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Chapter thirty two: Will he stay?
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2026-05-16 05:25:49
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HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Fifty: Last Week
By the last week before the holidays, the whole campus looked exhausted.Exams were already going on, and everybody seemed to be running on little sleep and too much caffeine. Students sat on the steps outside lecture halls with their books open, groups gathered around past questions, and there were people everywhere asking each other things they should have learned weeks ago.I had an exam the next morning, and I still had a few topics left.I had tried reading in my room all afternoon, but after staring at the same page for almost an hour, I gave up.So that night, I packed my books into my bag and headed to one of the lecture halls.It was already crowded when I got there.I found an empty seat at the back, plugged in my charger, and opened my notebook.For the next hour, I managed to concentrate.I didn't think about Jay.I didn't think about Bree.I didn't think about the pregnancy tests sitting inside my room.I just read.It was easier that way.Around nine, I reached for the b
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty Nine: After
I woke up the next morning with a headache.For a few seconds, I didn't remember why.Then I saw the pregnancy tests on my nightstand.I stared at them until everything from yesterday came rushing back.He literally asked if the pregnancy was his.I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head. A dry laugh escaped me.I didn't want to think about him.Unfortunately, my brain didn't care what I wanted.I kept hearing his voice.Are you sure it's mine?I knew what he had meant, and I knew he had apologized almost immediately, but that didn't make the words disappear.I had been so scared when I first saw the results, and somehow I had still expected Jay to make me feel less afraid.Instead, I had walked away feeling even worse.My phone buzzed beside me.I reached for it without thinking.Jay.I stared at his name.Jay: You got home?I read it twice.That was all he had to say?I typed a reply, deleted it, then typed again.Me: Yes.His reply came a few minutes later.Jay: Okay.I dr
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty Eight: The Girl
“Hello?”I froze.It wasn't Jay.I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen again, just to make sure I hadn't somehow called the wrong person.Jay's name was still there.“Hello?” the girl said again.“Who is this?”There was a pause.“Who are you looking for?”“Jay.”“Oh.”That tiny response made my eyebrows pull together.“Can I speak to him?”“He's in the bathroom.”I sat up.“The bathroom?”“Yeah.”I didn't know why I repeated it, but the fact that another girl was answering Jay's phone while he was in the bathroom suddenly felt like something I needed to hear twice.“Can you give him the phone when he comes back?”“Sure.”I heard movement, then her voice became distant.“Jay, someone is calling you.”I waited.A few seconds passed before I heard him.“Hello?”I closed my eyes.“Hi.”“Anna?”“Yeah.”“What happened?”I almost smiled at that because there was a time when hearing concern in his voice would have been enough to calm me down.Now I couldn't even tell i
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty Seven: Then
I didn't sleep much that night.Every time I closed my eyes, my mind went back to him.Jay.It was strange how someone could be such a huge part of your life and then suddenly feel like someone you barely knew.A few months ago, I never had to question where I stood with him.I knew.I knew the way he smiled when he was trying not to laugh.I knew the way he would look at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.I knew the little things he did without even realizing it.Now I found myself thinking about every conversation we had, every short reply, every moment where he seemed distant, trying to figure out when exactly things changed between us.Maybe that was why my mind kept going back.Because I missed the version of him I knew.The memory came slowly.I remembered that day.I remembered how nervous I had been, even though I tried not to show it.Jay always noticed things about me before I said them out loud."You know you don't have to be nervous around me, right?" he had sai
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty six: Processing
I stared at the second test kit in my hand for what felt like forever. The result hadn't changed. The two pink lines remained there, staring back at me like they were mocking every attempt my brain was making to explain them away. My fingers tightened around the plastic stick as my chest rose and fell unevenly. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Not now. Not with him. A shaky breath escaped me as I looked between the two tests sitting on the bathroom counter. Both of them carried the exact same answer. Both of them were telling me the exact same thing. I was pregnant. The thought still didn't feel real. It felt like something that happened to other people. Something I read about in stories or heard about through whispered conversations between friends. Not me. I was supposed to be worrying about school. About my future. About why Jay had suddenly become so distant. Instead, I was sitting on a closed toilet seat with two positive pregnancy tests in front
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty Five: Pregnant??
I decided to stop forcing things.That realization came quietly to me that morning while I stared at the ceiling with my blanket wrapped around my body. There was no dramatic moment attached to it. I just suddenly felt tired.Tired of trying to pull closeness out of people who were already drifting away from me.If Ella wanted space, I would give it to her.If Jay wanted distance, I wouldn't keep chasing after explanations that never came.People stay when they want to stay.That thought hurt more than I wanted it to.I rolled onto my back slowly and stared at the soft light coming through my curtains. My room felt unusually quiet. Almost too quiet.Part of me still felt guilty over Ella.Maybe grief really did change people. Maybe losing her dad affected her more deeply than I understood. She probably needed different people around her now. Lighter people. Happier people.People who didn't constantly carry emotional weight around with them.I couldn't even blame her properly.But Jay
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter twenty nine: Safe, In danger?
Ella and I got back late.Not extremely late, but late enough that my heels were already annoying me and Ella was still talking about the party like we hadn't just spent hours there together. "I still can't believe that guy fell into the speaker," she said while laughing for the h
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter three: Broken Me
I thought not being a virgin at the time was a flex, but now I know otherwise. I wasn't forced; it was something I wanted to do. I just didn't think it would hurt this way. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. "Where are you going after school?" Bree asked. I just smiled at
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter two: Mistakes
“Anna, come downstairs, the lesson’s about to start!” Bree shouted. I rushed down because if we didn’t secure seats early, we’d be standing for four hours straight. We got there just in time and slid into seats beside Stephen. I froze for a second when I saw him. He never came to these lessons. It
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter one: Anna
All my life, I never knew things would turn out like this. Funny how everything can change in such a short time. But can you ever stop it from changing?I never imagined I'd write this down in a book. Yet here I am. It's the only way to feel free of it. But anyway… let's get started, shall we?My n
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