In My Red Panties

Tara Blackwood POV

A whole week has passed, and my chest still feels tight for reasons I do not understand.

I never went back to the company because of Kaiden Draven’s threat. Instead, I used that time to take care of my body and my looks, the way I used to before work swallowed all my hours.

I also took care of the flowers I bought, placing them along the edges of my balcony railing. They gave the balcony a soft, charming look.

The backyard is full of roses, but the ones on the balcony feel different. They have a special touch. I had not done this in years until I started again now, and that has everything to do with my mental state.

Waking up in the morning and having the first thing my eyes land on be beautiful flowers feels really good. I am a woman who loves flowers and pretty, gentle things, especially small ones.

I have always loved flowers. I paint them too, my favorite kinds. They help me heal. They clear my mind and quiet my thoughts.

Speaking of healing, my head wound no longer hurts like it used to. I am also on a proper diet now, one that helps me work out and replace what my body lost during the last period.

I have not seen Kaiden Draven even once since the day I left the hospital. I still do not understand why he treated me so coldly and carelessly that day, or why he changed so suddenly.

I even went to the gym several times, hoping I might see him, but he never showed up. It was like he vanished.

Since that day, Ethan Roiland has been apologizing nonstop. Damn my soft heart.

Sometimes I hate how kind I am, even though my father says it is what makes me special. Kindness can be very painful when you give it to the wrong people.

This is the hardest slap life has ever given me.

I forgave him.

I forgave Ethan. He begged me with nothing but words, and I forgave him just so he would stop talking my head off.

But even though I forgave him, what he did that day dragged everything I tried to bury back to the surface.

I truly tried not to pull away from him, to go along with any sudden behavior he showed.

And I am going to be his wife. There might be many fights between us, or maybe none at all. I really hope there will be none.

I have to get used to some problems with him. We rarely fight, mostly because he is a rational man. But lately, he has been losing that part of himself, or maybe circumstances and pressure pushed him into this state.

He refuses to explain why he is angry or why he feels so bad. He does not want to talk. He does not want to share anything.

Yet at the same time, he has changed. He pays more attention to me than he used to.

I honestly do not know anymore. My heart does not lead me toward him, and my mind cannot make a final choice. Everything inside me feels scattered.

As for Mira, about an hour ago we were sitting in my room, drinking. The alcohol is still in my system, and I can still smell it on me.

Her boyfriend came to pick her up because she left unable to even open her eyes from how drunk she was.

She asked me to stay up with her. It is past midnight now. Even though I have to wake up early tomorrow, I am still awake.

I needed to drink. I needed my mind to drift away for a while.

A red silk nightdress is all that covers my body right now.

My hair is messy, and the light makeup on my face is slightly ruined.

I changed in front of Mira and put it on. I doubt she will ever forget that.

What can I say. This is just one of my habits.

Wearing sexy clothes, making myself look like a whore who just had a good fuck, holding a bottle and drinking until I am wasted. It is a habit that clings to me, especially in certain moments.

Moments when my mental state is falling apart.

With unsteady, swaying steps, I walked toward the balcony after the sound of raindrops hitting the glass pulled me in.

I wanted fresh air too. The bottle was still in my hand. I had not finished it.

I opened the balcony door wide and stepped forward, letting the rain hit my head and soak my hair.

I stayed like that for minutes, until my dress was completely wet and stuck to my body, while I stared at the street without moving.

I just felt the rain against my skin.

The street was empty and very quiet, except for the sound of rain hitting the ground and the tiled rooftops. It was a soothing sound.

What broke the stillness, just as I lifted the bottle toward my lips, was the figure of a large man. He was not unfamiliar, but my alcohol soaked mind could not identify him.

He was wearing formal clothes. That was all my brain could process.

I followed his slow steps along the sidewalk across from my balcony. His clothes were completely soaked.

It was not strange. I love rain too. I love dancing under it when I am drunk. I just did not want to do that right now.

He stopped.

And my eyes stopped moving with him.

I took a swallow from the bottle and did not look away.

He lifted his head and looked up at where I was standing.

A few seconds passed before I realized the man standing there was Kaiden Draven.

That bastard never left my mind after he disappeared so suddenly.

I do not want to see him. He clearly did not want to see my face.

He was just playing with me.

His kiss. His sweet way of treating me. All lies my mind believed.

The thought that I was being toyed with made me cry and drink until I was drunk.

I took the last of the bottle and placed it on the balcony floor.

I wanted to throw it at him, but I held myself together with the last drop of awareness I had left.

I gave him one last look. His eyes were fixed on mine.

My head felt heavy, blocking so many things, so I could not tell what kind of look he was giving me.

What could it be?

Longing, maybe?

How stupid.

Who am I for him to miss me?

Of course he was staring at what I was wearing.

The bastard was playing with me, and I am not someone to be played with.

I stepped back twice while he kept looking at me. Then I grabbed the balcony door handles and slammed them shut hard.

I lifted my wet hair away from my face with my fingers.

What brought him here anyway? He does not even live in this neighborhood.

Damn it. My head started to ache from overthinking.

I grabbed the hem of my dress and lifted it, pulling it off my body completely.

I was left wearing nothing but my red panties.

I was not wearing a bra either.

The sound of my bedroom door unlocking made me turn toward it. The door opened.

My body reacted on instinct, defensive, because my mind was too heavy to even think of grabbing something to hit the intruder with.

The person stepped inside.

Kaiden Draven. Again.

What the hell was he doing here?

And how did he even get in?

Mira was supposed to have locked the door before she left.