9

Turning before he could see the tears in my eyes, I quickly walked toward the doorway and out into the hall, forgetting all about my coffee.

Hours passed, dragging the minutes behind them, and thankfully, Nathan never appeared at his desk, though occasionally I could have sworn I felt his eyes on me. The month-long day finally passed, and it was nearing seven before I made it home.

After carrying an armload of shopping bags into the house, I headed toward my bedroom. Depositing the bags on the floor next to my closet, I greeted Mr. Friskies as he jumped on the bed. Immediately he complained in a throaty objection of what a lousy caretaker I was since I'd left him to starve two hours past his suppertime.

If I'd been in a better mood, I would have laughed at his antics but as I wasn't, he just pissed me off instead, so I growled at him. His vocalization quit immediately, and he gazed at me out of huge, non-blinking green eyes.

"Yeah, that's right, buddy. I'm in a worse mood than you are. So back the fuck off!" I grouched.

He blinked once, before jumping from the bed, he fled into the other room.

Staring down at the surrounding bags, I sank among them, and burying my head in my arms, I began to cry.

Fifteen minutes later, with head pounding and swollen eyes, I made my way into the bathroom. I blew my nose, then popped two pain relievers into my mouth; swallowing them with water.

After I left the bathroom, I entered the kitchen to find Mr. Friskies sitting by his food bowl like a sentinel guarding the King's palace.

Digging out his food I placed some in his bowl, before turning, I made my way over to the refrigerator. Pulling out the leftover Chinese food, I made a face. Even with all the shopping I'd done today, I'd forgotten to go to the grocery store.

Placing the containers for the second time in as many days in the microwave, I powered it on. Staring out the kitchen window, I waited for the food to heat through.

When the microwave went off, I pulled out the boxes and forked some food onto a plate. Carrying it outside, I set down on the steps of my porch and began mechanically lifting forkfuls to my mouth. Dutifully shoveling it in, as, though I wasn't hungry, I knew I needed to eat.

~NATHAN~

Sitting on the porch, gazing up at the brilliant twinkle of the stars, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would be a good Dad.

When I'd left Brianna's last night, I'd left with the intention of telling Tami I wanted a divorce. Whether or not I could have Brianna, I realized it was time for this sham of a marriage to be over. However, Tami dropped a bomb, incinerating everything to hell.

Pregnant—Jesus, I could curse and wail about it to the ends of the earth. Little good it would do me, for according to her, approximately, five months from now, I would be a Dad. There was no way I could leave Tami now. I would not raise my child with divorced parents. I was a testimonial to how hard on a child it could be, and as for Brianna? Dear God, how I loved and wanted her, but now life with her as anything more than a friend and team member, was out of the question.

~BRIANNA~

I thought of the saying, time heals all wounds, and knew one day the adage would fit, but for now? No. My heart felt ripped from my chest.

I gave a start as my cell began to play Nathan's ring-tone and I hesitated about answering. How should I handle this? Should I sound friendly or distant? Finally, picking up the phone and swiping the tiny phone emblem to accept the call, I greeted him as I always did. "Hey."

"Brianna, I—Christ..." Nathan's voice came over the line, uncertain, hesitant, his breathing erratic. Seconds stretched. "I'm coming over," he husked finally, before ending the call.

It wasn't long before I heard the low rumble of Nathan's bike. Coasting it down the drive, he pulled up next to the porch where I stood leaning over the railing.

For several moments, he sat on the bike, motionless, before lowering the kickstand, he propped the bike and lifted off his helmet. Tossing it to the ground, he climbed off and took the steps up to the porch.

Coming over to where I stood, he placed his hand under my chin. Tipping my face up so he could see it in the moonlight, he took a ragged breath, peering into my puffy eyes. "You've been crying...why?" he whispered.

There was no easy answer to his question. "Just…things... I'm okay."

With my chin still cupped in his hand, he caressed my jaw. "I never meant for any of this to get so fucking tangled, Brianna."

"Neither did I," I murmured, melting into his caress.

After a few minutes, he dropped his hand, turning away from me. I could see his shoulders slump as he drew in a deep breath. "Tami's pregnant."

His words slammed into me hard and I mentally stumbled backward several steps. The slow clotting that had begun within my heart broke loose, bleeding profusely.

Damn, if I wasn't going to deserve an Oscar on this one. I was turning into the best fucking actress, alive. "Oh my, God, Nathan, that's wonderful," I gushed.

Our fate—sealed.

~NATHAN~

Jerking around, I stared at the woman before me. Breathing became almost impossible, for my heart clenched so tightly in my chest it was almost suffocating me. Never in my life had I come across someone so caring and loving as Brianna, and she would never be mine. 

Reaching out a finger, I ran it down her cheek, the need to touch her overwhelming. A momentary flash of bliss that, when I walked away, I would never feel again. I drew in a shuddery breath, slowly letting it out. "She says she's around four months along." 

Before I could stop myself, I slid my hands into her hair, fisting the strands between my fingers. Pulling her to me, I buried her lips beneath mine for one brief second in time, knowing as I did so that even if we'd gotten a lifetime together, it wouldn't have been long enough for me. Finally, I pulled away, aching inside. 

I couldn't do this—fuck me—I couldn't do this. Letting her go, I turned and rushed past her, running for my bike as tears blinded me.