CHAPTER 3

DIANTHA

Nakapikit ang aking mga mata habang ang aking mga kamay ay mariin na nakasabunot sa buhok ng lalaki na walang tigil sa pagdila sa aking basang-basa na pagkababae.

“Oh God! Don't stop… Yes! Right there!”

I knew I sounded like a whore that is desperate to be fucked, but I don’t care anymore. The pleasure that the man is giving me is so much that it’s making me lose my sanity. He is eating me so good that what we are doing is bad, and that I already have a boyfriend. Ang tanging nasa isip ko lamang ay ang walang ibayong sarap na ipinaramdam sa akin ng lalaki gamit lamang ang kanyang bibig.

“Ahh! Ahh!”

Pawisan na ang aking buong katawan habang malakas akong humahalinghing; ang aking dalawang binti ay nakapatong sa magkabilang balikat ng lalaki. At nang magsimula ng maglabas-masok ang kanyang dila sa butas ng aking pagkababae ay hindi ko na napigilan ang aking sarili na ipitin ang ulo niyang nakapagitan sa aking mga hita dahil sa labis-labis na sarap na aking nadarama.

Halos tumirik na ang aking mga mata as the man continued thrusting his long and wide tongue inside my wet and clenching pussy. At nang maramdaman ko na ang napipinto ko ng pagsabog ay lalo pang humigpit ang pagkakaipit ko sa ulo ng lalaki. And when I finally orgasmed, I thought I had gone blind and went deaf for a few minutes, with my body shaking and spasming.

The man did not stop lapping and eating my pussy, wanting to drink all the juice that poured out of my twitching pussy. And when it seemed that there were no more juices, only then did the man raise his head.

The man was grinning from ear to ear while staring at me, looking hella satisfied at what he had done to me and at what he had just tasted.

He then said, “You taste so good, my beautiful slut.”

Habol-habol ko pa rin ang aking hininga nang salubungin ko ang mga mata ng lalaki na nagdala sa akin sa ikapitong langit, at aking sinambit ang kanyang pangalan.

“Icarus.”

Lumawak ang kanyang ngisi at napuno ng init at kapilyuhan ang kanyang mga mata.

“Yes, my dear slut. It's me—”

Kaagad akong bumalikwas ng bangon nang sa wakas ay magising na ako mula sa aking panaginip.

“Oh, God…” sambit ko habang mabilis ang aking paghinga as if I had just run a few kilometers, at hinilamos ko ang aking mga palad sa aking mukha.

That dream again. It's that fucking dream again. But can I really call that a dream when such scenes really happened in real life?

“Fuck!” I uttered in frustration.

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko ng napanaginipan ang tagpong iyon.

I have been trying to forget it—that one night of a passionate mistake that I had with Icarus and the night that I betrayed Ashton. I have been trying to wipe out that memory so many times already because every time I dream of it, my guilt just keeps on increasing, and it makes me want to throw up. But just like how I betrayed Ashton, my brain is betraying me too as it keeps reminding me of it through my dreams.

I wanted it—him, Icarus, to get out of my system. Gusto ko ng kalimutan ang nangyari sa aming dalawa, kung kaya't pilit ko siyang iniiwasan kahit pa mahirap at imposible sapagka't kapatid siya ng mapapangasawa ko. And in just a few months, ay magiging legal na rin kami na magkapamilya.

I couldn't help but bite my lower lip as guilt was crashing down on me. I am also starting to feel nervous and scared. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isipan ni Icarus. Based on how he approached me last and what he told me, it was obvious that he became obsessed with me, which I still don't understand, as it was just one night. How could he be obsessed with me in just one fucking night? And what if he decides to tell Ashton the truth? What if, because of his obsession with me and his want to have me, he will tell Ashton what happened between me and him just so that he could have me all to himself? I know Icarus is capable of doing that. I heard stories about him; kung gaano siya ka-tuso at ka-mapanganib once he starts to want something.

“Just get the fuck out of my head, damn it!”

This is why I don't want to think or remember him and what happened. Because once I start remembering it, it will take quite a while for it to go away and will make me wallow in guilt, making me feel so darn miserable.

Thankfully, a noise coming from my phone that was on the bedside table brought me out of the thoughts and guilt that was slowly eating me away.

I took my phone and looked at who was calling me.

It was Ashton, and that did not fucking help me with the guilt I am feeling.

