Chapter 4

I know what you are, Connor, a werewolf. In my head, I practiced several times to approach him.

Exiting the school bus, I looked for his bike, and my heart beat irregularly seeing it parked at its usual spot with his brother's jeep.

As I entered the school, I took out the paper I'd printed last night to show him when I'd garnered enough strength to confront him again.

My cheeks burned red recollecting my last encounter with him, and I felt this warmth around my waist as if his hands were there again.

Today is Valentine's Day.

Beautiful red hearts with curly white ribbons decorating the ceiling greeted me along the hallway.

Red ribbons with tiny, shiny plastic hearts adorn everyone's lockers, and a large poster along the wall promotes our Valentine's party for tonight.

I went into my locker for my first session textbook before finding Connor, and like every Valentine's Day, I'm expecting my locker to be empty and without a gift.

On this day, it was normal for one to find roses, chocolate, or any other Valentine's gift inside their locker from their secret admirers or boyfriend.

This final year for my Valentine's Day at Dims-Wood High, I was astounded by the red rose lying on top of the English desk book I wanted and the fact that I had an admirer.

In disbelief that a male here finds me attractive, I stood there staring at the single crimson rose, if it were real, and I was just imagining it was there. I held it between my thumb and forefinger, staring down at it and wondering who thought of me as beautiful--the most undesirable being.

It wasn't a disappointment for me to never receive a gift on Valentine's Day at Dims-Wood High, as my father disowned me from birth, and my mother can't bear to look at me or consider me as her daughter. So, if my parents don't even like me, why should I think some random guy would?

My eyes immediately moved from the rose, and I saw Connor turning left into the hallway. My heart felt like it dropped into my stomach to see him.

As he's no longer in my sight, I looked back down at the rose, wondering if he was the one who gave it to me. I had never received any gift for Valentine's Day until he came here.

The hope that Connor had given me the rose was crushed when a tenth grader whose locker is beside me opened up her locker to not find her rose.

"Where is the rose you said you placed here?" She said, upset with her boyfriend, who was standing beside her.

He stared surprisingly into her locker, and soon his head turned to me to see that he'd mistakenly placed it into my locker instead. I swiftly gave it to her. An ache came in my heart as I quickly walked away.

Clumsily, I accidentally bounced into a couple that were about to kiss.

"Watch where you're going, ugly!" the girl yelled, and her boyfriend gave me an angry look as if he wanted to hurt me for interrupting their special moment.

"I'm sorry," I said, frighteningly, as I headed for the staircase that led me to the school's rooftop.

Arriving, I went over to the wall encircling the roof. Tears arose in my eyes remembering the hurtful word the girl downstairs had used to describe me, 'ugly.'

Wiping away my tears, I spun around to see I wasn't alone on the rooftop. Connor was also here. He stands opposite me with his back turned.

I watched his hair move slowly in the wind. Even with his back turned, I found him to be strapping. I admired his height, which makes me look so small whenever I'm close to him.

Now was the best time to approach him, so I slowly stepped towards him.

I know what you are, Connor. I kept practicing in my head.

When I finally had the guts to say it out loud to him, it wasn't what I just repeated seven times in my mind.

"I know how you saved me, Connor," I said instead, and my heart started to race as he took his time to spin around.

His beauty was breathtaking when he spun around entirely. Every time I looked at him, it felt like he had grown even more handsome. His tan skin appeared significantly smoother, his hair appeared darker, and so did his eyes.

"Are we going to go there again?" he says with an irritated look.

He then began to walk away.

"You're a beast in human skin," I said nervously, holding out the paper towards him.

"No, a werewolf," I quickly corrected myself, remembering the name I'd seen on the internet.

He stopped at my words as if he were frozen, and slowly he turned to me.

As I'd gotten his attention, I began saying facts about him being a werewolf.

"You saved me at a speed that is impossible for a human," I went on to say, but as I was about to say, he shut me up.

"You're insane," he said, causing me to freeze.

"If you continue to stalk me about being some creature that doesn't exist. I'll be forced to tell the principal about it or the guidance counselor, whom you clearly need," his pitch-black eyes pierced into my eyes as he warned me.

My head lowered, and I listened to his feet as he walked away.

I now felt foolish for confronting him as a werewolf. As he'd said, it was something that was not real.

At that moment, I wished the world could open up and swallow me up, or he'd let me die the day he saved me. What was the point of saving what no one wanted?

At lunch, I realized Connor wasn't at the table with his siblings and cousin. It's like he disappeared after our last encounter, nor did I see his bike at the end of school, and instead, his triplet brother's vehicle.

Deep down, I felt I was the cause of it, just like I'm the cause of making my mom miserable in her own home.

I realized my existence seemed to give that impression to everyone that's around me: it makes them feel uncomfortable in a way to get away from me.

I rest my head on the school bus window, saddened at the thought that Connor now thinks of me as being insane.