Five

Chapter - 5

"You said just one drink, girl. Nice joke," I scolded, trying to drag her till the car. She was pretty drunk and wasn't in a good state to balance herself so I had to give support and take her to the car.

"Summer, let's stay for mo-more five mi-minutes,"

"No. A big fat NO!! Drunk as fuck, and you are asking me for more time here," I took the keys from her pocket and opened the car's door.

"Okay," She agreed. But I was sure she understood none of my words.

After meeting the squad, she and I went downstairs to grab a drink - A DRINK. I know she contradicted what I just said; she had around seven drinks and even if I tried stopping, she paid no heed to me, as always.

When we reached our building, Mrs Johnson was there and she smiled at us. She looked impressed and proud while smiling and I took it, it was because we respected her rules, and I was glad we were successful in respecting the little she asks from us.

I wished her a good night and started walking up the stairs to our room. She didn't even question Yvonne for being drunk; I guess all these were actually very normal here.

When we reached our room, I put her into bed and just collapsed on my bed. Neither did think of changing in my sleepwear nor did I realize when I dozed off; I just did, and the next moment I realized what's happening, I heard someone sobbing and crying as her life depended on it.

Curious, I looked down from my bed just to make sure it wasn't her, and as partly expected, she wasn't there, so I eyed around in the darkroom with sleepy eyes to try checking where she was, but in vain.

Sulking, I decided to step down from my bed which was the upper one to get a better look of her whereabouts, when instantly, my eyes darted to the small sofa and saw Yvonne crying there.

"Oh my god, Yvonne! Are you okay? What happened?!" I ran to her as fast as my legs could. She seemed startled to see me so she wiped her tears so fast, it would've been impossible to make out she was crying if you wouldn't have known, but I already did so her efforts were of no use.

"Summer, I'm sorry I woke you up... I'm okay, really... yo-you go to bed and sleep, I'll be there soon," She was stuttering.

"For hell sure, I ain't going back to sleep and for fuck sake you aren't okay. Tell me what happened dude, I'm here for you. Talk to me, please,"

Right after I spoke those words, she collapsed on me and started weeping. Witnessing her in this situation hurt me too, not only because she was a good friend of mine but also because she wasn't the kind of person who cried over small things. She was strong, and it wasn't a secret. But that midnight, she looked so vulnerable that, the darkness of the night failed to overcast her vulnerability, for it was gleaming like a lamp was placed in the room.

I could see the pain behind those green eyes flickering in the faint light of the corridor. I didn't know what was it that made someone so strong put their guards down and let themselves be vulnerable. Something someone like Yvonne would have never done.

I knew I'd known her for less than forty-eight hours which wasn't enough to qualify me to speak about her in such a deep way as if I'd known her since forever but there are times when you just click with someone whom you have just met – Yvonne was one of those people to me. In just a short period, she made a place for herself in my heart and our friendship was something to be cherished forever. It might not make sense to some people out there but to me, it did so perfectly. A true friend was something I never had until I met her. These two days with her proved to me that friendship is priceless but only with a person who knows how to be a friend.

Behind her rebellious, cheerful, and always smiling look, there was something that was troubling her. I could see that, and it was troubling me so much that I couldn't be of any help to her.

"Yvonne, tell me what happened. I'm here for you... always! I'm willing to listen and trust me – whatever is it, I won't judge you,"

"It's... it's not about the trust. O-Of course I tr-trust you, but it's just... speaking it out loud hu-hurts..." She explained, sobbing.

"Hey! Take your time, I'm here, and whenever you want to talk it out and want to make me your punching bag, come." She laughed softly, wiping away her tears.

"Of course not... why will I make you my punching bag?"

"Sometimes, you should make someone your punching bag, and let it all out. It helps, " I reasoned, to which she nodded. She then signalled me that she wanted to let it out.

"Today, when I visited my home..." But, she trailed off and started sobbing. I hugged her and comforted her, in between murmuring 'shush' in case it helped. She sobbed for five minutes straight before getting a hold of herself and trying to speak. I tried to convince her that it was okay if she was finding it arduous but she insisted on letting me know.

