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Chapter thirty two: Will he stay?

Author: Tori
last update publish date: 2026-05-16 05:25:49

I stared at my phone after sending the message, my thumb hovering slightly over the screen.

How about that date?

The more I looked at it, the more unnecessary it started to feel.

Maybe I only sent it because I needed a distraction. Maybe I just wanted something lighter to focus on after everything that happened earlier. Either way, suddenly the message felt impulsive enough to make me want to take it back.

I was already about to delete it when my phone buzz
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  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter Fifty: Last Week

    By the last week before the holidays, the whole campus looked exhausted.Exams were already going on, and everybody seemed to be running on little sleep and too much caffeine. Students sat on the steps outside lecture halls with their books open, groups gathered around past questions, and there were people everywhere asking each other things they should have learned weeks ago.I had an exam the next morning, and I still had a few topics left.I had tried reading in my room all afternoon, but after staring at the same page for almost an hour, I gave up.So that night, I packed my books into my bag and headed to one of the lecture halls.It was already crowded when I got there.I found an empty seat at the back, plugged in my charger, and opened my notebook.For the next hour, I managed to concentrate.I didn't think about Jay.I didn't think about Bree.I didn't think about the pregnancy tests sitting inside my room.I just read.It was easier that way.Around nine, I reached for the b

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter Forty Nine: After

    I woke up the next morning with a headache.For a few seconds, I didn't remember why.Then I saw the pregnancy tests on my nightstand.I stared at them until everything from yesterday came rushing back.He literally asked if the pregnancy was his.I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head. A dry laugh escaped me.I didn't want to think about him.Unfortunately, my brain didn't care what I wanted.I kept hearing his voice.Are you sure it's mine?I knew what he had meant, and I knew he had apologized almost immediately, but that didn't make the words disappear.I had been so scared when I first saw the results, and somehow I had still expected Jay to make me feel less afraid.Instead, I had walked away feeling even worse.My phone buzzed beside me.I reached for it without thinking.Jay.I stared at his name.Jay: You got home?I read it twice.That was all he had to say?I typed a reply, deleted it, then typed again.Me: Yes.His reply came a few minutes later.Jay: Okay.I dr

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter Forty Eight: The Girl

    “Hello?”I froze.It wasn't Jay.I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen again, just to make sure I hadn't somehow called the wrong person.Jay's name was still there.“Hello?” the girl said again.“Who is this?”There was a pause.“Who are you looking for?”“Jay.”“Oh.”That tiny response made my eyebrows pull together.“Can I speak to him?”“He's in the bathroom.”I sat up.“The bathroom?”“Yeah.”I didn't know why I repeated it, but the fact that another girl was answering Jay's phone while he was in the bathroom suddenly felt like something I needed to hear twice.“Can you give him the phone when he comes back?”“Sure.”I heard movement, then her voice became distant.“Jay, someone is calling you.”I waited.A few seconds passed before I heard him.“Hello?”I closed my eyes.“Hi.”“Anna?”“Yeah.”“What happened?”I almost smiled at that because there was a time when hearing concern in his voice would have been enough to calm me down.Now I couldn't even tell i

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter Forty Seven: Then

    I didn't sleep much that night.Every time I closed my eyes, my mind went back to him.Jay.It was strange how someone could be such a huge part of your life and then suddenly feel like someone you barely knew.A few months ago, I never had to question where I stood with him.I knew.I knew the way he smiled when he was trying not to laugh.I knew the way he would look at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.I knew the little things he did without even realizing it.Now I found myself thinking about every conversation we had, every short reply, every moment where he seemed distant, trying to figure out when exactly things changed between us.Maybe that was why my mind kept going back.Because I missed the version of him I knew.The memory came slowly.I remembered that day.I remembered how nervous I had been, even though I tried not to show it.Jay always noticed things about me before I said them out loud."You know you don't have to be nervous around me, right?" he had sai

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter Forty six: Processing

    I stared at the second test kit in my hand for what felt like forever. The result hadn't changed. The two pink lines remained there, staring back at me like they were mocking every attempt my brain was making to explain them away. My fingers tightened around the plastic stick as my chest rose and fell unevenly. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Not now. Not with him. A shaky breath escaped me as I looked between the two tests sitting on the bathroom counter. Both of them carried the exact same answer. Both of them were telling me the exact same thing. I was pregnant. The thought still didn't feel real. It felt like something that happened to other people. Something I read about in stories or heard about through whispered conversations between friends. Not me. I was supposed to be worrying about school. About my future. About why Jay had suddenly become so distant. Instead, I was sitting on a closed toilet seat with two positive pregnancy tests in front

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter Forty Five: Pregnant??

    I decided to stop forcing things.That realization came quietly to me that morning while I stared at the ceiling with my blanket wrapped around my body. There was no dramatic moment attached to it. I just suddenly felt tired.Tired of trying to pull closeness out of people who were already drifting away from me.If Ella wanted space, I would give it to her.If Jay wanted distance, I wouldn't keep chasing after explanations that never came.People stay when they want to stay.That thought hurt more than I wanted it to.I rolled onto my back slowly and stared at the soft light coming through my curtains. My room felt unusually quiet. Almost too quiet.Part of me still felt guilty over Ella.Maybe grief really did change people. Maybe losing her dad affected her more deeply than I understood. She probably needed different people around her now. Lighter people. Happier people.People who didn't constantly carry emotional weight around with them.I couldn't even blame her properly.But Jay

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter twenty nine: Safe, In danger?

    Ella and I got back late.Not extremely late, but late enough that my heels were already annoying me and Ella was still talking about the party like we hadn't just spent hours there together. "I still can't believe that guy fell into the speaker," she said while laughing for the h

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter twenty four: Dancing with danger

    I opened the door and Jay was there. He didn't step in immediately like he used to. He just looked at me for a second like he was trying to figure something out about me before I even said anything. "You're home," he said. "I said I was," I replied and moved aside so he could come i

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter twenty three: Things I forgot on purpose

    When I got back to school, everything looked the same. Same buildings, same noise, same people moving around like nothing had changed. But something felt off. Not around me. Inside me. I dropped my bag on the bed and sat down slowly, staring at nothing in particular. I though

  • HER: Secrets I carried alone    Chapter thirteen :What was left unsaid

    That evening I woke up with a heavy heart. I thought sleep would fix it, but it didn’t. Instead, I woke up with a heavy head too. I had no appetite, just a strange emptiness sitting in my chest. Ella didn’t text.We usually just chat, so I didn’t expect a call anyway… but I still didn’t kn

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