VI

"Emilia? Can I borrow the lipstick you had on this morning? I'm going to try on a new makeup look tonight." Violet asks. She ruffles her hair and scoots close to me. I stare at her, and I see her roll her eyes.

"Violet?"

"Yes?"

"Where's the lipstick I gave you? You promised you'd return it." I fold my hands across my chest and tilt my head, showing her that I wasn't joking around. It's been three weeks since I arrived at St. Aurelia. Three weeks since my life gradually started changing, and three weeks since I met Violet.

Needless to say, Violet was always fond of things like this, and it only happened to me. She would take my stuff and forget to give it back. Well, I don't know if she ever forgets, but she never returns them. I've been trying to be patient with her, but seeing as she was about to borrow Emilia's thing, I already knew where this was going.

"Oh." She says with a small smile on her lips. "So about that, I don't know where I put them, but I promise to get you a new one by next week." She says. I give her a long stare and finally nod my head. I knew she was lying, but let's see.

"When are we going to start this event anyways? My legs hurt so much." Emilia complains. I mean, she wasn't wrong. We've been standing under the tent for close to an hour while the third years did whatever they had to do. I had no clue what was going on. They just left us in the dark.

Nevertheless, we all knew the reason why we were in the courtyard tonight. It was because of the Candle Procession tradition. A part of me was curious and a little eager and I tried not to let that get to my head and electrocute my brains.

"Hey Emilia." A girl with short bangs approaches the three of us. She smiles at Violet and me and then focuses her attention on Emilia.

" I've been looking around for you. Who are these two?" She asks.

I shift on my feet. I didn't like meeting new people and so far so good, it's just been Violet and I. Emilia wasn't really close to us both. We only met and spoke over dinner and that's where it ended. I didn't know much of her.

"June!"

Emilia hugs the girl with the short hair when she finally reaches us. June turns toward Violet and me.

"Guys, this is June, my roommate." She says excitedly. Her eyes held that brightness even under this dark tent.

"June, these are my friends. Violet and Clara. We met during orientation. I promise you'll love them!"

wait what?

I hope it's not what I'm thinking. I don't like meeting new people or talking to new ones either. It felt very claustrophobic for me and made me extremely uncomfortable. And don't get me started on my stupid rambles I make when I'm nervous. I felt like a fool at times.

"Hey guys." I look up at June who was already staring at me. "I think I've seen you around campus before. You look very familiar. What's your room number?" She asks me, smiling and showing all the front teeth.

Violet on the other hand doesn't say much but I knew she was irritated. For some reason, she didn't get along well with Emilia. I had only discovered it a few days ago and I was tempted to ask her why.

"Um, room 19. We're roommates." I nudge Violet with my shoulder and she immediately lets her hands fall to her sides. She doesn't say anything. June eyes Violet for a few seconds before nodding her head and looking back to Emilia.

"Since you two are pairing up for the candle procession, I think you and I should." June giggles. "It's going to be iconic."

"Sounds good," Emilia answers.

"Positions!"

A voice suddenly calls out. We all snap our heads to see a woman at the very front. It was a nun. She had on a very thick frame of glasses and a very stern look. She reminded me of my aunt.

It looked like everyone suddenly knew what to do and we—June, Emilia, Violet and I—just stood under the tent looking as confused as ever. From across the yard, I see the older students start moving their feet. They were approaching us first-years under the tent.

I clutch my sweater tightly, swallowing the lump in my throat. Yes, I admit that I'm excited and curious about this little tradition thing they had going on but I was a little scared. A part of me felt tensed for some odd reason, but I try not to allow it to affect me.

A few of the older students approached our tent. I couldn't quite hear them from where I stood as I was shoved right at the back.

"They're arranging us and giving us our lanterns." Violet leans in to whisper. Her brown eyes meet mine. "Are you okay?"

“I'm fine. I'm just a little tense, that's all.” I say. I offer her a small smile to reassure her that I'm indeed okay and that nothing was wrong. Those were some of the things I liked about Violet. As crazy and confusing as she could be, I knew she had a soft heart. Underneath all her tough exterior, she was a sweetheart, but she refuses to admit it.

