56. Holding on

Dawn-

Today I saw her crying, and thought how pathetically I get affected by her tears, just like her smile.

My body involuntarily moves with her energy, my behavior depends on her moods, and I feel nothing but a puppet, and I enjoy being a puppet.

Kim suggested that I should stop breathing in order to stop her from crying and honestly… I did consider it.

Because today I realized that I have fallen in love with her, my unyielding emotional fortress, which weathered even the fiercest storms, has crumbled, leaving nothing but love in its wake.

And I don’t feel sad to lose that part of me, a layer I formed to keep myself away from mundane emotions, a layer that kept me separated from this world.

I came across with love mom, the one thing you taught me to find everywhere and the one thing Gerard made sure I never find, I found it in her.

I wish you were here to see it for yourself, to see my smile so bright and wide as I jot down my heart in this diary. She loves me too, she