Three

They kept staring at me with widened eyes. I knew my aunt was so shocked to hear my refusal of this relationship, knowing fully well that I had made a promise to move on. Well, this wasn't something that was so easy. There was really no way I could forget about the woman I loved, in only two months. 

Tanya and I had been friends for five years. Afterwards, we had made a decision to create a relationship between us. Yes, she had always been mean and blatant when speaking hurtful words, but that hadn't made me stop loving her. Literally, before I had caught her with another man, I had decided to propose to her. Little had I known that she had been hanging around with other men. 

A river of carbon dioxide eluded my nostrils, and I looked away from them. "This is my decision. I'll be upstairs, if anyone needs me. But…" I turned to them. "Please, no one should try to influence my decision. Instead, respect it." 

With that, I made my way to the stairs, heading to my room. As I did so, Peggy began lamenting, but I just couldn't pay attention to that right now. I had to relax first. 

***

Okay, yes. I would admit that I was pretty embarrassed to know that I had broken my promise to my aunt. She had been so, so excited that I was finally going to take action in helping myself, but well, I had broken that promise once again. That was pretty shameful. I hadn't even gone downstairs to have dinner. 

Grabbing my laptop, I stepped into the balcony. For a while, I needed to relax, so I guessed staring out at the view from the balcony would be a good option. I didn't think twice before walking towards the guardrail. I leaned over it, and sighed out loud, worshipping the beauty of the night clouds.

Tanya. Once again, she was all I could think of. No matter how hard I tried to get her off my mind, it wasn't working. Why had I made myself fall in love with her this much? What had I done to myself?

The door of the balcony sounded, which pulled me off my thoughts. Turning around to take a glimpse at who had stepped in, I exhaled on seeing my maid, Kate. I just looked away, and walked over to my laptop.  

"What do you want? I haven't asked you to bring anything for me, have I?" I questioned her. I sat on the blue furry couch by the center of the large balcony, grabbed my laptop from the small table in front of me, turned it on, and cleared my throat before glancing at her. 

As always, her hands were behind her, her eyes down. "S-Sir." Of course, she stammered. That was something she always did. "Miss Rhonda needs to see you. She asked me to inform you about it."

Something tickled the pit of my stomach. I was nervous. I had been expecting her to come around, and yes, it was going to happen. 

"Let her come in," I ordered, being quite reluctant about it. 

"Okay."

She stepped out of the balcony. As soon as she did so, I took a breath. I was never scared of anything, but speaking to my aunt felt crazy and maybe creepy. 

Hearing the sound of the door, I stood up, and walked to her before she reached me. My hands linked behind me, my eyebrows raising at her. 

"Hi." I tried as much as possible to sound polite. 

She swallowed. "And, what is this? A game?"

"Aunt, it's not—"

"Are you not worried about your own life?" A tear escaped her eye. She sniffled, swallowed, and blinked to probably hold back her tears. "Wait, did you agree to it only to break your promise?"

"See, I-I'm not ready yet. I mean, I… don't think I can do it," I explained  

She took my hands. "Ivan, you're like a son to me. You're as important as your cousin, Raymond. I love you the same way I love my own children. Ever since you came into my life, I've been so blessed everyday. So, it hurts to see you not moving on in life."

I sighed. "I understand you. Yes, truly, I want to make y'all happy. I know you wish me well. But—"

"But what?" That came out in a whisper. She raised her hands to my jaw, gently cupping them around it. "Sweetheart, what's going on? What's happening to you? I've been extremely worried about you. You keep asking me why I look so tired all the time. The truth is, I do have sleepless nights  worrying about you. Your father abandoned you, and gave you to me. My duty is to make you live a good life."

"Aunt…" I gulped. "I still love Tanya very much. I'm sorry, but I can't like anyone else for now. I wanna get rid of her, but it's not working."

