Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I tore through my closet for something decent to wear.

It had taken an hour to get out of that stuffy room. An hour of nodding my head and promising to be a good non-shifting whatever the hell I was. An hour of promising not to show or tell a single soul about the handprint on my shoulder–Kota and Elena included.

As if.

It had taken me half of that time to squeeze their location out of Mrs. Davenport.

After explaining they were at a freshman field day the college held every summer, she exhaled through her nose and huffed. “It’s about time they did something other than search for you. I thought Elena would never come home. They tried to get a party together and everything, but–well, no one is interested in looking for a wolf who can’t shift. It’s a blessing you aren’t dead,” she ranted.

Rage once again simmered beneath my skin.

I was still raw from my hasty shower when I backed my car out of the driveway. The stinging had gone down by the time I reached the college.

There were people spilling out of the courtyard and onto the long stretches of grass. Music weaved in between them, coming from somewhere further off. There were males hoisting coolers of beer over their heads, whooping as they marched over to a group of grills, their smoke already curling into the air.. 

My eyes darted over to a group that had broken out some water guns. 

Avoiding them, I pushed through and started playing a game of Where’s Waldo. A tug in my chest led me to the left, past a slip-and-slide someone had coated in chocolate syrup. 

There was already a line forming. 

I found Kota first. He stood against the wall of the auditorium, his arms folded over his chest and his head lowered. Elena stood beside him, her eyes ringed with dark. 

The distance closed between us and her name lingered on my tongue when the pair looked up, finally noticing me. Elena’s eyes went so wide I could see every inch of white. She broke into a sprint while Kota remained where he stood, a look of pure disbelief on his face.

She slammed into me with a grunt, her arms wrapped so tightly around my neck that spots danced in my eyes. Just as quickly, she jumped back. 

“I’m fighting the urge to slap you right now. What the absolute fucking hell, Chloe Clark.” 

I reared my head back, stunned at honest-to-goddess anger in her voice. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to go missing. Goddess, that even sounds insane. Please, just let me explain–”

“Let you explain?” Kota’s voice rumbled. He had finally unglued himself from the wall and now stood close enough to touch. “After what you did, you want us to let you explain?”

Pinching the bridge of my nose at the hurt in his voice, I held up a hand as if it could stop this avalanche. “Wait a damn second. What exactly did I do, Kota?”

Elena’s eyes cut to the left and a soft snarl slid past her lips. “Not around all of these ears.” 

We rounded the back of the building where a large patch of shade sat, courtesy of a wall of trees past the college’s property line.

The moment we were out of sight, Kota snapped. “How can you even ask that? You run away and leave some half-assed note, only to change your mind a week later?”

“I didn’t leave you a note, because I didn’t run away.” I said in a tone that had him snapping his jaw shut. 

He pulled a slip of paper from his front pocket and mumbled, “I guess I’m just imagining things, then.”

The note was crudely folded, the corners not even remotely touching. I would’ve done it perfectly.

Kota,

I wish I could say I’m sorry, but this is something I’ve needed to do for a really long time. I haven’t been happy. Not here, not in this pack, not with you. I tried so hard to be grateful for what I had, but I couldn’t. I’m selfish. I want more to my life than living surrounded by people who have something I’ll never, ever have. Let's face it, I don’t belong here. I never have. You deserve better than me.

Chloe

I lifted my head slowly, the rage in my eyes so blistering I swore I was about to start leaking smoke. “You deserve better than me. In what reality would I have ever said that? And this isn’t even my handwriting!” I looked between the two of them. “You are going to believe me. I didn’t do this. Even if I had, which I wouldn’t, why would I show back up a week later?”

“I don’t know why you do what you do anymore,” Kota looked away, and pulled something else out of his pocket. “You left this with the note.”

The necklace he’d gotten me from the flea market years ago dangled from his fingers. The necklace I wore every single day–including the day I was murdered.

“I–” 

My voice cracked as realization hit me. Someone had murdered me. Shoved me off a cliff and stole my necklace afterwards, just to use it to make it look like I had run away.

How. dare. they.

“I can tell you, but not here. We need to be somewhere private.” I said.

He shook his head and pocketed my necklace. A war waged within the depths of his hazel eyes. “I can’t do this right now, Chloe. I don’t know what to believe.”

Elena called out to him as he turned and walked away, melting back into the crowd. 

A cruel laugh sat in the back of my throat. When I found the person that did this to me… I couldn’t let myself go down that path right now. Later, then.

Elena sighed. “You said you had an explanation, right? Well, I want to hear it.” She laced her arm with mine and gave me a shadow of her smile. “Let's go before the media arrives.”