When she was sure that she was under her control, she wiped her years and sniffed a few times and started, "When I reached home, my stepmom told me to take my car but something seemed off about her. She wasn't in her usual state. She is a very lively and a very cheerful person but today, she just wasn't herself... after my mom left, I was devastated but when dad remarried his childhood sweetheart, Daphne, my life changed - for the better. My stepmom, she fixed me. She gave me all the motherly love I thought I lost it forever. You see, I owe her a lot. She is close to both me and my brother but she is closer to me. People label stepmothers as a part of the satan family but I feel so fortunate that my stepmother turned out to be better than my real mom. Since I was a little kid, mom always was in her world. She never did anything a mother should do, and it hurt me beyond. Felix, my brother was also hurt but because of the stupid society's mindset that a guy should never let his guards down, he hid it. Dad and mom always used to fight, and above all that, we weren't financially stable. My dad was an employee in a business firm, and even though his income was more than enough for a small family like ours, it was never that way. Mom always used to spend every penny in her gambling and didn't even win. She always used to lose. So, many times, dad tried to convince her that her luck was never in her favour in gambling and to give it up but she never paid any heed. She admitted that she even hooked up with many guys and girls behind my dad's back. As if all these weren't enough, she admitted that she conceived..." She trailed off. "another man's kid. That was when dad filed for divorce,"

"But, you said your mom filed for divorce?"

"I lied. I always lie about this because I don't know why... I don't feel comfortable telling the truth. Like, I always felt like lying some part about it."

I nodded. "I understand,"

"Then, mom admitted the truth - she was a lesbian and she didn't know how to come out of the closet so she used gambling as her coping mechanism. The truth is: She was never really pregnant but instead, she was making up excuses just so she could convince my dad to somehow divorce her. She had an affair with someone else but she never really hooked up with anyone else. She lied, and she admitted everything."

"Why couldn't she directly tell your dad to divorce her?"

"She was scared and wasn't sure if he would agree. My dad is a very good person so after learning the whole story, he still supported her. Mom never really loved us as a mother should but still apologised because she failed as a mother. She apologised to dad the most because he suffered the most. Now, we all are still on good terms, and dad and she stayed friends. She is genuinely happy now and stopped gambling too. Dad started his own firm and it was soon flourishing and that's how he got so busy. I lied about her running away because like I said, I felt like lying." She sniffed. "Hope you understand why I lied."

"Of course! Of course, I do!"

"Thank you! Anyways, so she remarried and even dad did. Everything was finally perfect... until today.." She started sobbing again. I hugged her again and comforted her. We stayed like that for as long as we could remember, and she continued pouring her heart out without getting up.

"Today when I went back home, I met mom at the entrance door - as always, waiting for me. I hugged her and she told me that she missed me. But I could make out that something was wrong with her just from her tone. You see, I know her very well. I ask her what's wrong but she just brushed the topic away by laughing and saying that nothing was wrong. After much convincing, she started to cry. The way she cried broke me." She started to cry again.

"She hugged me and told me between tears that she has stage four cancer. She knew it since the last two months but didn't tell me or anyone because she didn't want us to worry. Dad is coming back home in two days and is taking mom for treatment. Dad and my brother Felix got to know about it a few days back because they had to know but she especially didn't tell me because of how my reaction would be. I can't believe she hid that from me."

I gasped after hearing the news and started to console he. She started to sob again but more heavily this time.

"That's not it.." She struggled to speak because of the lump formed in her throat from all the heavy cryings. She then took deep, long breaths, wiped her tears, and calmed herself down in case another breakdown hit her in the following minutes. Her expressions told me she was going to tell me her biggest secret.

"Yesterday when I told you that I'm repeating the first year because I didn't do quite well, that wasn't the complete truth. Yeah, there is truth in it but not completely. I didn't think we will get along so well so I didn't tell you the whole truth and besides, the complete truth is a little too personal so how could I tell you? You were just a stranger to me at that time."

"I understand,"

"Okay, so the truth is that..." She took another breath. "Last year, when the squad and I were in our first year... we were really good friends. We still are but things changed with someone particular from the squad – with Jason. She trailed off and didn't speak for a minute.