"Tanya?" she whispered. She moved her lips for a while, but instead of uttering words, she only kept crying. The way her hands pulled away from my jaw made it seem like she lost control of them. Abruptly, she sobbed, shaking her head gently. She looked angry, scared, and bitter. Yes, I understood those emotions in her eyes. 

"Hm." I nodded. 

She chortled. "Is this how much you respect me? You want to be with the woman who hit the person you see as a mom? Ivan, she hit me about three times. She knocked my head against the wall. And, for goodness sake, she cheated on you. Are you this blinded by your love for her?"

"Yes, but—"

"No!" Once again, she cut me off. "She's not the right one for you. While you guys were dating, you always had one issue or another. You never agreed with anything. How can you make her your soulmate? Is she even fit for a woman you wanna spend the rest of your life with? Do you want her to get you killed?"

I looked away. "Yes, I get you." My voice was low and shaky as if there were rocks in my vocal cord. "She did all of those. And, that's the reason I decided to separate from her. But, the truth is, I'm incomplete without her."

"Have you even tried looking for a better woman? Have you attempted to love someone else?" She pulled my jaw, so I'd look at her. "Please, Ivan. It hurts my heart to see you this way. Take a first step by meeting up with the lady. She's from a very good home, and I know it. Her parents and I are good friends. We've known each other for twenty five years."

I sighed in confusion. "I'm just… tired of everything. My life never stops being a mess. When things began falling apart for me, I always had hope that before I turned thirty, I'd be fine. But, at the age of thirty one, everything's still so terrible for me. It's unfair."

She whimpered. "I'm so sorry, my boy. Guess I've not tried my best for you. My plan has always been to make you happy. But, it just isn't working. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

A bit emotional, I smiled. I rubbed my thumb finger against her cheek, wiped off her tears, and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Aunt, don't say that ever again. You're the most supportive person in my life. I appreciate everything you do for me. You never make me miss my parents. You've been everything in my life."

"Honey, please go to her tomorrow evening. You'll like her." She smiled as well, swallowing her tears. "I assure you of that. Please, do."

After a moment of being silent, I sighed in surrender, and nodded in defeat. "Okay. I'll go. I'll move on."

Saying that, her face beamed with that cute smile. "That's my boy." She stepped close, and embraced me tightly. 

I shut my eyes as we hugged. I was trying so much to hold back my pain. 

Finally, this was happening. I was going to move on. It still felt so unreal. 

***

My aunt and Peggy eventually concluded that I had my date at the restaurant. Well, I agreed with that. I rented the entire place for the evening, and had specially asked the restaurant owner to design my table with artificial roses. It was really, really weird that I had spent so much money on something I was apathetic to. 

I scrolled through my mail, rolling my eyes anytime I spotted a message from work. I had told them that they shouldn't bother me for the evening, but they never seemed to listen to me. A bit frustrated, I dropped the phone on the table, exhaling as if the pressure of the whole world was borne on me. 

Glancing at my wristwatch, the crinkling sound of heels hitting the hard marble floor beneath me, caught my attention. It made me move my eyes in the direction of the door, which was where the sound was coming from. And, when my eyes caught the creature that was walking toward me, I felt something chirp in my heart. Was this the same person in the pictures I had been seeing?

As she walked gently, her hips swayed back and forth like a runway model's. The black pencil gown she wore hugged her body, outlining the moderate curves she possessed. My eyes moved a bit upward, and the heat I felt made me think my heart would crush due to my admiration for her. She flipped her long, brown hair past her shoulder, those cognac brown eyes moving around as if they were seeking something. Between them, her nose stood straight, seeming unnatural and smooth. She blinked slowly, smiled warmly, sat gently by the other side of the table, and cleared her throat. 

"Don't stare too much. I'm just a human. Rae Tyrone is my name," she stated. 

I blinked like a maniac. After hearing her speak, I realized that my jaw had been dropped all along. 

Gosh, this was embarrassing. But woah, was this person a goddess? 

---