It was inside my bedroom, nestled against the headboard just as we’d done when we were kids, that I showed Elena the goddess mark.

There had been an initial flash of fear so explosive that I was stunned it had come from her. Never had someone looked at me like that. Quickly it was replaced with shock, amazement, and even a touch of envy.

“That’s a–a–a–” 

I pinched her arm. “Quit malfunctioning.”

She pinched me back. “I’m not malfunctioning. I’m in shock.”

Elena leaned in close and inspected the handprint, as if she were trying to see the whorls in each finger and the creases in the palm. 

“I want to touch it.” Her voice oozed excitement. “Oh, come on! Let me be one of the only wolves in existence to touch a goddess mark. I want to see if my hands are the same size as our goddesses.”

My eyes rolled into the back of my head. “Help yourself.”

She pressed her fingers against the layer of gold. “It’s colder than the rest of you. Can you feel it? It’s like it erased part of your scar.”

“Weird right? No, not really. It all just feels like skin to me.”

Her face turned ashen as she examined her fingertips. “So, this happened after you died? Goddess, Chloe… I’m so sorry you went through that alone. That sounds so terrifying.” 

“It was,” I forced the words out, making no mention of the hands that had been at my back, sending me flying to this fate. “I should’ve been watching where I was going. Guess that’s what I get for having borderline human senses. I know I don’t need to say it, but don’t tell anyone.”

I hated lying to her, but this was one truth that refused to squirm free. Its shadow hid in the back of my mind, peeking around corners and shaking its head. Don’t tell anyone, it said. Not even those you trust. This is dangerous information.

Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. “You shouldn’t have been there at all, because Kota should’ve picked you up on time.”

Yes, he should have.

I tugged at a stray thread in the blanket we lounged on. “Blaming yourself doesn’t change the situation. Maybe this will be a good thing …if I can get Kota to believe me.”

Elena sat forward and tucked her hair behind her ears. “The mark on your shoulder is real. There’s no denying that, but the situation with the letter is different. You’re telling me someone found your …your body, stole your necklace, and wrote a letter as if you ran away. I know the wolves here can be a bit …cruel, but that’s like actual insanity. Who would even do something like that?”

My eyes focused on a dark corner in the room, one the lamp on my bedside table couldn’t illuminate.

“Someone who was glad to see me dead, that’s who.” 

We wound up moving from my bed to the sofa in Elena’s bedroom, which I slept on some nights. My blankets were piled across the back along with the pillow I’d stolen from her when I first moved in. 

She gracefully let me have it. Mostly because she knew I’d never give it up.

I had issues sleeping, and the only person who knew about it was Elena. Staying in her room kept me free from the poisonous silence I avoided at all costs. My mind wasn’t a kind place. It was a stretch of road sliced through a barren wasteland. My bare feet slapped against the asphalt, bloody and sore. The feeling of being chased lingered in my coiled muscles, always bracing for impact.

A storm cracked in the distance, each one a memory I fought to outrun. 

A piece of popcorn pelted me in the forehead, leaving behind a chocolate smear from the candies Elena had dumped into the bowl. 

“Georgia Carpenter said you made the squad, by the way.” She made a sour face and rolled onto her stomach, propping her head in her hands. Earlier she’d been laying on her back, dropping the pieces into her mouth one by one, trying to catch them. “You were named captain of the all-girls squad, but since you weren’t there to answer the coach’s call she gave it to her second option.”

My eyes narrowed into slits. I kicked my favorite candy heart blanket to the floor. “Who?”

“A good friend wouldn’t tell you while you have that murdery look on your face. It’s just not right, really.” Those lips stretched into a grin, and she giggled. Immediately I felt the urge to laugh. “A sister on the other hand would. She gave it to Joanna Taylor.”

I slapped a pillow over my face to muffle the tirade I was about to go on. 

“I know,” Elena cooed tenderly. “Let it out. Let it all out.”

Joanna was just another beta she-wolf with a superiority complex. Always staring down her nose at me, and that was when she was forced to look my way. She wasn’t the only she-wolf on the team to hate that I had been captain.

I was sure they’d all be thrilled that I was replaced.

“I need to shower,” I jumped to my feet and headed to the bathroom. “With my luck it’ll wash off in the shower and I’ll be a wolfless little human again.”

“Quit being a downer and go clean yourself. You still smell like you’ve been in the woods for seven days.”

“It’s too soon for crappy jokes.” I slammed the door shut.

When I finished showering again I went into my own bedroom to grab a change of clothes. I had just slipped on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of underwear when there was a knock at my window. Specifically, it was four soft knocks and two hard ones.

It was a code we came up with when we were kids.

