ONE

CHAPTER ONE

Charlotte.

Life is really funny. One moment you're finally stepping out of your shell and letting your friends cajole you into attending your first party after spending four years in college, and the next, you're in a doctor's office being told you have pancreatic cancer and that you are not expected to live beyond the next twelve months. I thought it was a really funny joke life was playing on me, how it waited for me to pass through the exhaustingly rigorous process of acquiring my Bachelor's Degree in Electrical Engineering before deciding to tell me it was all for nothing. As the doctor tried to let me down as gently as he could, I only felt slightly irritated that death had decided to come at such an inconvenient time. It had been three months since I got my degree and I had just been accepted to a scholarship program to further pursue my education and get a Master's, and now this. What now?

When I finally walked out of the kind doctor's office holding an ice pack to the spot on my head where I had hit it during my fall last night, accompanied by my teary eyed best friend, Mary, the rest of the friend group swarmed me to hear what the diagnosis was. There was myself, Mary, Jennifer, Martin, and my boyfriend, Lucas. From Mary's sniffling and constant eye wiping, they knew it was bad news we had to give them. Mary let go off me which was really just a transfer of the 'responsibility' of holding me from herself to my boyfriend, Lucas.

"Guys?" Jennifer asked, her eyes darting between Mary's tears and the nonchalance on my face. "What is it?"

"Mary?" Martin asked, going closer to my best friend. "What happened?"

"The doc- the doctor-" Mary tried to speak but her tears could not allow her to. It was a little funny to me, if I was to be honest.

"What did he say?" Lucas asked me gently. "What did the doctor say?"

Everyone fell quiet and leaned in to listen to me speak. I felt quite self conscious being put on the hot seat like that, so I just shrugged and tried to downplay the seriousness of the matter.

"Well... he might've said something about my pancreas having some sort of cancer or something like that."

Jennifer looked confused. "What?"

"Pancreas..." Martin said, trying to make sense of what I had just said.

"Pancreatic cancer?" Lucas asked me directly, his eyes begging me to say it wasn't true. Of course he knew. He was a medical student, a very bright one might I add. I could not stand it so I looked away and kept my eyes on the floor.

"Yeah..." I shrugged. "That was what he called it."

"Oh God." The words left his mouth involuntarily in a soft way.

"What?" Jennifer asked, impatient and seeming somewhat irritated about being kept in the dark. "What is it?"

"How long did he say?" Lucas ignored her and kept his focus on me.

I laughed nervously and looked at everyone's expectant faces, well except Mary.

"Uh..." I found it hard to repeat the doctor's words. "Well, he didn't specify a particular-"

"She has a year!" Mary blurted out amidst tears.

Martin and Jennifer gasped together while Lucas remained as stoic as he possibly could be.

"To- to live?" Jennifer needed to make sure.

Mary was unable to respond as she was now a total mess of tears, so everyone looked to me instead. Why did they need the confirmation? Was it not obvious by now?

"Well, yeah." I said, my throat suddenly itchy and my voice going raspy.

"Oh my God." Jennifer exhaled while Martin walked backwards to find a place to sit. It was heavy information.

Lucas did not say anything- he really didn't need to say anything, instead, he just hugged me and planted a kiss on the top of my head. I hugged him back and decided to focus on how nice he still smelled despite being in a crowd full of drunk, horny people all night long instead of letting my mind dwell on the humongous freaking mammoth in the room- that I had only twelve months left to live.

We didn't stay much longer because I told everyone that I was okay and convinced them to let Lucas take me home while they all went their separate ways. Lucas wanted to spend the rest of the day and probably the night with me at my place, but I really just wanted to be alone... I knew I had not yet processed the news that had just been broken to me and I definitely needed to, but he was very insistent as he was convinced that I NEEDED him around, maybe to cheer me up or just sit in silence with me. He was so thoughtful and always went above and beyond for me. We had been dating for three years and he still pursued me as though we were still in the talking stage. Once the doctor told me about the cancer, he was the first person I thought of... How in a year, we would be over forever? And all the love and care he had poured into me would be all for nothing? We had plans already. He had one more year in med school and we were going to really start having conversations about getting married and settling down once this happened, and now? None of that. Life really had a sick sense of humor.

He was extra attentive and sweet to me that morning, too sweet actually, so much that I could not bear his presence anymore and begged him to let me be for the rest of the day.

"I just need some alone time." I said. "I need to process all this, you know... ponder over my mortality." I said, adding a little laugh at the end to try and soften the blow.

"Alright, if that's what you want." He said. "Make sure to call me if you need anything, babe. I'll be by the phone all day."

That meant a lot actually, considering he did not spend a lot of time on his phone and would rather put it to 'better use' like reading or anything that could potentially further his career goals.

When he left, I started to regret it. The house was too silent and my thoughts were getting much too loud, so I rolled off my bed, snuggled into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and went on a walk. It was one of those afternoons where the sky had not yet decided whether it was going to give us rain or sunshine but was chilly enough for a sweater.

"You live around here?" Some random guy asked and I tried to just walk past him without answering, hastening my steps a little bit.

"Excuse me, I'm talking to you." There was a very noticeable annoyance in his voice and I was irked by it- by the entitlement and expectation that I would stop whatever I was up to just to have a conversation with him, so I turned to see who it was. He was notably taller than me, probably the tallest person I've seen in person and he had hair as dark as night, a jawline that could cut diamonds sheathed by a well groomed beard, and the most annoying frown I had ever seen on his face.

"You don't just walk off when someone's talking to you like that." He said, taking a step towards. "You got any manners?"

"What?" I could not believe my ears. "Are you talking to me right now?"

"Yes."

"What makes you think every random person on the street should stop and have a conversation with you just because you spoke to them?"

"Well that's what I expect from people who were raised properly." He said, the sass in his voice louder than his words.

"You clearly weren't." I said and folded my hands.

His eyes flared up and he was about to say something, probably something very rude, but then some guy I had not noticed earlier ran to his side.

"Sir! Sir, your father is on the line." He said.

The arrogant guy locked eyes with me in a heated battle of dagger-shooting for some seconds, his teeth grinding evident on his temples as he snatched the phone from the smaller man. He turned his back to me swiftly and put the phone to his ear.

I rolled my eyes and flipped the bird to his broad back before resuming my walk. What a prick.