"What happened that changed so suddenly? Tonight, I also noticed the way you guys behaved towards each other."

" I know, I know you did," She paused for a second.

"Last year during Christmas party at Jason's place, the squad and I were hanging out. We were all drinking and everyone got drunk, except for me and Jason. Only Elijah wasn't there for the party because he had some other party to attend. You know, he is a rich kid with a billionaire dad but they don't get along at all. Pretty cliched? Tell me something I don't know. Anyways,"

Hearing his name again sent chills down my spine but I tried to stay focus. 'This guy will be the death of me'. I mentally told myself.

"After every other person in the room with us passed out from the drink except for me and Jason, we got bored so we thought of going outside to get fresh air. The party was over by then. Everyone went back. The squad and we were the only ones left. It was normal for us to stay back because we usually did it. I just had to inform Mrs Johnson about it and everything was cool." She was playing with her knuckles while narrating, and I immediately learned that she was nervous about speaking whatever it is, out loud.

"He asked us way before the party started to stay back after the party. We all agreed. So when the party was finally over and everyone left and above all that, the whole squad passed out, I and Jason had nothing else to do and that's why we decided to take a walk. As friends. But during the walk, our talk became a little too deep. After a good five minutes walk, we weren't talking about normal stuff like the college latest rumour and all. It was getting...you know..way too deep. Families and our past struggles and all those. We both found solace in each other that night and realized we just clicked but never really realized it before. We opened up a lot about each other. He was the first person I opened up to after my stepmom. I was shocked because I didn't share all those personal stories and past struggles with people very easily but I just did... with him. So easily. He also opened up a lot and I learned we both have a messy past. That way, we just...connected... y'know? The next time I knew what was happening, I found myself kissing him back. Even when I realized what I was doing, I didn't stop him. I could feel that even he did it without realizing it but didn't stop too. One thing led to another and that night..." She sighed, pressing her knuckles hard and closed her eyes. Whatever story this was, it was surely a vulnerable part of her. A part of her she wasn't keen on speaking it out loud.

"We didn't have sex. We made love. The next morning when I woke up, I found myself not at all, regretting it. In between smiling and half asleep, I didn't realize I was asleep in his arms." She narrated, smiling. "He hugged me tightly and the way he hugged made me sure that even he didn't regret. I was so relieved. We stayed like that for a while and later on decided to skip college. The Dean called us the next day to ask why we skipped but we already had excuses for each other. We didn't even care if he suspected we were lying because the time we spent together by skipping college was worth it. He was worth it. That's when I realized I was in love." She sniffed this time, instead of smiling and anyhow, I knew, their story did turn sour somehow.

"But every good thing is meant to end." Told ya!

"Just like that, even our story seemed to have run its course. After a few weeks, he just stopped talking to me. I didn't know what I did that made him ignore. The squad was fine with me except for Jason. He just stopped doing everything. Suddenly and immediately, we became strangers in just a few weeks. It was like we didn't even know each other. We just completely stopped talking. It hurt me so much, and I hated and despised him for breaking my heart. I asked myself 'how can he be such a good actor?'. I couldn't understand why he played with me. I couldn't understand why did he fake his feelings for me if he just wanted sex. I couldn't understand how can he make simple sex fully driven by lust seemed so much like making love. I was heartbroken. After much time staying heartbroken, I realized I couldn't let those destroy me and that's why I decided to leave this thing behind me and move on. I couldn't though. I still can't for your information anyways. I am still in love with him and I hate to admit it. After some months, I was cool with whatever happened. I had no hard feelings towards Jason because with time, I started to realized that what he did to me was just how he was. I tried to be the bigger person and stayed cool with him. But I couldn't make myself bear the fact that I will have classes with him because of some similar courses so I flunked, purposely and forced my parents to let me repeat. This is the whole truth." She sniffed again.

I didn't say anything. I just crouched in and hugged her. I rubbed her back softly. "I don't think Jason is a bad guy, or he meant to hurt you. I don't even think he just wanted sex. I guess, he was afraid of being vulnerable because being in love is being vulnerable in every way but we take those risks for the one we love and stay vulnerable." I reasoned. She quickly pushed me away softly and asked with teary eyes, "How do you know that?"