I am thinking of not answering his call, but doing that would only make him worry about me, as I always, like always, answer his call in the morning, as it had already become a habit for us—calling and greeting each other the moment we wake up. So with a deep sigh, I pressed the answer button and put my phone to my ear.

“Good morning, baby!” Ang masiglang bati sa akin ni Ashton.

Kahit hindi ko siya nakikita ay sigurado akong malapad ang kanyang ngiti habang binabati ako. And if other people see him like that—his subordinates and business partners to be specific—they surely would be shocked. Because the Ashton they knew is the kind of guy who rarely smiles. And if he does, it would either be a grin and a smirk or his usual business smile.

But when it comes to me, whenever he is with me, Ashton turns into a different person. He becomes bubbly, lively, and animated and loves to have fun, and he always has a sweet and genuine smile prepared only for me. And that was one of the reasons why I fell in love with him—because he shows and does things that are reserved only for me.

“Good morning, baby. Ang aga mo atang napatawag ngayon?” Sagot ko sa kanya, trying so hard to not sound miserable as I lay down back on my bed.

“Namiss kasi kita,” malambing na saad ni Ashton, na siyang nagpangiti sa akin kahit papaano.

“Miss mo na ako agad eh? Magkasama nga lang tayo kagabi. Kung hindi pa nga kita pinilit ay hindi mo pa ako pauuwiin.”

I heard him chuckle from the other line. “Mahal kita eh.”

“Anong connect nun?” Natatawa kong tanong sa kanya.

“Wala. Gusto ko lang sabihin na mahal kita.”

I should be happy, ecstatic even, to be hearing such loving words from my fiancé. I should be feeling butterflies in my stomach; I should be smiling like a lovestruck fool; I should be giggling. But I didn't. Instead, what I felt was the tremendous guilt again, swallowing me whole, making me feel more miserable than I already am.

“Baby?” Tawag sa akin ni Ashton nang ilang minuto na ang lumipas at hindi pa rin ako nakapagsalita. He was wondering why I did not respond to him; I am sure of that. So I cleared my throat and put on a smile on my lips, hoping that the smile I had put on would reflect on my words as well.

“I love you too,” paunang sabi ko na sinamahan ko pa ng pagtawa. “Umagang-umaga pa kasi tapos pinapakilig mo na ako. Na-speechless tuloy ako.”

I know my words are not making sense, but thankfully, Ashton did not think too much about it at tinawanan lang ako, making me feel so relieved. But the relief I am feeling vanishes right away when Ashton speaks again.

“Siya nga pala, papunta na si Kuya diyan sa bahay mo.”

Mabilis akong napaupo muli at bumilis din ang tibok ng aking puso. “What? Why?”

Ashton chuckled. “Are you panicking?”

I cursed inwardly before clearing my throat and tried to sound as calm as I could. “Well, I am just not ready to see him again yet. I mean, you know… with what happened yesterday… I'm just… not comfortable with seeing him again right away.”

“Pero nag-usap naman na kayo kahapon, hindi ba? You didn't look uncomfortable when you told me that it's fine to leave you alone with him.” Walang pagtataka sa boses ni Ashton. In fact, it was filled with amusement, as if he found it amusing how I am now panicking when I was left alone with his brother yesterday.

I bit my lip and thought of the right words to say, but I couldn't think of any, so I ended up shutting my mouth, worrying that if I opened my mouth, I would just end up saying things that'll make Ashton doubt me.

“I already told you, it's fine. Kuya's very cool with it. Unless may sinabi siya sayo kahapon.” Kahit hindi ko nakikita si Ashton, I can tell that one of his brows was raised.

“No, he didn't say anything,” I said before sighing. “Alright, if you say it's fine, then it's fine.” Tugon ko na lamang even though I know that nothing is going to be fine.

“Good,” Ashton said, sounding damned pleased. “So, as I was saying, papunta na si Kuya diyan sa bahay mo para sunduin ka.”

Kumunot ang aking noo. “Why? Anong meron?”

“Wala naman. Mama and Papa just wanted to see you and wanted you to join us for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

I nodded as if Ashton could see me. “Pero bakit Kuya mo ang susundo sa'kin? Bakit hindi ikaw?” I made sure that I sounded sad about the fact that it wasn't Ashton who would pick me up.

Ashton chuckled. “Trust me, baby. I really wanted to be the one to pick you up, pero nagpresenta si Kuya na dadaanan ka nalang daw niya since madadaanan ka din daw naman niya. And Mom wants me to help with the breakfast too.”

Muli akong palihim na napamura. I know that what Icarus told Ashton is just an excuse. I know Icarus is up to no good.