Nudging the bathroom door shut, I went over to the window and spotted Kota gripping onto the windowsill. Our initials were carved just a few inches past his fingertips.

“Open up,” he mouthed, pointing at the lock. When I hesitated he rolled his eyes and pouted.

I slid the window open and stepped back, arms folded over my chest in defense, as he slipped inside. He’d changed since earlier, and showered too. The scent of his minty body wash was overpowering. 

Lifting my chin at him, I swept my eyes from the window to his face. “This is still my bedroom, just so you know. Did you stop by to make sure I didn’t come back for the furniture?”

“Damn, Chlo. Retract your claws. I thought about what you said, and I want to hear the truth.” Claiming the spot at the end of my bed, he kicked his shoes off and waited, jaw tensed. “I’ll admit, there are some things that don’t add up, but think about it from my side. If I had left some note and ran away–”

“I would have known it wasn’t you.”

“You don’t know that.” He frowned at the prospect. Doubt slashed at his rugged features. “I didn’t come here to argue. I just want the truth.”

It was aggravating, swallowing the uncertainty in his voice. Kota had never doubted me before, not once. It didn’t dawn on me until now how precious his and Elena’s trust was. How much I valued it, because not once had I experienced it with anyone else.

“You want the truth?” The same feeling hit my gut, warning me to keep my mouth shut, but this was Kota we were talking about. “Something happened to me, and the only way I can explain it is to show you.”

Chills swept down my body as my t-shirt fell to the floor.

Kota’s eyes landed on my chest, but quickly trailed up to my shoulders, landing on the handprint branded into my body.

He went completely still. “I don’t understand.”

“Yes you do,” I said softly. “You know what this is. I don’t know why it happened to me, but it did. Our goddess–”

“But you don’t have a wolf.” His tone brought a snarl to my lips. It was like he was trying to remind me of something I knew. Something I dealt with every single day. I stepped back when he approached, his comment zinging through my body like electricity. His hands met my arms, fingers grazing over the goddess mark once, then twice, then a third time.

The sincerity in his gaze, the way it pulled me in and brought me home, had me cooling off.

“You know I didn’t mean it that way. I’ve never cared about that, not once. I’m just stunned. There isn’t a wolf alive that thinks they’ll live to meet one of the goddess-touched, let alone become one. You’re incredible.” His eyes continued to roam the handprint.

I glanced away. “You made it sound like I didn’t deserve to be goddess-touched because I don’t have a wolf.” 

He lifted my chin, a new emotion sparkling in his eyes. I had no clue what it was, but it brought out the whispers of forest green I couldn’t get enough of. “If anyone deserves it, it’s you. You’re special, Chlo. Anyone who’s close to you knows that.”

Stepping into the warmth his body oozed, our lips collided and a sigh slipped out. 

“I’ll strangle you if you tell anyone I said this, but I think I’m starting to fall in love with you.”

The knot that had been strangling my insides was loosening as the feeling of home returned. Everything was as it should be. Well, it was close. Once I found the person who left that note then everything would be as it should. 

Slipping my arms around his neck, I let out a squeal as he grabbed my legs, wrapping them around his waist. He settled back onto the bed, his hands on my hips as our lips joined a second time. There was a new hunger to his touch, as if I’d ignited something new within him at my confession.

I bit down on Kota’s lip, swallowing his grumbled complaint. He started playing with my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers.

“I’m not going to break, you know.” I grinded against his hardness and smirked when he groaned into my mouth. “You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass.”

The pressure of his hands increased along with the temperature in the room, but it wasn’t enough. After slipping my hands beneath his shirt, it quickly found its way onto the floor. My skin was prickling with heat that only Kota could douse. 

I was unzipping his pants when the bathroom door swung open and Elena walked inside. 

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking.” She yelped, jumping a solid foot into the air. Nearly losing her balance she grabbed onto the corner of my dresser for support. “I heard the bed bang against the wall and I didn’t know what was going on. We’ve all been a bit jumpy lately.”

There was no reason for me to feel guilty, and yet I did. There were dark circles around her eyes, and her hair wasn’t nearly as shiny and smooth as it usually was. She wasn’t wearing makeup, either. 

I covered my breasts with my arm. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen them before, given we had skinny dipped several times at the cabin over the years, but I wasn’t nearly as blessed in the chest department as she was. 

“It’s fine,” I replied. “We’ve all been through it. Maybe we just need to have one of our sleepovers, binge junk food, and watch movies that’ll probably give us nightmares. We need a bit of normal. 

Her shoulders relaxed. “Yeah, I could use normal.”

“I second that.” Kota said from beneath me, his chocolate hair tousled and a lopsided smile painted across his handsome face.

“Normal it is.”

Then tomorrow I would start my search.