming from a party?

I asked myself while looking at his clothes.

If I had known, I would have worn a dress instead of pants.

Damn it.

Why did I not listen to my mother when she told me to wear a dress?

He sat next to me.

A charming smile curved his lips.

The most beautiful smile I had ever seen on his face.

Why was he so happy?

He took my hands that rested on my thighs.

I always stopped him from close touches.

So what was he doing now?

I felt his hands tremble.

Why was he like this?

"Tara..."

He stopped himself before finishing.

That made me lift my gaze to his eyes.

I had been staring at our hands.

"Speak, Ethan. What is it?"

My patience was gone.

Still, he said nothing.

Instead, he stood up.

I did the same.

Then, suddenly, he dropped to one knee.

A scene I had seen in so many movies and shows.

My mind froze when he pulled a red box from his pocket.

I love romantic movies.

I watch them all the time.

I know exactly what that box holds.

But was it meant for me?

He opened it.

Inside was a delicate ring.

Perfect for my taste.

"Tara, will you marry me?"

He was terrible at romantic speeches.

The kind that stay in memory.

I always dreamed of a proposal like the ones in the shows I watched.

But that was not what I should have been thinking about.

Who else could make me feel as safe as I did with him?

I know I would never allow another man to get close to me like that.

Not after everything I went through.

But I only saw him as a friend.

How could I see him as a fiancé?

As a husband?

As the father of my future children?

What would I lose if I said yes?

Nothing.

Ethan Roilan is a good man.

Understanding. Patient.

As for my feelings, I would hide the truth until it changed.

"I accept. Yes. I do."

I said it.

I saw a light in his eyes I had never seen before.

Was he really that happy?

Just because I said yes?

Did he love me that much?

And I only saw him as a friend.

End of Flashback

The memory played in my mind like a movie.

I lifted my hand and spread my fingers.

I stared at the ring shining on my finger.

I whispered to myself,

"You have a little feeling for him. You will love him.

You will see him as a man for his woman, not just a friend.

Because friendship between a man and a woman is not the same as friendship between two of the same gender."

But until today, nothing changed.

That pure friendship was still there.

Sometimes, when I sink deep into thought, I regret it.

I regret accepting him as my fiancé when I never saw him as more than a friend.

Because even if we break up, nothing will ever be the same.

That is impossible.

My view of him may not change.

But what about him?

I would hate myself for letting him suffer.

Because I know he does not see me the way I see him.

That is another flaw in me.

I think of others before myself.

That is why I try to be a little selfish.

I try to let my mind choose what is best for me.

I thought too much.

And I know that ninety percent of my thoughts are just fears.

Things that will never happen.

I stood up from the tub.

The warm water helped my mind clear a little.

I stepped under the shower to rinse the soap off my body.

Minutes passed as water flowed from my head down to the floor.

Could he still be here?

I asked myself as I stepped out of the glass shower.

I reached for the towels.

I wrapped one around my body.

The smaller one around my hair.

A part of me wanted to see him sitting on the bed.

Or on the vanity chair.

Anywhere in the room.

Most of my thoughts about him came during moments of heavy drunkenness.

I opened the bathroom door slowly.

I peeked out first.

No one was there.

A sad breath left my chest.

I did not want him to leave so easily after being gone for a whole week.

His absence hurt me.

So did his cold behavior that day.

I had no right to question him.

No right to blame him.

Maybe what he did was better for both of us.

We should not cross that line.

This is our reality.