God knows how much I wanted to tell Ashton that I'd rather he pick me up or I'll just come myself since I have a car, but I know that that would just lead to another confusion, kung kaya't kahit ayaw ko ay pumayag na lamang ako.

After that, napunta na sa iba ang usapan namin, hanggang sa tinawag na si Ashton ng Mama niya, na siyang dahilan upang tapusin na niya ang tawag.

Matapos kong ibalik sa bedside table ang aking cellphone ay umalis na rin ako sa aking kama upang makapag-ayos na.

I was already in the middle of putting a red lipstick on my lips nang tumunog ang doorbell, indikasyon na dumating na ang taong pinakainiiwasan ko.

Tinapos ko muna ang paglalagay ng lipstick at inayos na rin ang suot kong bestida bago ako lumabas ng aking kwarto. I slowly made my way to the door, and when I was already right in front of it, ay pansamantala muna akong tumigil at isang malalim na buntong-hininga ang aking pinakawalan.

“Relax, Diantha. Just relax. Act normal. Don't be nervous, and don't show him that you're scared. Don't let his presence get to you.”

Ilang malalim na buntong-hininga pa ang aking pinakawalan bago ko maramdaman na kaya ko ng harapin si Icarus ng walang kahit anong pangamba.

I opened the door to my home, and I was immediately greeted by Icarus, who had a stoic expression. And like usual, he was looking like a whole damn snack with his cowboy outfit—a black, bold cowboy hat that covered half of his shoulder-length brown and curly hair, a classic black leather jacket that covered his sexy-as-fuck tattoos, a thin white t-shirt that fit his upper body perfectly so that I could already see his chest and abdominal muscles, and jeans that seemed to be a bit tight, already molding the shape of his sleeping manhood and his muscular thighs. And to make his outfit sexier, he capped his jeans with a rodeo belt and brown leather derby shoes.

If there is a better word for hot and sexy, that's how I will be describing Icarus. The man is fucking handsome, hot, desirable, and sinful.

“I don't mind being stared at lustfully, but I prefer it in the bedroom, Diantha,” pilyong saad ni Icarus, na siyang dahilan upang matigil ako sa pagtitig sa kanya.

My face flushed out of embarrassment, and I silently scolded myself.

‘Wasn't I just feeling guilty a moment ago? Why the hell am I now salivating for this seductive and handsome—fuck! Get over it, Diantha! Be rational! Think of Ashton!’

I cleared my throat at matapang siyang hinarap sa kabila ng labis na pamumula ng aking mukha. I said, “I forgot my bag. I'll just go and get it.” Then, without letting him speak, tinalikuran ko na siya and I headed, almost running, to my bedroom to go get my bag, which I forgot to bring with me due to nervousness.

Hindi na ako nag-abala pa na isara ang pinto ng aking kwarto dahil bag ko lang naman ang kukunin ko at lalabas din ako ulit para makaalis na kami kaagad. I can't let him stay in my house, which was the reason why I did not invite him anymore to come in.

Kakakuha ko lang ng bag ko at palabas na sana ako ng aking kwarto nang paglingon ko ay nakita ko si Icarus na nakasandal sa may pintuan habang nakatitig sa akin with his arms crossed over his chest.

Bumalik na naman ang aking kaba, at nalunok ko na rin ang sarili kong laway. And there goes again the fast and loud beating of my heart. But despite what I am feeling, I was still able to ask Icarus with a brave look on my face.

“Anong ginagawa mo dito? You should have just waited for me outside,” kalmadong sabi ko kahit pa pakiramdam ko ay sasabog na ang puso ko sa lakas ng tibok nito.

My instinct was telling me that if I let this be, this will lead to something that I have been avoiding happening.

“Mainit sa labas kaya pumasok na ako,” balewala namang sagot ni Icarus.

Alas-nuebe pa lang. Hindi pa gaanong mainit. At kahit mainit pa, hindi pa rin pwedeng basta-basta ka na lamang pumasok sa bahay ng ibang tao na walang pahintulot mula sa kanila. That's trespassing,” matapang ko pa rin na sagot sa kanya. Hindi ko hahayaan na makita niyang may epekto sa akin ang ginagawa niya.

“Relax, Diantha. Wala naman akong gagawing masama sa'yo,” ang sagot naman niya sa akin bago niya inilibot ang kanyang mga mata sa kabuuan ng aking kwarto. “Gusto ko lang naman makita ang loob ng bahay ng mapapangasawa ng kapatid ko. Masama na ba iyon?” Tanong niya nang ibalik niya ang kanyang tingin sa akin.

