KABANATA 5/revised

Kabanata 5

Standing  on his black monterio is the monster himself. He stood with a written annoyance waiting for me outside the office. I peeked in my office window as he was bored waiting for me outside. 

"Tanga ka Clea, tingnan mo 'yang mata mo! Galak na galak lang?" 

Kinurot ako ni Karen ng makita niyang nakasilip ako sa bintana and I know how my eyes are glistening with happiness as my stare bore toward the peeve monster as he is now playing his tongue, hands both inside his jeans' pocket. He's like those versions of mafias I read in books. Elegant, intimidating, and he has the body of the Gods in mount Olympus. Can't get over him. 

I snap my gaze out of my husband and haughtily smile at Karen. "I'm happy he's waiting for me today."

Bumalik ulit ako sa swivel chair and I saw how Karen rolled her eyes back and fourth as to what I said. 

"Minsan Clea tingnan mo rin kung may magbabago ba talaga. Aren't you curious as to why he is giving you care and attention again?" 

Of course. I am. But what can I do when all those years I've been in hell with him? This is the only time I  experience the bliss of heaven as he touches me with his callused hands and envelops me through his warmth. 

"Clea… I'm happy to see you smile and happy but I'm afraid he has something in his sleeves again to ruin you." 

She added shaking her head in disappointment but what else could be ruined when he is my greatest turmoil and I welcome the havoc he is giving me.

Malakas akong napabuntong-hininga. "Ren… can't I be happy once? I don't care how much pain  he will cause me again pero pwede bang maramdaman ko ulit ngayon ang Miguel na minahal ko noon?" 

Tuluyan ng pumatak ang luha sa'king mata. I've been seeing and feeling pain for too long, can't I mingle with happiness again? 

I know he's a monster, he killed me with  his venomous spell pierced through my heart and into my soul but I'm a willing victim. It may be cliche to everyone but I can even catch a bullet for him. I'm a martyr in love and Miguel is my greatest downfall. 

Marahang lumapit sa'kin ang kaibigan, binigyan ako ng isang matamlay na ngiti at mahigpit na niyakap. "I'm your friend, I just don't want you to get hurt again. I mean… you're always hurting." 

She jokes the last words making me pinch her as we are sloppy laughing. 

She withdraw her embrace and sit in front of me. "Kailan ka ba lalabas dito, e sinusundo ka na?"

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at curious na kinuha ang mga papeles sa aking lamesa at binuklat-buklat. 

I shook my head at muling ibinalik ang tingin sa computer ko. "Twenty minutes dahil may tatapusin pa akong report." 

I didn't see her roll her eyes since I'm focused on my work. Pero nakikita ko siya sa isip ko na naka-rolyo ang mata. I guess, it would be different seeing Karen not rolling her eyes on me and in everything she doesn't like to see or hear.

Tumayo siya at muling tumingin sa bintana and I'm sure she's looking to Miguel, I just see her in my peripheral vision moving. 

"Kung ako sa'yo tumayo ka na d'yan at umuwi kasama ng mahal mong asawa dahil ang sama-sama na ng tingin rito sa opisina mo!" 

Marahas niyang binalik ang kurtina at nakasandig na tumingin sa'kin with her left brow raise on. It's kinda weird hearing her talk in a poetic words. 

"Kung nag-aalala ka sa trabaho mo, guess what? I'm your secretary so leave it to me. Gad!" 

Frustrated niyang sabi sabay higit sa'kin patayo and what can I do when my secretary is now acting as my boss? 

Bahagya ko siyang tinawanan ng siya ang umupo sa swivel chair ko at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa ko.

"I thought you don't like Miguel for me? Ba't parang ngayon pinagtutulakan mo na ako sa kanya bruha?"

She gave me her lazy eyes and again for the nth time gave me her rolling eyes pero agad niya naman itong ibinalik sa kanyang ginagawa. 

"Tanga. I don't like Miguel but I like seeing you smile and Gad Caprice, look at your eyes as they dance with happiness today!" She shouted. 

She gave me her death glare again so I raised my hands as a sign that I'm defeated. I know my eyes glisten with joy and excitement, thankful that sorrow and pain didn't visit me when I woke up this morning. 

"Thanks, Ren." I gave her my veracious smile but knowing her, she just nodded and gave me her knitted brows and rolling eyes. 

She hums, strips her gaze back to my computer. " Just go, Caprice. I know how excited you are to go home being fetched by your husband."

She grimaced as she said those words, albeit I understand where her hatred is coming from. She hasn't liked Miguel since day one and she doesn't even hide her annoyance whenever I tell her about Miguel and me. She's my friend and she knows me well. Sometimes I'm so afraid of hiding things from here, because, with just one look she will read me deep into my soul. 

I shake my head in despair at how Karen wouldn't change her perspective with my husband. Miguel may be a monster but I know he's a good guy, he's just clouded with his monster that he chose to become one. I know him, he's selfless but that was before albeit he still can change. 

I fix my things fastly as I know Miguel is impatient and he could spit venom right now but I think he won't. He's getting back, I just hope so. 

"And Clea… can you at least promise to call me kapag may masamang nangyari? I'm your best friend and you know you can share anything with me. Please?" 

She said before I could hold the door. I saw her eyes glitters as tears cascaded to her cheeks. I gasped in awe at how fast things changed. One moment she's this bitchy and now, she became my soft Karen and I love these two sides of her. 

I nodded seemingly for I know I can't promise her anything. She's also dealing with her own dilemma and the least I could do is give her mine. My problem is mine to deal with. I know she just wants to be involved but as much as possible, I don't want anyone to know about Miguel hurting me physically for it will stain his reputation. 

