I KILLED HIM

CHAPTER 2

The high pitched shriek of the ambulance was the first thing that welcomed me when we arrived the hospital.

The car screeched to a halt.

I didn't wait for the door to be opened. I flung it open myself, stumbling out into the hospital air.

The air was thick with the sterile scent of antiseptic. I stood for a paralyzing moment, disoriented.

I fell through the automatic doors and into a brightly lit reception area.

My legs felt wobbly as I staggered to the main desk, gripping the counter so hard my knuckles turned white.

A woman with tired eyes and a name badge reading ‘Brenda’ looked up, her gaze expectant

“I’m here for Joseph Almonte,” I managed to say, my voice a hoarse croak. I barely recognized it as my own. “He… he was in an accident.”

Brenda tapped a few keys on her keyboard, her eyes skimming the screen. “Yes, Mr. Almonte. You’re the emergency contact, Mr. Rossi?”

I nodded, impatience making my whole body vibrate. “Where is he? Tell me where he is!”

She responded calmly. “Mr. Almonte was admitted as a trauma case. He was taken immediately to Operating Room 3, which is on the second floor, down the main corridor. We have a dedicated waiting area just outside the Operating Theatres for surgical patients' next of kin. Take the elevators just past the gift shop.” She offered a slight, pitying smile. “I’m afraid you won’t be able to see him right now. He’s in surgery.”

. They were cutting him open. They were trying to piece him back together.

A bile formed in my throat. I shakily pushed away from the desk, my legs carrying me towards the elevator.

The ride up was agonizingly slow, each second stretching into an eternity.

The elevator doors hissed open. I could see the double doors marked ‘Operating Theatres – Authorized Personnel Only.’

I walked to the waiting area.

A nurse in blue scrubs, her face hidden behind a mask, emerged from the double doors, glanced at me, and disappeared down a side hall.

I felt utterly helpless, waiting for a news that would either save me or break me.

I sank onto a chair, burying my face in my trembling palms. The silence was defeaning, making everything even uneasier.

All of a sudden, the double doors to the operating theatre swung open.

The surgeon, a tall man whose green scrubs were covered by a sterile blue gown, followed by two nurses. The surgeon reached up and slowly pulled down his surgical mask.

Matteo shot to his feet, a wave of adrenaline and desperate hope washing over the paralyzing fear

"Mr. Rossi?"

I felt his throat close up. "How is he? Is he awake? Can I see him?" The questions tumbled out, urgent, needy, desperate for a normal answer.

The surgeon finally looked me in the eye. He didn't rush his words. He didn't use a medical jargon. He just spoke the truth, simple and brutal.

"Mr. Rossi... we did everything we could. His injuries were catastrophic. The blunt force trauma... he lost too much blood before we could stabilize him. We worked for over two hours, but..."

He paused, and the silence that descended in that moment was the loudest sound I had ever heard.

"...Joseph didn't make it."

"No," I whispered, in utter denial

I shook my head, a slow, violent refusal. "No, you're mistaken. You must be. He was just running late. He just had to finish up at work. He can't... he can't be."

"We are sorry, Mr. Rossi. We will give you a moment to spend with him before transferring his body to the mortuary.

Heavy weight pressed down on my chest, the feeling of my heart shattering into a thousand pieces.

I buckled, gripped the plastic armrest of the chair I stood up from

The fear, the anxiety, the hope... It's gone.. All gone

One of the nurses stepped forward, murmuring words I didn't care to hear

"You told me you were doing everything!" I roared accusingly "You said you were working! You were supposed to save him! I told you not to let him go! He was fine an hour ago!"

I wanted to scream until my lungs gave out. I wanted to trade places, to rewind the clock to when he had been at the work place.

If I had not rushed him to leave his work place and come as soon as possible, if I had picked out another location for the anniversary, if I had...

I trailed off, tears flooded my eyes.

It's all my fault. I killed him.

My body shook with dry, wrenching sobs.

"I killed him"

More presence filled the waiting room, with tear filled eyes, I slowly glanced up.

My chaffeur. He looked upon me with worry, hesitated for a moment before coming closer.

"We have to leave" he said, grasping my forearm

I snatched them from him. "Joe is dead" I spelt out the words, heavily

"We have to leave now. Your father. He's looking for you."

I frowned in confusion. "Then let him find me! I don't care" I barked.

At this time, the surgeon and nurses already vacated the waiting area.

I started towards the ward where Joe was.

"He says you have to meet someone, Matteo"

My brows quirked up in question. "I'll meet no one. I want to be alone"

The chaffeur's voice dropped into an urgent whisper, his jevt words cut through the haze of my grief. "It's Eleanor Benett. Your arranged wife"