I raised my brows at him but chose to not retort to him anymore. I just want us to leave right away so that this instinct I am having will go away too.

“Well, now that you've already seen my house, or more like my bedroom, can we leave now? Ashton and your parents are waiting for us.”

Kagaya ng naunang ginawa ko, hindi ko na hinintay na sumagot pa si Icarus. Tuloy-tuloy lamang ako sa paglakad, at akmang lalampasan ko na siya nang bigla niyang ipinalibot ang kanyang isang kamay sa aking beywang at hinila ako palapit sa kanya, na siyang aking ikinagulat at ikinasinghap.

“Not so fast, woman,” he said in his familiar, dangerous tone.

It took a few seconds bago ako nakabawi mula sa pagkakagulat, but once I did, kaagad akong nagpumiglas, trying to escape from his grasp. Ngunit hinigpitan lamang niya ang pagkakapalibot ng kanyang braso sa aking beywang.

“Let me go,” I said through gritted teeth.

Inilapit ni Icarus ang kanyang mukha sa akin, na siyang ikinalaki ng mga mata ko. “Paano kung ayaw ko?” Pilyo niyang patanong na sagot sa akin.

Ikinuyom ko ang aking mga kamao at naningkit ang aking mga mata. “Let me go. Think of your brother. I am your brother's fiancé—”

“And yet you slept with me,” kaagad naman niyang putol sa sinasabi ko. “And haven't I already told you?” Lalo niyang inilapit ang kanyang mukha sa akin hanggang sa halos isang dangkal na lamang ang nakapagitan sa aming mga labi. One wrong move, and our lips will eventually meet. “That I won't hand you over to anyone else, my little slut. Not even to my brother. You fucking belong to me.”

Something inside me clenched and heated at the intensity of Icarus' eyes and voice. But I did not pay attention to it, and instead, I gritted my teeth as I retorted. “Have you lost your fucking mind? Just because we had sex doesn't mean I belong to you. God, I am not even a thing in the first place to be owned by someone! And even if I am, i*****k mo sa kokote mo na ang kapatid mo ang nagmamay-ari sa akin. Hindi ikaw!”

But despite the rage that I am showing, Icarus just grinned at me as if he found what I just said to be amusing. “Oh, my dear little slut, akin ka, and I know you already know that. You are just scared to admit it. And what happened between us that night is the pure evidence of that—that you are mine. You gave yourself to me willingly and told me that you belong to me.”

“I was drunk!”

“Drunk people often tell the truth.”

“You are—” Hindi na natuloy ni Diantha ang sasabihin nang biglang sakupin ni Icarus ang kanyang mga labi.

Nanlaki ang aking mga mata sa ginawa ni Icarus. I was so shocked, prompting me to be frozen and not being able to move right away. And Icarus took that chance to bite my lower lip, causing me to involuntarily gasp, which he took again as a chance to insert his tongue.

Icarus' tongue searched for my tongue, and when he found it, he flirted with it, urging it to play with him. And as if my body had a mind of its own, my tongue did play with Icarus, causing him to growl in satisfaction.

My brain was telling me that this is wrong, that I should put a stop to it, to think about Ashton, but fuck! I couldn't! Instead, all I started remembering was the night Icarus fucked me roughly and brutally and made me scream in pleasure all night.

I can feel my body heating, my womanhood clenching. I am turned on, and that makes the tiniest bit of rationality I have to slip away. And the moment it did, a needy moan immediately came out of my mouth while I was still being kissed by my fiance's older brother. And before I knew it, and damn it all, but the need to kiss Icarus back sprouted in my head.

Ngunit bago ko pa man maisagawa ang gusto ng aking katawan, at ngayon ay pati isip ko na, ay tumigil na si Icarus sa paghalik sa akin.

We looked into each other's eyes. Lust and desire are evident in Icarus' eyes, and I can guess that it's the same in mine. Pareho kaming naghahabol ng hininga.

In a small, but filled with so much need, Icarus whispered, “Your lips taste the same. It's sweet and fucking addictive.”

I wanted to speak and say something, anything, but my mind was too chaotic, leaving me nothing to think but the way our lips and our tongues moved against each other. Hanggang sa unti-unti ng lumayo sa akin si Icarus, and before I knew it, his arms were not on my waist anymore and he was already heading out of my room while saying, “Let's go. We can't let them wait any longer.”