Chapter 5

Freya's pov

“Hold still, Freya. You are going to ruin the braid," Sera said.

“I am holding still"

Her fingers paused in my hair and she met my eyes in the mirror.

“You are holding still? You look like you are having a full conversation inside your head," she sighed. "Whatever you are arguing with yourself about, stop. You look beautiful. Focus on that.”

I looked at the woman in the mirror and she was unrecognizable. She had colour in her cheeks and her hair had been braided back in the style of the royal pack's ceremonial tradition, with small flowers that Sera had spent forty minutes weaving into my hair.

And that person was surprisingly me.

I was putting on an expensive but simple ivory dress, falling to the floor and leaving my collarbone bare, revealing a faint crescent birthmark

“Sera"

“Mm"

“Do you think…” I stopped and tried again. "Do you think he is ready for this?”

Her hands slowed slightly. "My brother has been ready for very little in his life and has done it anyway.”

"That's not an answer”

She shrugged. "It's the most honest one I have. Freya, in twenty years of watching my brother through this world, I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

She placed both hands on my shoulder. "That's my answer"

“Ready?" Sera asked me as we were about to enter the hall. I swallowed. My heart was beating fast. Was I ready?

I thought about the last three weeks, about how the pack welcomed me as theirs, about Ragnar who had come to find me every evening without announcement and sat beside me in the gardens, answering every question I had.

“Ready," I said.

He was standing at the far end of the hall. He wore deep black clothing with silver at the collar and cuffs. His eyes found me the moment the doors opened.

He watched me walk towards him, with a striking composure but in his eyes, I saw something that looked like fear. But for what?

I snapped the thoughts away as I focused on Elder Corvin reaching the invocation of acceptance. The moment where Ragnar would speak the words that bound us together.

He hesitated and something in my chest shifted.

“Ragnar"

I didn't move. I was not sure I was capable of moving. Then he looked at me, with a mask that I thought I was beginning to understand.

“I, Ragnar Vargbane, reject you, Freya Asher as my mate and Luna”

Eliza screamed. She howled against my ribcage until I couldn't feel the difference between her pain and mine.

“Ragnar," Sera’s voice rose behind me. “What have you…”

"You don't have to do this,” I said, my voice barely audible.

"Whatever the reason is. Whatever you are afraid of. You don't have to do this here, in front of all of them. You could have…”

“It's done," he said as he turned to leave. He didn't even look back at me.

“Freya." Sera said standing beside me.

I was dizzy and the world suddenly tilted.

“I trusted..."

The world went black.

"She is awake.” I heard someone say. I opened my eyes to white ceilings and the smell of antiseptic.

I turned my head. Sera was sitting beside me, her eyes red and puffy.

She snorted. “I am sorry. I didn't know he was going to… I never would have let you walk in there if I had known. I swear to you…”

I shook my head. I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't ready for another excuse.

A doctor walked in at that moment. He looked young with a chart on his hands.

“Luna Freya," he began but then shook his head. “Miss Freya, How are you feeling?"

“What is wrong with me?"

He glanced at Sera then back at me. “Nothing is wrong. The fainting was caused by the strain of the bond rejection, which is expected, as the body undergoes significant…" Then he paused. "Miss Freya, you are pregnant."

I stilled. Pregnant?

How…

How could I be pregnant?

The doctor continued. "You are four to five weeks along”

I did the arithmetic in my head. Four to five weeks could be Thorne. Four to five weeks could be Ragnar.

Oh Goddess.

Sera didn't say anything and I appreciated her silence more than I could have said.

I didn't know when the doctor left. I couldn't even feel my body. I placed my hands on my belly. Whose are you?

“I am leaving," I said, making up my mind.

“Freya…"

“I need to go"

“No." Sera rose to her feet immediately. “No, listen to me. What he did today was… I have no words for what he did today, and I promise you I will be having that conversation with him but you are still welcome here. The pack is not only him. You do not have to go.”

"Sera.” I looked at her. My voice broke. "Tell me how do I stay? In a place where everyone just watched me be rejected at my own mating ceremony? How do I stay?”

She opened her mouth and closed it. I couldn't stay. I had to protect my baby even though I had no idea who the father was.