While Callum Scott sings his song “Dancing On My Own,” I’m finally done.
I stare once more pleased with what I see, which is my imagination created, having the best inspiration for my tormented soul. I look per hour so I find that I have been drawing in a trance for almost three hours. I go down to the kitchen to eat something quickly, I throw myself on the sofa and I write an e-mail to colleagues from my firm that I plan to resign. Otherwise, on weekends, I don’t reach for my cell phone for work, but now I feel the need to get everything done as quickly as possible. What an hour behind, while almost napping on on the sofa, Samantha enters the room by herself. She paused for a moment when she saw me, but was encouraged so I see that he will sit next to me and make himself comfortable.
"What are you looking at?" He addressed me quite bravely and boldly because he had never done so before the first conversation did not begin.
"You."
"I mean, on TV."
"I don't know, I'm not interested in anything on TV." I still stare at her lips while the desire to try it once accumulates in me. Suddenly he gets up and she runs away, and I follow her like the last madman. It's actually my cell phone vibrating that I have to take a pill, but she doesn't know it while I walk behind I stare at her back. I feel her uneasiness because she knows I’m behind her and I follow her in silence. Before he enters his room there is only one more thing
I ask.
"And where is Victor?"
"He stayed with Clark for a drink."
"How did you get home?"
"By taxi."
He murmured softly and locked himself in his room. I am tempting myself, my own strength and courage, as I drive her mad. I don't know why, but this suits me.
Her appearance to my soul and her closeness to my body. I will find out the reasons for these sudden feelings as well as the reasons for this marriage. If I were Victor, I wouldn't get out of her bed. My brother is a jerk.
In the evening he is not there yet, while she is sitting opposite me in the dining room.
The old man seems to be avoiding dinner, he took an apple and went for a walk so we did she and I were alone. I watch him put the fries in his mouth, that's right honey while eating with your fingers without any shame, and only when your thumb holds a little in his mouth and sucks the sauce off him. I know he’s not doing it on purpose, no way to seduce me. More. I may not wait for that moment, but I will still work hard on it. He tries to keep his eyes on everything except on me, but often throws it in my direction, even if he doesn't always look at me in the face.
Someone rings the bell so we both look at each other without a word since no one we expect. I get up from the table and open the door, and hers stands in the doorway godmother, a blonde I refused to dance.
She passes me indifferently while a cloud of heavy remains behind her perfume. Horror.
"Samantha!" The whole ground floor echoes from her voice, so Samantha comes out
in a few seconds to us.
“Hey, Rose! Where are you from? Didn't we agree on tomorrow afternoon? "
"I wanted to see you, to hear how the first wedding night went.
So, is the good girl in bed too, or is the fire hidden? ”Samantha blushed and
he kills a blonde whose name I don't even remember, so he throws a short one
look at me in his shame.
"You don't have to be ashamed of me, sister-in-law, I heard everything last night." Yes, I heard
my brother’s footsteps and started the car’s engine. I sleep poorly at night anyway.
"So fiery, huh?"
"Rose, please. I wouldn't talk about it. "
“You know that in some cultures you have to show the sheet for the family to see that
did the groom marry a virgin? ”
“Rose! I won't beg you anymore! ”Samantha answered her angrily, so she did
he pulls his hand into the living room and whispers something.
"Blake, are you coming?" The blonde turned over her shoulder and winked at me an open call. She’s still trying something, and I intend to join they just want Samantha.
Without a word, I go to them in the living room, but settle down next to them Samantha thought the blonde adjusted so she left me a blank spot next to me. I don’t listen to what the blonde is saying at all because I watch all the time Samantha, how she tries to concentrate and follow the conversation, actually blonde monologue. At one point, the blonde got up to pick up a bar of chocolate from the table, she gave me a look at her cleavage and sat back licking ostensibly innocent. It’s the only time I’ve looked at her and regretted it. How much she didn't get the reaction she wanted, she got up and spoke to me again.
"Blake, will you show me where the toilet is?" Upstairs, right? I would not she wanted to wander into your room. "
Does she really think this is some charming intrusion?
"Upstairs straight to the end. You can't go wrong. To my room, I recommend you do not enter. Otherwise, I won't be as comfortable as yesterday. ”I was very embarrassing yesterday, and that’s what she was looking for, but they could be worse.
She's not right about my harsh answer, she raised an eyebrow and marched upstairs. Samantha looks at the floor and ignores me, so she does turn.
"Samantha, just because she's your friend, I didn't answer her like what else do I know. You better explain to her that I don't care. Because if I do I'll explain, he certainly won't want to visit you again. "
She just nodded, without asking me anything. An obedient girl. I like it. How will do I execute my other orders in the same way? I can't wait to try it.
The blonde comes back so I leave them alone. I go out in the garden for a while old man so we talk business, when Victor shows up with Carrer and with a short greeting he went into the house. Maybe he misses his wife. Blonde soon he leaves, but without saying goodbye, and I move into my room, to light some thriller.
I hear voices in the hallway and the door closing a couple of times so I walk out to see what happens.
Victor is just carrying a pillow and quilt to the guest room.
I raise an eyebrow, looking first at him and then at Samantha carrying his toiletries.
"The first quarrel?" I asked with interest.
"Yes. So who would argue with this sugar? You don't care bro, then snoring, and Samantha has a light sleep so she can’t sleep next to him
Sometimes I'll sleep in the guest room. ”He winked at me and went to the room to avoid my further questions.