I curtly smiled and waved my hands as I saw her wiping off her tears. I opened the door without giving any side glances and went out fastly as I know the monster is impatient and he might spit fire again. 

Ngumiting binuksan ni manong guard sa'kin ang pintuan palabas. Agad na nagtaas ng tingin si Miguel ng makita niya akong lumabas, rinig ko naman ang masayang halakhak ni manong guard ng makita naming nagtaas ng kilay si Miguel sa'kin. 

"Naku ma'am, mukhang badtrip na po kakahintay sa inyo si sir." Nakangiting wika niya sa'kin. 

I just shook my head and smiled. "Let him be, manong." 

"Ingat po kayo ma'am!" Sigaw ni manong ng makalayo na ako sa pintuan, Miguel's gaze didn't leave as I walk towards him. 

"Hi." I whisper curtly, making his brows knitted again. 

Nakataas niyang kilay na tiningnan muli ang opisina ko bago bumalik ang tingin sa'kin. He studied me for awhile. "Why are you so long?"

Binuksan niya ang pintuan ng sasakyan kaya mahinahon akong pumasok but his knitted brows are still lingering as he enter inside the car. Masama niya akong tinitigan at ang mga kamay ay nasa steering wheel kaya nagyuko ako ng ulo. I know he's impatient but I also didn't tell him to fetch me. 

"Ba't 'di ka sumasagot, Cleopatra?" I gaze back as I know he's starting to get mad. 

Pinaglaruan ko ang mga kamay dahil sa kabang namumuo sa dibdib ko at marahan siyang tinitigan bago sinagot. "I still has paper works kaya natagalan bago ako nakalabas." Mahaba kung paliwanag kaya unti-unti nawawala ang pagkakunot ng noo niya at malakas ng bumuntong-hininga. 

"Give me a kiss." He demanded kaya nagulat akong tiningnan siya, muling tumaas ang makapal niyang kilay ng makita niya ang reaksyon ko. "what now Cleopatra?"

Pinuno ko ng hangin ang dibdib bago marahang lumapit sa kanya, I stiffly kiss his cheeks as I know I'm nervous and embarrassed! I'm his wife for heaven's pity, I'm so nervous kissing him. 

Muli akong umayos ng upo at tumingin sa labas dahil sa nagbabaga niyang tingin and I don't like to stare at his blue orbs for I know I will get drown again. 

"That's it?" Frightened with what he said ay mabilis na bumaling ang ulo ko sa direksyon niya. 

I saw how his eyes dance mischievous, smirking by my frightened reaction, impishly startling me as his face  slowly came close to mine. My mouth gaped in awe. His lips locked with mine and the only thing that came out on my own is a moan in restraint mixed with pleasure. 

Mas pinalalim niya ang halik ng hawakan niya ng maigi ang batok ko making me near him closely. I don't know how many minutes it take but to my shock I saw manong guard eyeing confusedly as to why are car aren't still moving kaya marahan kung pinalo ang kamay ni Miguel at galit na pinakawalan ang labi ko. 

"What the hell--" he supposed to said but ended up at glaring me as I pointed manong guard outside na pabalik-balik ang tingin sa sasakyan namin. 

Sinundan niya ng tingin ang kamay ko at marahas na ginulo ang buhok at ako naman dito ay gulat, kinabahan and I just thanks heaven that the car is tainted or else, tomorrow I will be the gossip mongering of all our employees. 

He gave me another look, that kind of look na umayos ka dahil hindi pa ako kuntento sa halik na binigay mo kaya kahit nanginginig sa kaba ay agad akong umayos ng upo at marahang sinuklay ang buhok dahil ginulo lang naman ito ng halimaw kanina. 

"Tara na?" I ask him shakingly. 

He gave me his lingering boyish stare before starting the engine of the car. I fasten my seatbelt dahil marahas niya akong tiningnan ng hindi niya makitang naka-seatbelt ako. I know I'm reckless and one of my recklessness most of the time is not wearing seatbelts while driving because it made me feel so uncomfortable. 

"Next time don't kiss your husband in his cheek. Sa susunod Cleopatra sa labas na ng opisina mo kita hahalikan para maraming makakita!" 

I move my head to him, scandalize to what he just said! This moron as the audacity to say it loud! Hindi dahil gustong-gusto ko ang halik niya ay may karapatan na siyang halikan ako sa mismong labas ng opisina ko. Gad, all our employees are gossipers and seeing me kissed by my husband will surely make them touch. I don't want to be their topic for a week, dahil lang sa halik. I like his kisses but being seen kissed him in the company isn't one of my kinks. 

Dumaan kami sa may grocery store which made me think of our stocks at home and I'm sure it's spent, it was two weeks ago since I bought it. 

"Miguel tumigil mo na tayo saglit sa mall, I'm sure ubos na ang stock ng pagkain sa bahay." 

I gave him my gaze and he simply nodded before pulling the car in the parking lot. Dahil nga uwian na ngayon ay maraming tao ngayon sa mall, making the parking almost filled with cars that being parked. Ilang beses pa kaming naghanap ng mapa-parkingan dahil sa hindi na maka-parking and ended up parking meters away from the place. 

Sabay kaming naglakad papuntang mall, mabuti nalang hapon na ngayon at wala na ang init ng araw, Miguel is following me as highschool girls blatantly staring at him as he simply fix his scruffy hair. I saw how their eyes sigh dreamingly whenever my husband would shake his head side ways kaya hinintay ko muna siyang makalapit sa'kin dahil nga nauna akong maglakad.