It all happened so fast. We were arranged into our rows and handed our lanterns. The girl who handed me mine was kind of rude, and I felt off about her when she kept staring me down and glaring at me the whole time.

I manage to stay close to Violet, making sure I don't lose sight of her amongst the crowd. She knew how terrified I was of crowds so we made sure we were very close.

"From darkness, we enter light." The nun with the glasses speaks again. Her voice was really loud and authoritative. I wonder how everyone heard her without her needing help or a microphone. But I guess everything here was possible and very much shocking.

Suddenly, I felt my cheeks warm up and my excitement course through my entire body when the lanterns were lit. The courtyard was starting to brighten up, and it was all so beautiful.

It brought a different vibe to the atmosphere, and my happiness only increased.

I have heard of the Candle Procession before, but I never really got to experience it while growing up. Growing up was very different from the average life of a twenty-year-old.

I grew up with my Dad.

My Mom passed away a few months after I was born, so it was just the two of us for as long as I could remember. Dad never really talked about her. He never really did. Whenever I asked, he would find a way to change the subject or suddenly become very busy with something that could have waited.

Eventually, I stopped asking. Not like he would give me an answer either way.

Religion wasn't really practiced in our house either. Dad never believed in God. I knew part of the reason had something to do with my Mom's death, but he never actually told me what happened between him and his faith. It was one of those things I learned not to touch.

I, on the other hand, didn't really care about religion.

I don't think I even knew what it meant to believe in something I couldn't see.

I was ten when a group of men came to our street for evangelism. It happened to be my birthday, which I thought was incredibly unfortunate because I had been expecting cake and presents, not strangers telling me about a God who lived somewhere in the sky.

I was taught of a father who they said would listen and protect me. I was taught that this same God would love me unconditionally even if I was a sinner. Even if I sinned multiple times, but still came to his feet for forgiveness, he'd give it freely.

I remember thinking that sounded nice. Almost too nice to be true, but you couldn't blame a ten-year-old.

Because what kind of person forgives you every single time? I didn't understand it, and maybe I still don't.

As I continue to reminisce about my life back home, I hear a loud shriek in the front row. By this time, we were very close to the chapel.

"Who the fuck screams like that?" Violet asked in annoyance.

This was the worst time to be a short woman because I couldn't make out what was happening. Everyone turned to mumble to each other, chattering in confusion.

Abruptly, but gradually, the environment started getting dark as I watched in confusion. Everyone's lantern was turning off, one after the other.

"Are you guys okay? " Emilia asks from where she is. June stands by her side, glancing at Violet and me.

"Yes, we're good. It's not windy, so why are the lanterns burning out? A few of the girls' lanterns are knocked out already." Violet answers. Her eyebrows knit in confusion.

We were all baffled.

Everyone had stopped in their spot. We all slowed down.

And just like that, everyone's candles were burnt out, leaving us in the darkness. I hear some girls mumble around me, but I don't bother to listen.

"Stay where you are! We don't know what's going on, but we're doing our best to figure it out." Sister Agnes screams into the dark air.

I feel my hand start to tremble slightly, and the hair on my neck stands. This was starting to feel too eerie.

" Shit, this is way too weird for my liking. Hey, don't push me." June's voice booms, and I squint my eyes to try to find her amongst the crowd.

" Wait a minute," Violet whispers, but not too low.

" Clara." Violet's voice was low this time around, almost concerning.

"What? What's happening?" I feel my throat tighten and my words rush out of my lips. Why wasn't she saying anything?

My eyes trace the outline of her face, and I feel the anxiety in my pit twist and hit my guts.

"Clara, Clara, your lantern is still burning." She finishes her words. "It still has a light glow."

What?!

I look down at my candle. She wasn't telling a lie. My candle was still warm, and I raised it to eye level. How is this happening? This isn't weird, right? This is completely normal.

Even though my candle was still burning, it still stood out slightly in the crowd.

"Hey, your candle is still burning." A girl close to me commented, and I feel my breath hang in my chest.

Then my lantern does the weirdest thing. It burns more, brighter and faster, and I immediately drop it on the floor.

Everyone's attention had slowly started turning towards me, and I hated it. I wanted to hide my face, and I couldn't be more grateful for the dark.

Why was my lantern the only one glowing?