So the first night. The first night has to be the one to set the excitement up to the highest level where we couldn't reach it. At this moment, everyone is busy. John is cooking the barbecue with a pretty girl in white shorts, named, Anastasia. Cooper and Simon are cooking something else in the kitchen but mostly with the drinks they keep laughing at. I don't I would be drinking tonight. It's out of my plan. While me, I just watch everyone. I hope I could do something asie from shuffling through good indie music. Emma and the other guy that just arrive set fire set in the middle of the sand. The sky is full of starts thanti wish I could kiss it long. Everything I see is full of magic now. But across twenty feet away, is the sea. Its waves crashing in the dark is just there fully alive like if it's not there, this wouldn't be possible at all. So when everyone is done with their tasks. We west. There's a long table in the middle, just a few feet away from the fire and we'd taken out
The next morning, every corner of the house feels so alive and at the same time steady in come places. I could hear the waves from the distance roaring in their crash. The windows are open which makes every curtain dance wildly all over its place. I'm surprise to see the TV on. I think everyone is gone swimming in the beach now. But who could be here with me. My foot still hurts a little. Cooper put so much ice on it but this morning the pain actually lessen. I stretch my arms to the air when I enter the kitchen. I stop midway when I see Simon's back is facing me. He's stirring on the pot over the stove. He's got no shirt on. It's like he was just in the water. He turns around, catching my eyes watching him. I move over to the fridge out of embarrassment, I pretend to find some milk. Simon walks over near me, “How's your foot?” He looks down, while he leans on the other fridge door.I clear my throat. “Better. Cooper put ice on it last night.” “Yeah. I saw it all.” He barely says
You know you've always have something else to say but you run from your heart because it is deceiving. But also I know Emma doesn't deserve it. We are together. We are lobe each other not in way Era could. There is only friendship that we have. It's always going to be that with Era and I know she has seen us that way too. If anyone would ask if I'm serious with Emma, I want to. But I have to know if she's going to stay. If it's true what John told about living in LA for good. After we eat all dinner. Everyone is tired from the surfing earlier. Most of the time, Emma and Cooper is cuddling in the living room. She seems happy. That's best for her. I never look at her anymore like I used to. I don't want to be a coward having Emma and flirting with Era at the same time. What I was doing in the kitchen earlier, I shouldn't have done it. From the moment we were interrupted, I knew it was wrong that why I needed to kiss Emma so I can know that I still feel the same for her. Only for her.
When the clock hit ten, I take her hand by mine. She needs to get out of here. She needs a fresh air. Era is silent the whole time I lead her to the shore. There's a fear of me what Emma would see us but when we get there, it's all empty spots. I keep thinking what if I told Era what really happened before with me and Cooper or just something she needs to hear out from me. She needs to understand and also have a clue why they cant be together. I don't want to her to get hurt all obse again. She's still my best friend and regardless of everything that haooend I think that still never changed. The first five minute, Era just cried and cried. Silent and the loud. Her body is steady and then it shakes. I could memorize the way she does that. The way, I think, she feels the pain and then suffers from it. It would be harder for her because she's the one watching someone she loves kissing someone else. I couldn't imagine how must that feel like. I don't I would be able to take it. It would
The ceiling reminds me of the ceiling in Anne's apartment—white and plain like pure emptiness—I have my own room there. Me and Sophie would be running around in our room but only that I would her because she couldn't walk yet. I miss her so much. So damn much. Walking up to the thoughts of her starters my heart knowing I was able to forget my responsibility of me taking care of her instead of my best friend. It's my job but I'm here having a broken heart because I was so willing in giving my heart and trust to someone who is still in love with his ex. Sophie wouldn't be happy if she finds this out when she grow enough to understand things. Anne trusted me that me that I am here to fix what I left broken with Simon but last night, I didn't think I fixed it. I was confessing. Confessing. And he is leaving. It felt like a twice stab on my heart but I didn't show it him. I couldn't find the strength to even get the tears out. I was suddenly broken and empty. He's going to be living wit
I have no idea where we're going. All I know is I need to be away from Emma far as I could. Dragging Era out of the house is the best idea I could have but then like the rest of my heart, I know nothing else except driving away without exact destination to go to. I dont want to be home right now. Its not best if we there. If I would be there, I know I will only keep thinking and overthinking because that's how I am. This tight feeling in my chest is slowly slipping away as the road gets quieter, the wind outside the window plays with our skin, and Era keeps her words inside her for the first hour. From time to time, she makes sure she doesn't look at me and ask what happened. I knew she saw it in her own eyes. And I feel so embarrassed because just last night she saw Cooper and Ana and this morning it was Emma and Mark. I feel so stupid bringing Era with me but she can't stay there with two strangers. She still holding her bag to her lap and I wonder if she ever wanted to ask me if s
I finally said it. There's no turning back now. It's out in the open and I know how much shocking it is to him. Simon doesn't blink for next the ten seconds, he just stares at the wide open space in front of us. When he doesn't say anything yet, I think he wants me to say something more about it like convince him that it's true and this isnt a game I am playing. I gather the thoughts I need to say but I know somehow some of them will fail to come out. “Her name is Sophie. Two years ago, when I left Holy Cross, I was pregnant and Brad never knew about her.” I take a breath again. Simon finally looks at me again. “What do you mean he didn't know?” He sounds angry but keeping home of himself. I stutter and want to go on without him blowing this up. “We broken up before I even knew. Remember the night found me with my brine bike? That was night I found out I was pregnant.” I sigh deeply remembering that night. It was one of the fearful stare that I ever been. I was full of anxiety. T
Saturday night when I finally decide to give Anne a call. My heart beats miles away from here and I just can't wait to tell her the good news. For sure she would be as happy as a running deer. That's who she is just being happy for my own happiness. Nothing ever compares the feeling of this to finally have Sophie with me. To live with me without worrying about Simon's reaction because he is happy. I'm glad that he didn't try point my mistakes or judgemental about it. I am one of the happiest girls ever alive.“Come on, Anne. Pick up the phone.” I whisper as a prayer. I bite on my lips as the phone continues to ring. She doesn't answer. I try again. Once. Twice. Four time. Nothing. Then I have to try again. She finally answers. There's a random noises in the background. It's been a while since I hear her voice and I can't even make out where she is. “Hello? Anne?” “Yes?” She pants, catching her breath. “Hey, sorry about that. It's just that Sophie is a wild kid. She keeps running a