So Samantha stands in the doorway and watches me without a word, without blinking, while her face carries an unusual expression. I realize she stared at my torso because I didn’t wear a T-shirt after showering. She seems to like the result of my swimming activities in my younger days because her mouth is mild open, and cheeks flushed.
I approach her as she widens her beautiful eyes so I place my finger on her lower lip I ask, whispering softly into her lips.
"Will you mistakenly enter the wrong room at night, the wrong bed, to the wrong brother? ”
He stepped back, then turned abruptly and fled to his room, slamming the door. Fuck me all, I'm laughing and cheering inside! She will sleep at night alone in her bed, and if she strays into someone's room, the wrong brother I certainly won't be me.
It's over.I feel like it's over.*******She cries behind closed doors, I hear her, she bursts with every sob of my heart. And me? I don’t go to her, I stay on the other side and cry more than her. She hides so I don't see her pain and weakness, and I hide so I don't I make this harder and I don't push her even deeper into the darkness she's heading towards. I know that feeling, it draws you to itself, it promises you that you won't feel anything anymore, you will not even remember, everything will be covered by darkness, but at least you will not suffer anymore. AND he extends his arms even if you take a step back, you somehow think of looking back, to find some good in yourself and around you that will keep you from leaving into that darkness, you are desperately looking for that light that will illuminate you. And that's why I know yes to her I need to be that light and that is why I will not show weakness now, I will not show my own pain to share with
I'm here, I'm alive, for now. I never imagined my life with Blake as a fairy tale, I never did nor did she believe in fairy tales, but that he was my prince is, he was, my dark prince who came to light because of me and by his appearance made me a woman who will never give in to any life again obstacle. I didn’t expect our lives to be honey and milk, but never, not even for a moment I had no idea that so much would take my life, so much to load, to bleed my heart so many times. For whose sins do I suffer? At the moment, I’m just not strong. No, while sitting in a chair into the children’s room, and for days I shed tears looking at the empty crib he’s in my Hanna should have gone home with me. She should have been drinking milk now, try the first bath, she should have woken us up in the morning or made us happy while she was we watch him sleep. We should have held her in our arms now, rocked her, and enjoyed that wonderful scent of a child. But I didn’
After work, I come home in silence with my brother, and Samantha greets us cheerfully at the entrance."My boys, lunch is on the table, in fact, it's already dinner and it's cold because 18:00 has already passed. So where are you? ”"Don't ask, baby, don't ask." Victor walked directly past her dining room."Blake, what is it?""We didn't pass the competition.""Oh, God!" He put his hand over his mouth and sighed in disappointment."Well, that means…" He looked at me desperately."Yes, that means just that.""Let's eat now, we'll come up with something."We have been sitting at dinner for half an hour and eating in a silence that only here and there a heavy sigh breaks out."I will sell the house on Aurora Lake and it will be an injection into our firm." Samantha's sudden announcement made my brother stare at her."You're not going to do that, it's a memory of your parents." No way to let her do
Today, Samantha is already in her twentieth week of pregnancy, so I’m following her on examination by a gynecologist, hoping to finally find out the sex. Baby teases us, the last time she turned around we couldn't see anything. I get nervous every time before we get into their practice. Admittedly, the first time I came and saw that Samantha would examine a young doctor, I felt like taking her outside and looking for her doctor. As if she knew what was going on in my head, she squeezed my hand and she glared at me to stay calm and not make a scene.That first time I was standing next to that screen and pretending to be crazy when he was a doctor showed the child, and I saw only some stains and nodded. But so when Samantha took me with her for a checkup at sixteen weeks, when I saw that little wonder moving inside, his face developing, arms, legs… hell sam I felt tears in the corners of my eyes. I do not know the last time I cried, but this ... this was stronger t
I don't dream, my favorite is there, next to me, in my bed. Free we are and we are together. Isn't this the best thing in the world? Have by your side a man who looks at you as if no one else exists, touches you as if he wanted to convince you that you really exist in reality, utters promises and oaths to you eternal love… and finally, a man who would sacrifice himself for you. Our happiness is only doubled by the fact that we will become a really small family for just over seven months. We are a real family from the first days, although in our case everything turned out so comical, but again romantic… we survived various blows, it all just made us stronger. It's not Blake now calmer than ever? Am I not stronger now than before? Is not it Victor happier now?"Love, thank you for trusting me," I say softly to him an ear as I hugged him, clinging to his back."Luckily, I don't trust anyone like you. There is no better place in the world from your embrace. &
Why don’t I feel aggression, restlessness, anger, madness, and I’m located far away from my beauty, not before my eyes, under my fingers?I understand why, because I have finally fulfilled my purpose, so will I. do something for her. I'll take this, and here in this cold cell, behind bars ... I couldn't even see that. I know loneliness, she has been my companion for years, I know all my own thoughts, even the blackest ones, lived with me every day, and that's why I don't like this heavy. Maybe in a month, maybe in a year, my beauty will wait. That’s what makes me calm. Next to her, our child will be waiting for me. I don't believe it yet! My beauty he will give me a child. Child. Is life a little fucking with me?A little to me, a little to take?Now that I know the two of them are waiting for me outside, I can survive it all. Even and the touch of that guard as he led me to the cell, even the separation from Samantha because at the end of the