"I just know. From the way, he eyes you... it's just obvious."

"Earlier this evening during the party after we met the squad, I told you that I'll be right back and went off for a pretty long time for which you scolded me pretty bad. Remember Summer?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"It was Jason who called me and that's why I went. He wanted to talk about what happened between us. After all this time. He told me that he was scared because..." She trailed off again and started to cry again. "I don't know Summer... I feel so guilty at the moment."

I frowned in confusion. "What? Why do you feel guilty?!" I rubbed her back softly? "If it's about you lying to me, then it's really okay!"

"About that too but mostly because Mom is in such a critical condition, and I'm talking about things that are nothing compared to what her condition is at the moment. But, Jason confronted me today so I don't know, all the bottled up feelings inside me just rushed out." She whispered. "Even mom asked me if he confronted me yet this afternoon when I went to visit her."

"Why do wrong timing exist? It sucks!" She added.

I kept on hugging her and whispered, "Shhhh Shhhh. It's fine,"

"Anyways, I'll finish the truth," She breathed from her mouth. "He told me that he was scared because he fell in love for the first time with me and he didn't know how to handle the feelings which were so foreign to him. He told he was scared to hurt me because he was inexperienced and that's why he thought leaving everything behind in the past will be the right decision to make. He said he is so sorry for hurting me like that and asked me to do a favour by trying to forgive him. I started crying immediately after hearing all those words and he comforted me just like old times. It felt so good to be in his arms again. I felt safe, you know and happy. He told me he is still in love with me but he won't tell me to come back because he knows I'm not ready to go back or worse – I might have moved on. I told him I forgave him, and even nodded but didn't reply about being with him because I wasn't in a state of answering. I was already so hurt bad confused about mom and then, the confrontation so I just got up from there and ran away. I washed my face in a washroom down the hall and came directly to you."

"Yvonne, you are so strong. You looked fine when you came back from home even after hearing the terrible news. You could've said that you changed your mind but no you didn't, you didn't let yourself be vulnerable. But deep down, I know your mind isn't here with you because you are thinking about your mom since then. Even after hearing such words from an old love, you seemed fine. You are so strong, girl. Teach me how to be as strong as you. Trust me, everything will work out and I know that God won't be unfair to you this time. Trust God and believe that your mom will be okay soon. She can win this difficult battle because she loves you and will fight for her life for you and your family. She will make it." I assured her.

"I hope so too. And Summer, remember when I told you to try staying away from Jason?"

"Yes, I do. I remember everything human!" I chuckled.

"Well, don't think I said all that out of jealousy that you might jump on him after you meet him. I was genuinely concerned for you after what he did to me but I admit, a little little little teeny tiny bit of jealousy might have been there. Please don't judge."

I started to laugh out loud.

Laughing, I said, "Stupid human, you are overthinking! That hasn't even crossed my mind and now as you have admitted that a little little little teeny tiny bit of jealousy might be there, my answer is - I'm not surprised."

"You aren't?"

"Uh-huh,"I shook my head.

"You don't need Einstein's brain to figure out that you are still in love with him,"

"But what I said about girls here were all true. All are slutty and bitches, excluding me."

"Uh-huh," I shook my head, which made her frown in confusion.

"Including you too," I laughed.

"You are so mean!"

"I don't care!" She hit me playfully so I snarled and hit back. Soon, we busted out laughing.

"I was just actually concerned about you and that's why I warned you about the girls here. They only good thing about them is that they don't bully like in high school because bullying is not good. Every human has something good in him/her and these girls are kind and empathetic at times."

I nodded, smiling. "Thank you for caring so much about me, grandma!"

"Hey! I'm not old, you ass!" She hit me again, and I hit back. One thing led to another, and we ended up having a quiet and small pillow fight, which distracted her from all her shits and worries. And I was indebted for it.

I thought I found a true friend here – one who's going to be there for you through thick and thin but that very moment, I realized that not only did I make a true friend here but also a special bond. A bond that cannot be broken. No matter what happens.

***

A/N: If you find any error, please do inform me. I'll be very much obliged :}