I WANT TO DIE!

SELENE

 

"You have exactly five minutes to get yourself down here!"  My mother's voice sliced through the walls like a blade. She didn't need to yell, I was already running like my life depended on it.

"I still don't know why we have to wait for her," my sister Tamara huffed from the hallway.

"I will not be late for the biggest celebration of the pack because of you," my father growled as he stormed toward the family vehicle. The tension in the house was suffocating and it felt like I was losing myself day after day.

Shoes in hand, dress half-zipped, and hair a frizzy mess, I stumbled down the stairs. No time for makeup or any attempt to beautify myself. I looked like a child playing dress-up in her mother's closet, but it didn't matter. If I hadn't left with them, I wouldn't have been allowed in, and walking meant punishment. I was not ready to endure that level of punishment, especially today.

We piled into the car. I slid into the far-right corner behind my mother and tried, in vain, to zip my dress and flatten my hair. My hands trembled and my feet went cold.

My mother and sister were already chatting about how glorious the Alpha and his father were. I sat quietly, shrinking into the upholstery and exploring my fantasies about what could be. I had never met them, despite my father's prestigious position as a lawmaker in the Concave Moon Pack. Not that it mattered. No one in my family ever listened when I spoke, so I was basically on my own. Typically my everyday situation.

We arrived at the royal house. My father barked as he exited, "Be here at 4 a.m. sharp!" and disappeared into the mansion.

The pack's annual celebration was always massive. Every wolf, whether low-born or elite, was required to attend. The grandeur was suffocating. Gowns shimmered, laughter echoed, and power practically vibrated in the air. Everyone had someone. Everyone belonged except me.

I lingered beside the car, heart pounding. After five minutes, I forced myself to move my legs. I entered the royal ballroom, instantly engulfed by golden lights, intoxicating perfumes, and the murmurs of 500 wolves. I almost ran out of breath. The contrast between their perfection and my disheveled state was stark. I looked like a stain on silk and mud in clean water.

Eyes glanced, then dismissed me. The sting was sharp and debilitating. I couldn't breathe and my heartbeat was fast. Fumbling toward an exit, I found a side door and slipped out into a moonlit garden.

Only then did the tears fall so quickly.

I sank to my knees beside a marble bench, burying my face in my hands. What was wrong with me? Why did they hate me? My parents, my sister, my entire pack. My very existence felt like a burden.

A shadow fell over me. Startled, I looked up and froze.

Tall. Broad. Dressed in elegant white. Tousled brown hair framed a face sculpted by the Moon Goddess herself. Coffee-brown eyes stared down at me with a mix of curiosity and mild irritation.

My wolf stirred violently.

Mate.

"You do realize the party's inside?" he asked, his voice smooth and soothing but cold.

I scrambled to my feet, flustered. "Uh... yeah. I…I needed some air."

He studied me for a moment, then turned and walked away without another word.

My wolf whimpered.

I wiped my face and forced my feet forward. I had to find him again. I needed to understand what just happened.

Back inside, the emcee's voice rang out, "And now, we welcome the Alpha Prince for his speech and official coronation!"

Spotlights shifted. My stomach dropped.

It was him.

Alpha Jax Justin.

He ascended the stage with regal grace, commanding the attention of every eye. My breath caught in my throat. The man from the garden. My mate.

He spoke, but I couldn't hear the words. My mind reeled. The bond was real. Fate had bound us together.

Then came the tradition. Before the crown could pass to him, he had to name his mate, his Luna.

"Has the Moon Goddess revealed your mate to you?" the emcee asked.

"Yes, she has," Jax said.

Gasps rippled through the crowd. Dozens of hopeful women leaned forward, believing they would be chosen. The air trembled.

"There she is," he said, pointing.

A spotlight hit me.

Silence.

I stood frozen, heart hammering. Eyes. Hundreds of them. All on me.

I was his mate.

My wolf howled with joy.

But just as I stepped forward...

"I reject her."

The air was sucked out of the room.

"I, Prince Jax Justin, reject her as my mate," he said coldly. "I will present my chosen Luna in two weeks."

He looked toward my father. "I trust I have that right, Elder Bloom?"

"You do," my father replied without hesitation.

The laughter began slowly. Then louder. Crueler.

My sister Tamara smirked from across the ballroom. My mother looked away. My father, now placing the ceremonial crown on Jax's head, acted like I didn't exist.

The room tilted. My chest ached. I bolted out the door, down the steps, into the dark.

Tears blurred my vision. I ran until my lungs burned, until I saw the flicker of lights from a building at the border.

A bar.

I burst in.

"Miss?" the bartender called.

"I want to die!" I screamed, collapsing onto the floor.