CHAPTER 3

She tucked her ombré hair behind her ear. “You told Tina she wasn’t.”

“I didn’t tell Tina a damn thing.” I opened my car door and got in, starting it before she could speak again.

There was no way I could hold a conversation with her and not want to break down. I knew I wouldn’t get away with this trip to Santa Monica unscathed—but I thought I might be able to make it longer than a few hours without seeing the girl I spent my life attached to, my best friend.

Without seeing his family. Milka’s family.

I drove out of the parking lot and towards the house. I couldn’t think of it as mine yet. I didn’t know what I was doing with it yet. If I could move it to Charlotte, it would be perfect. . . . But I couldn’t. The house was here, and . . .

I shook my head. I was not doing this today. There was plenty of time to make that decision. Right now, I had to focus on getting through today. On getting through this fucked-up situation I caused.

I killed the engine in the driveway and got out as Leah’s car stopped directly behind mine. I rubbed my temples. Dammit, I should have known she wouldn’t let this go. She was as stubborn as they come.

“Oh, hell no, Chloe Hudson. You ain’t walkin’ away without telling me some truths, girl.”

Milka clinged to me tightly as I pulled her out. “Can you not, around Milka? She’s not used to yelling.”

“Sorry.” Leah winced and popped the trunk of my car.

“What’re you doin’?” I asked as she started pulling my shopping bags out of the trunk.

“I’m not leaving until you’ve started talking. Are you gonna open this door or what? These bags are freakin’ heavy.”

I sighed and slammed the trunk down. I unlocked the front door, and Leah strolled in, depositing the bags in the kitchen.

“Sars, Mama! Sars!” Milka cried, reaching for the bags on the floor.

“Okay, okay, hang on.” I placed her down and grabbed a packet of the chips.

She snatched the bag from me and dug her little hand in.

“What do you say?”

She shoved a chip in her mouth and looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. Damn, that look was too cute.

“Milka.”

She grinned. “Tankoo.”

“Good girl.” I kissed the top of her head and joined Leah in the kitchen to put the groceries away.

Leah’s eyes followed me as I moved around the kitchen. I wrinkled my nose as I emptied out the fridge of the old, rotten food left over from before Dad died. The smell made me want to vomit, and I breathed through my mouth.

“Ew.” I grabbed a garbage bag and filled it with the contents of the fridge, dumping it in the trash can in the backyard. “Shoulda come back sooner.”

Leah handed me cleaning spray and a paper towel, wordlessly, her eyes still searing into me.

“Thanks,” I muttered, knowing her questioning was inevitable. I got sucked into cleaning the inside of the fridge. My stomach was rolling, huge somersaults that ignited a guilt-ridden nausea.

“So,” Leah said quietly. “Were you ever going to come back?”

I shrugged a shoulder. “Eventually. I knew Dad was going to die and that I’d have to sort it out if Paul wasn’t here.”

“Doesn’t he come back in a couple months?”

“Yep.”

“So why bother coming back? Your dad died months ago. Why not just stay wherever the hell you fucking disappeared to two and a half years ago?”

I glare at Leah. “Can you keep your voice down? It might not bother you, but shouting in front of Milka sure as hell bothers me.”

Leah stared at me. “I’m sorry. I’m just so friggin’ angry with you, Chloe. Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

My eyes travelled to Milka as I closed the fridge door slowly and leaned against it. The cloth fell from my fingers to the floor, and I heard Leah’s sigh.

“She’s the reason you left. . . . Isn’t she?”

“I told you I’m not answering questions I’m not ready to.” I winced as Milka crushed a handful of chips into the carpet and prayed Dad’s vacuum still works. I pulled the fridge open again and started filling it with new, fresh food. “I don’t owe you anything, Leah. I don’t have to answer you.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Take it however you want.”

“I’m her aunt, aren’t I? She’s Conor’s daughter.” She continued like I never said anything. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I placed the milk in the fridge door and shut it. “Hey, you,” I said, ignoring Leah. Milka looked up at me. “Ready for your nap?”

“No nap! No nap!”

I rolled my eyes and walked outside, grabbed the travel crib from the car, and brought it inside. Milka was still repeating her pre-nap mantra as I took it upstairs and set it up. I tucked her favorite blanket in it before heading back downstairs to her. I retrieved her dolly from the front room and picked my baby up, batting crumbs off her little hands.

“Nap time.”

“No nap! No nap! No nap!”

I took her upstairs and deposited her in the crib with a kiss on her forehead. “Sleep tight, baby girl. I love you.”

I closed the door behind me and left her there, still chanting “No nap! No nap!” She’d give up in a few minutes and lie down. Knowing that fact was one of those crazy things I could appreciate in this insane upheaval of both of our lives.

Leah watched me as I entered the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice. “You can’t hide this, y’know?” she pushed. “You can’t hide her. Tina will have it halfway around town already.”

“You think I don’t know that?” I snapped, turning to look at her. “You think I don’t know that by tomorrow Milka will be common knowledge in this goddamn town?”

“Oh, I know you know it, Chloe. I’m just wondering how long you thought you’d keep her a secret.”

“As long as I possibly could. It’s what was best for everyone. And no, before you ask, I’m not ashamed of her. But I have my reasons, and I don’t have to justify them to you.”

Leah raised her eyebrows. “No, but you have to justify them to my brother.”

“Get out,” I said firmly, meeting her eyes. “Whether or not I do is not your business, Leah. Neither is Milka. Until you understand that and can respect my decisions, no matter how wrong you might think they are, I don’t want you here.”

She pushed off the kitchen counter and shook her head, her eyes shadowing with sadness. “What the hell happened to you, Chloe?”

“I became a mom, that’s what. And she comes first. Even before you.”

I rested my head against the back of the seat and blew out a long breath.